Takeaways every night !

[Lookwhostalking25]

I am sure I will be absolutely jumped on
but I just cannot get the hang of sorting dinner out 😂😂🙈
single mum of 3 ( baby and 2 primary school kids, one of which is disabled ) widowed nearly a year now.
I can juggle about everything else but food I struggled before returning back to work but wasn’t too bad but since returning I just haven’t managed it.
today was day 14 of takeouts after going back to work 2 weeks ago 😂😂
please send me tips because I’m sure the kids will come accustomed very shortly to take our lives haha !

OP why not go to Asda and buy a load of frozen meals.
Also grab some jacket potato’s and pasta with a jar of sauce.

Its not just about eating healthy but also about showing your kids that takeaways are a treat and having a home cooked meal (even if it’s frozen pizza) is part of daily life.

Its not healthy to be eating their meals in the car and it’s costing you an absolute fortunate.

Takeaways are a really fun treat too and it’s something that me and my DC rarely get and it’s such a special thing when we do.

You cannot go from eating takeaways every day to cooking from scratch every day, it’s just not going to happen.

So make a plan where you have takeaway 2/3 times a week, the other days have frozen pizza/jacket potatos etc and perhaps have one day where you make mash potatoes or something that takes a bit more effort.

Your kids are fed, that’s the main thing.

Now slowly start getting into the habit of going home to eat, even if it’s stuff that doesn’t require any prep.

I too struggle with finding the time to cook too as a single parent, so this thread has been really helpful for me also!
Thanks for starting it OP.

You sound like a great mum!

First of all, hats off to you.

Secondly, it would be a big leap going from takeaways every night to making everything from scratch.

As a sort of medium way, it is possible to buy in stuff like a ready to cook lasagne / ready roasted chicken/ pizza/ shepherd's pie/ those fresh ravioli pasta packets, ready in 2 minutes, for weeks when the agenda is very busy. Minimal work and prep.

I also love frozen veggies, you can get ready chargrilled frozen veg as well.

My kids love toasted cheese sandwiches and tomato soup xx

I'd suggest sitting down once a week with a cuppa and making a meal plan then ordering a tesco delivery. It's fairly easy to set up an account, just make sure you check out properly.
Plan simple meals for the first week - sausage mash and beans, pasta pesto and frozen peas, ready made lasagne with a bag of salad, ready made pizza etc. stuff you can chuck in the oven. Might not be the healthiest but at least it's a start and will definitely be cheaper than take aways.
Good luck, you've survived an awful year so you can do this easily !

I’m an experienced cook, but Gousto and the like are way too complicated for me mid-week. We do have them occasionally, but they coincide with school holidays when there’s less rushing around and they feel like a treat. There are a few recipes that have hit the regular meal plan though.

Something that we use regularly, but people don’t mention often are the recipe packets you can get from Schwartz and Coleman and the like.

My kids love the Coleman tuna pasta bake, chicken casserole and chicken Chasseur. From schwartz they like paprika chicken, chicken Provençal, chicken biriyani and beef in ale.

a couple of kitchen gadgets that have improved our weekday meal prep are a dual ninja air fryer, instant pot and microwave. These 3 work together and cook stuff more quickly than the hob or oven.

I have a sistema microwave rice cooker and steamer containers. 10 minutes (plus 10 sitting) for asdas easy cook rice and 5-7 minutes for steamed veg in there. Rice in first, then veg while the rice is standing. Meat in the air fryer (or instant pot if ir has a sauce) while all that is going on.

Good luck OP, it can’t be easy.

Definitely not ideal but I totally agree with @storminabuttercup. Your kids are fed and you're coping. You're winning!

Just be warned that Gousto and Hello Fresh have about 10 million ingredients. Plus, when I used HF, the ingredients often turned up looking a bit limp or were very close to the use by date. I’d say a slow cooker would be a lot easier and cheaper.

It's super tough when kids are little because you have such a short turnaround from picking them up & bedtime.
Very much recommend - short cuts so for example salmon steak (90 secs in micro) & microwave rice & sugar snap peas - less than 10 mins
Fresh pasta not dried coz it only takes half as long to cook.
If they are having food at school/nursery, soup is a winner as is veggies/dips/protein platter
Ready meals aren't amazing but are a necessary evil at times.
Cucumber/Toms/Carrots & Peppers as a side to less healthy & fruit for pudding gives some nutrition.
Be kind to yourself - embrace the good enough parenting. They need good nutrition but they also need you & your time and attention so find a balance.

This is perfect advice. Cut yourself some slack - you are doing an amazing job.

