Takeaways every night !

[Lookwhostalking25]

I am sure I will be absolutely jumped on
but I just cannot get the hang of sorting dinner out 😂😂🙈
single mum of 3 ( baby and 2 primary school kids, one of which is disabled ) widowed nearly a year now.
I can juggle about everything else but food I struggled before returning back to work but wasn’t too bad but since returning I just haven’t managed it.
today was day 14 of takeouts after going back to work 2 weeks ago 😂😂
please send me tips because I’m sure the kids will come accustomed very shortly to take our lives haha !

Another quick one - if you have a slow cooker - is I get chopped chicken pieces and jar sauce - like sweet and sour or curry or tikka masala etc. Chuck it in and there’s a fast prep meal, and double to make left overs for the freezer. Batch cooking can be really onerous but using jar sauces and shortcuts can help speed it up with less prep and mess

I’m sorry for your loss. With 3 kids and working too you are doing amazing - so no jumping on from here for takeaways. We have one a week - it’s a treat not to cook

If you google there may be a service in your area that does homestyle cooked meals and delivers them. There's several near us that offer the service.

First thing is not to beat yourself up about this, you're doing amazingly well already.

I'd suggest starting by keeping it simple.

Maybe a couple of nights of "things on toast" - scrambled egg, cheese, beans etc. .

Tubs of fresh soups with rolls/bread.

Sausage sandwiches and veg sticks.

Omelettes with beans (new potatoes if you can face it).

Pasta with a jar of sauce/pot of fresh sauce and a pile of cheese (or halloumi fried off in a pan).

Keep bags of mixed veg in the freezer that can be thrown in a pan or the microwave to supplement.

Then once you're in a better routine you can start thinking about more adventurous stuff/batch cooking etc.

Make bolognese using fresh mince, big handful of veg chucked in a blender so it's small, and then a jar of sauce - would be ready in 20 mins or so.

Gosh! Bless you but you’ve had it all going on. You’re still upright. The kids are loved and fed. You need to remember that. I’ve had nothing like the challenges you’ve faced and I still feel completely overwhelmed - DH had a stroke last year and our lives went completely upside down. I did batch cook whilst he was in hospital - because it was something I could do that was useful; because I knew when he got home I’d need all my energy for other things. What helps me is getting a Ninja and finding the odd opportunity to batch cook - it’s not every week; some days (most) I’m too sodding tired, but it’s often enough. Having something healthy I can just defrost is a gift at the end of a long day. And some days we order in a take away.

I'd batch cook but some easy stuff like bolognese or hidden veg tomato sauce (rough chop then blend) or curry or baked potatoes (not lasagne or shepherd's pie or something that needs to be cooked in stages). A larger quantity doesn't take longer.

Look up things like traybakes where you bung a load of things in the oven and forget about it for half an hour so you can get on with other things and the actual work involved is really short.

Can you look at Jamie's 15 minute meals or something that is actually quicker than ordering takeaway? Lots of pasta sauces can be made while the pasta is cooking and fish can be cooked in 10 min.

Could you cook in the evening after the kids are in bed and then blast in the microwave the next day?

I'd look at doing a blend of home made and convenience. Like fresh udon noodles which take 3 min to stir fry, with some stir fried veg and a bought sauce. Packet rice alongside something home cooked etc

Some people swear by slow cookers and make their meals in the morning, like bunging a whole chicken in

I did smile at “ abolishing” OP - predictive text?
Sorry for your loss 💐

Could have meant anything 😂😂😂 I’m so tired I don’t even know the day most of the time.

You have so much on your plate!

Just another perspective on Hello Fresh and the like- although it took the guesswork out of what to cook for dinner, I found the recipes were often a lot of work and involved many components that needed to be timed- lots of packets to open, things to chop, then all the cleanup. It didn't work for us at all, and you'd need to choose carefully when you are also looking after three kids.

I much prefer a one-pot or one-tray approach for quick dinners such as spag bol, chilli, cottage pie and stir fry, mixed in with easy freezer stuff. If you can find a time on the weekends to batch cook something, it will save you so much time in the long run.

I will also give a big shout out to the ready meal selection at the better UK supermarkets. We live in Canada now and I really miss that- the quality and price of of pre-prepared food is so much better there!

