Takeaways every night !

[Lookwhostalking25]

I am sure I will be absolutely jumped on
but I just cannot get the hang of sorting dinner out 😂😂🙈
single mum of 3 ( baby and 2 primary school kids, one of which is disabled ) widowed nearly a year now.
I can juggle about everything else but food I struggled before returning back to work but wasn’t too bad but since returning I just haven’t managed it.
today was day 14 of takeouts after going back to work 2 weeks ago 😂😂
please send me tips because I’m sure the kids will come accustomed very shortly to take our lives haha !

Echoing others OP - you are awesome solo-parenting 3 & sorry for your loss!
I am a solo-parent of 1 working 50ish hr wk; we also have takeaway more often than I care to admit, but DC won't eat rice, pasta or potatoes (other than chips)...
Will eat sweet potatoes, so I tend to chop those at the weekend so that i can just bung in the air fryer - they have 3 portions of fruit/veg in lunchbox & snacks are fruit/greek yoghurt only, so I don't worry too much at dinner.
Cook from frozen chicken breasts are good now too...
Recommendations from me are; invest in an air-fryer & keep it simple....Chicken, JP & peas is a decent enough meal & can all be cooked straight from the freezer...
Pizza wraps are great - wholemeal wrap + tomato puree with whatever toppings, fold in half, bung in air-fryer for 5 mins add tomatoes/cuc/peppers raw on the side...
Good luck, you've got this!

Sorry OP, I haven't RTFT so apologies if I'm repeating what others have said.

Firstly, as PP have said, please don't give yourself a hard time. You're doing a fantastic job to be keeping things going, I can't imagine how difficult it must be to find yourself widowed with such young children.

One simple thing we do is that we have the same 7 meals every week. There's enough variety in them that we're not completely fed up, and it removes the whole mental load of deciding what to cook. The shop is the same every week too. Our current rotation is (as you'll see, all very instant, quick meals for the gap between pickup and bedtime):

Meatballs with tomato sauce (just passata) and pasta or fried rice

Chicken and pesto pasta

Tuna pasta bake

Bolognese

Steak for us/fish fingers for the kids

Takeaway

Roast

As the kids have gotten fussier the pasta has increased as you can see!

Use every labour saving device you can (jarred sauces, pre chopped veg, frozen veg etc) and stick the TV on to allow you to cook.

And don't be hard on yourself if some evenings you sack it off and get a takeaway.

I’ve read all your posts and you are a bloody brilliant mum. What really struck me was your sense of humour and that must be helping you all hugely.

You mentioned salmon steaks? I bake these in foil parcels with some vegetables. No trays to wash up! They take about 10 minutes on a high heat - the same as your pasta or rice.

Jacket potato and beans is the food of champions.

Roast chicken literally takes 5 minutes to pop in and pop out again. Get a big one and you’ll have leftovers to put in a baguette (with oven chips) and add to a jar of curry sauce.

Fish fingers, chips and peas is my go to fake-away.

Go easy on yourself and keep a few takeaways in while you get used to cooking at home.

I cook, have always cooked, and enjoy cooking. I don't find it hard after years of practice making proper meals whilst working full time and bringing up a family on my own. I do have loads of sympathy for those who struggle with it though for whatever reason.

I am genuinely impressed by some of the suggestions above which are not only healthy, simple and cheap but can be produced quicker than waiting in the queue for a takeaway!

Vegetable soup and a cheese toasty or a wholemeal wrap with chicken and salad literally take minutes. Some excellent suggestions.

I’m flinching at your cc bill. I have fish and chips every few months as it takes that long to recover from the cost.

My go to quick meals. Salmon fillets in the air fryer, microwave mash in 4 minutes. Heat through some peas/ broccoli/ sugar snaps. On plates in 15 minutes. This also works with other fish / lamb chops/ pork chops.

Coming into stores now is a lot of bbq food on sticks that cooks quickly. Last night we had minted lamb kebabs with bowls of help yourself lettuce/ cucumber/ carrot / tomatoes. Then berries / sliced bananas with ice cream. It wasn’t very cheap nearly £20 from the Co-op but it fed five took less than 15 minutes to get on plates and felt like a Friday treat.

Can your older kids help you? Mines like to peel and chop carrot / cucumber sticks so we often have that with hummus on the side.