I buy those little portions of frozen veg. They only take 3 1/2 mins in the microwave and remove some of the guilt from feeding nuggets and waffles.

Take small steps and then when it becomes routine and not overwhelming, you could introduce some different meals (bolognese or chilli using the flavour sachets is are really quick and easy to do).

Be kind to yourself.

What about Costco? I mean it can still be costly but probably not as expensive as take away every night, they do a huge lasagna for between £10-£15 which would easily do two nights dinner for you all, they obviously do other meal options too, but my partner has been pretty much eating the lasagna all week (the rest of us don’t eat lasagna!)

Quick meals that can be put in the oven whilst you get on with other things. If you have an air fryer these will save time.

Meatballs, pasta and sauce
Fish and chips
Quiche, jacket pot and salad
Chicken burgers
Cottage pie( pre made) with veg
Pasta bake ( pre made) salad, garlic bread
Chicken and rice

All This will cost a lot less than take away and although a lot is pre made it means you are sitting at home eating together and it is slightly more healthy .
Set a delivery day with Tesco / Asda each week and have it all there ready for you

But also I agree with others - be kind to yourself. I don’t think I’d cope well in your situation at all so the fact that you are is everything right now x

Get a delivery service - Tesco/Asda/whatever

Once a week order - just repeat the old one and adjust it a little so it takes all of 5-10 minutes.

Breakfast is cornflakes, milk, blueberries, bananas, eggs, toast.
Lunch is sandwiches - bread, butter, cucumber, ham/chicken slices, soup cans

Snacks - Biscuits, fruit - apples and pears

Dinner -
Pizza (ready ones from the store)
Pasta with jar of sauce and can of tuna
Baked beans on toast,
Grilled chicken/chicken nuggets (all frozen) with chips
Fish fingers, fancy fish (again frozen), chips
Mac and cheese.
Takeaway

Every day for dinner - cut a large plate of carrots, cucumbers, courgettes, mushrooms, radishes, celery, cherry tomatoes with homous/yogurt to dip and a packet of salad leaves.. and fruit.

You can get them started on carrot sticks and yogurt while the pizza/fish fingers etc is cooking.
Or take baby cucumbers and carrot sticks for the car as they are used to eating in the car (maybe with a packet of pitta bread).

After a few weeks you will know what gets eaten vs thrown away.

It's not proper home cooking - but it's a middle ground between cooking from scratch and takeaways every day.

OP I am so so sorry for your loss. If things get too much I hope you're able to reach out to friends and family.

I agree with other posters about batch cooking, you can buy single use trays that you can freeze and pop in the microwave. We use liquid tight food bags as you can freeze them flat for more storage.

Gousto is pretty good, I learned a lot of nice recipies from there.

I like tray bakes. Most of the work is putting seasoning on the food then letting the oven do the rest. Less washing up too.

Be kind to yourself

You have had some good advice here, so I can only really echo it.

Start small and gradually. Hello Fresh and Gusto do require quite a lot of prep time. I never really got the hang of batch cooking and always think things never taste as good when they have been frozen.

Ready for wok stir fries, frozen breaded fish/chicken, fresh pasta with sauce, even ready meals all accompanied by frozen veg are much cheaper and healthier than takeaways and need very little time or thought. I'd focus on that and a weekly online shop for now and reevaluate in a month or so.

Hi
thank you so much for all your comments !
i have taken them all on board and thank you for the kindness
my youngest is about to start weaning so I need to fix it quick

I think it’s just the madness I went from 2 to 3 kids in the mist of the events and she had bought such wonderful joy to our lives but my life took a 360.

I have managed to sort work hours because I’m lucky that my job is 24/7 hours if that makes sense so I do 5 am to 3pm
this wasn’t easy to navigate someone looking after the kids 😂 but we did manage it but it means they are only really without me for the 1 and half hours whilst they get ready for school and then I’m their to collect apart from baby of course who the person I have doing mornings and school runs drops her off at the nursery.
the dinner and housework is something that has taken a back seat although I fixed the housework with a cleaner 😂😂😂 unfortunately I’m not rich enough to hire a chef.
good news today though the weather is lovely again so me and the kids have gone to the shops and have bought A BBQ and BBQ food.
( pray for them tbh as I’ve never even turned one on 😂😂😂)

I agree - be kind to yourself. Somethings I find useful @Lookwhostalking25:

1. Better quality ready meals as mentioned up thread - Charlie Bingam in the super market, the M&S kids ones and there is Cookfood.Net - homemade ready meals - would be my go to.
2. Fresh pasta and sauce - filled tortilini (spelling?)