For now, buy a week or (if you have space in fridge) 2 weeks' worth of beige meals:
e.g. chicken nuggets/breaded chicken/chicken or turkey cordon bleu, fish fingers or breaded fish, frozen chips and another kind of frozen potato or those frozen vegetable 'patties', some ready made lasagnes/pasta dishes/moussaka/shepherd's pie
plus baby carrots/carrot sticks and cherry tomatoes, cheese, yoghurts and 'lazy' fruit like bananas that don't require any prep. beyond washing.
Set an alarm on your phone for 45 minutes before you want to have dinner. Preheat the oven and, while it's heating up, lay the table and put out the carrots and tomatoes. Then bung the beige food onto an oven tray and cook for 30 mins. - set a timer on oven or your phone. Serve and eat, followed by the cheese, and the yoghurt or fruit.

Get the children to help as much as they can with clearing up.

Get yourself into a routine of 'homecooking' simply like this, every day, and then you can get more adventurous if you have the energy.

I send you all my love, OP, being widowed must be so so hard.

We buy some ready meals each week. I tend to try to check ingredients and mostly they're brilliant. Very tasty too!

Hello fresh and similar are a lot of faff in my view if you are looking for something easy. You are better off getting some shove in the oven stuff which can be healthy (sometimes!), and try to find one night a week where you cook big and easy something like a mega bolognaise

I think the funny thing is I thought I was doing better by the children. DP loved to cook so you know who was I to complain !
we were used very nice meals every night and don’t get me wrong they like a burger / hot dog etc
I felt like getting a take out that matched what he would of cooked
for example salmon steaks or curry etc would better than me throwing hot dogs on at home 😂😭 but I mean it can’t continue
I will have a look at the hello fresh and M&S meals.

Try gousto it’s my weekly lifesaver!

you’ll get the first box super cheap with a referral code. Here’s mine should you need it! I’ve done it every week for 4 years and love it 😂🫶🏽

https://gousto.co.uk/raf?promo_code=NADIA42206859&utm_source=iosapp

Do you have a relative who can be around for a Saturday or Sunday in your house just keeping an eye on your kids while you do a heap of batch cooking? Lasagne, bolognaise, chillid soup etc and put it all in those many takeaway containers 😂
And do a big shop of easy stuff like pasta, pesto, beans etc. so that you have something that takes 10 minutes. Then when you have things more sorted you can get into a bit more labour intensive stuff but for now that would be nutritious and good

I’d start with a list and a good online shop to get delivered.
I’d start simple and try to add in some better home cooked meals as you go along.
So pasta and sauce, oven chips, breaded chicken and veg. I’d also vote for soup and pudding night which we still do often - soup, nice bread, cake and custard.

What you need to break is the takeaway habit firstly and then think about cooking more. Maybe batch cook one thing every weekend so it lasts one meal a week for a month and keep adding.

If I was working while raising three kids after being widowed, the kids would have scurvy and be eating dog food. I tip my cap to you.

Have any friends/family said “let me know if there’s anything I can do”? Maybe let people know that cooking fresh meals for you you can freeze would be something practical they can help with

Buy a slow cooker. Chuck everything in it first thing in the morning and come home to a delicious cooked meal. Also buy a rice cooker.

So 5 mins in the morning, 5 mins in the evening. That’s all it takes.

To be fair I’m defo not the mum anymore I thought I would be 🙈🙈
everything has gone down the pan
no more judging mums with kids running to school eating a Greggs sausage roll for breakfast !!!

Lots of dinners don't take much effort (this is how I manage!)

Jacket potatoes and beans and cheese

Pasta and sauce (out of a jar!), add tuna and cheese with a bit of veg

A freezer dinner - fishfingers, chips and beans

Can the kids eat a hot meal at school/nursery so there's less pressure to have a hot meal every evening?

How is your mental health?
I find that I get more takeaways in when I get depressed or can't cope very well.

So I’m not going to deny the first few weeks after a DP dies your house is filled with more food than anyone could eat and your eating like royalty unfortunately a year down the line your lucky of someone would loan you a slice of bread 😭😂

I mean it’s not perfect but I am on the wait list for nhs therapy so may improve by the time I get seen at 85 years old.

And just to say OP, I'm so sorry for your loss.
But, not to sound flippant, your kids will be fine food wise! I am a child of the 70s/ 80s and it was angel delight/ pot noodles/ vesta curries/ beige food for us and pretty much nothing else and it was honestly all good. Please give yourself a break.

Nope, you’re great, and I hope you get to care for yourself a little in all of this.