I would start a habit of eating at home, with ready meals and build up from there, maybe cook once a week at a weekend to start with x

Food is food whether hot or cold, so they don't have to have a hot cooked meal every day. If they have school dinners, then that is good too.

These things are all simple and are a meal

Beans on toast - can add ham or grated cheese
A cheese sandwich with fruit
A toasted sandwich, various fillings
Jacket potato with various fillings

All those things could be tea.

I might cook chicken breast with roasties and veg one night, then have battered fish with potato waffles the next. Tesco do a nice fresh pasta that I cook in minutes in the microwave, then microwave a cheese sauce to mix in, and that's another tasty tea. Thursday as known as "Cheese roll Thursday" as its the day the shopping is delivered, so we have nice fresh rolls that day as it's DD's favourite.

I buy fresh/frozen chicken goujons or chicken breast chunks rather than nuggets, but anything that says 100% chicken should be ok.

You could involve the kids in food prep depending on their age, or as they get older, even buttering bread would help you to cut down the time. As they get older they can chop and peel. They need to be part of a team as they grown up.

I think if you batch cook at the weekend, say enough for 2 meals, then try a quick prep meal say 2 nights, like beans on toast etc, then gradually you will cut down on the amount of takeaways.

Yes, no judgment. I’m surprised you can stomach it though. I recall when my parents went on holiday and left me on my own for the first time. After three nights I was well and truly over it, had to walk down to the shops for ingredients.

And trust me I LOVE a takeaway.

how about starting with ‘Cook’ frozen meals? Everything made for you, you just need to bung in the oven. Hello fresh is all very well but you still need to chop the ingredients and cook it. The aim here is to get you something healthier and cheaper for you and your kids and not add to your mental load.

Hi OP
Try Cruse. You can sign up for 6 sessions of therapy and just pay whatever you can afford. You have to wait about 3 months for it to come through. I did it on Teams because of Covid.

I was widowed suddenly 2.5 years ago. My manager signed me up for 6 weeks of work place therapy and I signed myself up for Cruse therapy. I got the 6 weeks work therapy relatively quickly and then waited a couple of weeks and started having therapy from Cruse. Cruse was better because you're speaking to a bereavement counsellor rather than an ordinary counsellor. Even if they haven't been there themselves they are more understanding of the situation you find yourself in.

I also fed my kids takeaways for a year. But look where you are. You are holding together a home and a family, paying the bills, washing their clothes and feeding them. People said I should stay in bed and cry for 3 months but I couldn't afford to. I HAD to get up and look after my family and go to work.
Work turned into a saving grace. It took my mind off of all the shit I had to deal with and the emotional whirlpool I found myself in.

With everything you're going through, be kind to yourself.
The kids are being fed. It's not great but it is what it is. And you will get back into providing healthier meals. I used to cook our family meals but for that first year I had no energy left to cook as I tried to hold it all together.
I'm gradually getting it all together. The brain fog is fading slowly. You're doing your best. Pat yourself on the back and don't worry about unhealthy meals. It won't hurt for now and it won't be forever. Baby steps. Sending hugs to you my lovely xxx 💐❤

Another really easy meal, those roast in the bag chickens. Literally bung in the oven, add some ready made roasties on a tray for the last half hour, some frozen veg and bingo you have a meal.

I invested in a ninja foodi multi cooker recently as I work long shifts too . Did egg fried rice from dry rice from start to finish in 15 mins the other night and it was really good. The pressure cooker function is so quick for making stew/curry etc and the air fryer is super handy. Might be worth investing in something like that to quickly batch cook?

What actual time do you have once you're at home and you've done chores and sorted out the children?
Evenings and weekends?

I don’t want to speak for the OP, but I I imagine she might just be ready to flop onto the sofa feeling shattered, after she’s done the chores and got the kids sorted, after a day at work while grieving and having returned to work. It might not be about time but more about the sheer mental and physical exhaustion.

Op it sounds like a time management issue rather than a kitchen skills issue. And bloody hell, that's not judgemental, you're sound like you're doing a good job!

If you pick the kids up at 3.30 and grab take out which gets demolished (rather than abolished) in the car, that means tea is done by 4.30 presumably? Do you and the kids then need a later supper? What's happening between home time and bed time?

If you weren't stopping for takeout, what time would you be home and what time would you prefer to eat?

You can get frozen veg that microwaves in 3 minutes so you can throw that alongside anything you cook. Pre cooked chicken, frozen veg and tinned new potatoes. Take you as long as waiting for a curry would.

Get the kids to help chop or entertain the baby.

Do the kids have hot lunches at school? In which case some nights soup and bread, or toasties and soup, etc is fine