@Lookwhostalking25 I am sorry for your loss. This phase you are in now is temporary and although it feels like the new normal, it’s really just a transition phase. Going back to work after being widowed is a big change. Life will eventually settle again. So don’t feel guilty about doing whatever it takes to keep everyone fed. You are doing really well already, so do feel proud of yourself 💐

And rather than specific meal tips, my advice is to look after your own well-being. Get out with the kids, make new memories. Unless it’s a fun activity you can do with the kids, Hello Fresh and batch cooking are still time you have to invest. You have to weigh up if these things are worth your time right now. Maybe good quality ready meals and signing up the kids for hot meals at school are simpler for now. If you’ve gone from two adults sharing the load of domestic duties to one, particularly if your partner did most of the cooking, this will have a huge impact on the time you have available.

Remember also that you are the expert on your family’s needs. There are lots of good suggestions on this thread, what you’re going to need next is time and motivation to work through the suggestions and put some in place to try out.

Please reach out to family and friends to help you - maybe someone can take the kids for a few hours a week for a few weeks. I would if you were my friend, sister, cousin, etc.

And there’s a great organisation for young widows

What actual time do you have once you're at home and you've done chores and sorted out the children?
Evenings and weekends?

Sorry pressed post too soon by accident!

WAY - Widowed and Young are excellent for support if you haven’t already come across them https://www.widowedandyoung.org.uk/

(Name change)

OP, you are doing amazing. Obviously it’s not sustainable, but please don’t beat yourself up if you still order the odd takeaway - start slowly.

I have attached some meal planners from an organisation local to me, all very quick meals. Unfortunately the prices are a little out of date! 2 plans and 2 shopping lists/method lists in total.

Following on…

Second weekly planner

Method below

Sorry for your loss. Be kind to yourself and don't expect to make radical changes overnight, it can take a while to break habits.

I'm a single parent and on work days I use air fryer for freezer food or heat simple things baked potatoes or soup and sandwiches/wrap. Fresh pasta and supermarket sauces can be ready in 10mins too. I had got in habit of having lots of takeaways too but now we only get one every week or two. Saving so much money, feel healthier and now habit is broken don't miss it!

Method

Imagine it's not the cooking you can't face but the mental load of planning a week of meals. And the cleaning up. And being there in the kitchen where your husband used to be.

Go on task rabbit or similar and see if you can pay someone to fill your freeezer with a months worth of meals. Probably won't cost more than the takeaways and give you some breathing space to start doing 1-2 meals a week and build it yourself.

Meal plan some really simple meals for the week. Stick the plan on the fridge so you don't need to think about what you're making for tea. Don't worry too much about healthy meals right now, anything will be an improvement on take aways. I went through the same when I got a new job with a long commute, deciding what to make felt really overwhelming and I was so tired and felt I didn't have time to do anything other than take away but the meal planning really helped.
Some simple ideas:
Dried pasta with jar of tomato sauce, if your up for frying some mince or chicken you could add that, could also have a garlic bread in the oven whilst cooking.
Chicken nuggets/fish fingers and chips/waffles/wedges in air fryer and some beans or tinned peas in microwave.
Jacket potato, 10 mins in microwave then an hour in the oven whilst you get on with other stuff or they can be eaten from microwave if your not too bothered about them crisping. You could have pre cut salad with it. Tin of chilli, tin of beans, ready grated cheese.
Ready cut soup mixes, chuck in slow cooker in the morning.
Stir fry
Microwave rice and frozen veg, could add some grilled chicken, prawns, frozen chicken strips done in air fryer/oven
Ready made lasagne that you just stick in the oven, you can get other family ready meals too like stew and dumplings, cottage pie, pasta bake
Pasta salad, could make your own or just buy shop bought.

Bless you that sounds incredibly tough.

I love my slow cooker for things like this, you could make a big batch of bolognaise or there’s a child friendly curry in one of the what mummy makes books that you could probably find online.

Other quick and easy meals would be things like salmon & veg (asparagus, green beans, mini corn) baked in tin foil, pasta and sauce, omelette, stir fry or tray bake fajitas.

I don’t have three children clamouring to be fed, but one thing I have found really helps me to cook quickly is to use frozen food ingredients, so in my freezer I always have

chopped white onions,
chopped red onions
frozen garlic cubes
frozen ginger cubes
frozen peppers
frozen mash
frozen roasties
frozen yorkshires

other frozen vegetables are also available

i also buy blocks of cheese on special offer, then grate and freeze.

if you are not a very efficient cook ( I am a good cook but I am also lazy!) then it is often the prep that takes the time, buying frozen preprepped veg is obviously more expensive than fresh ( except for frozen garlic which is ridiculously cheap) but it is cheaper than takeaways and saves you precious time.

The other thing I would say is take the time to learn to make a good basic white sauce preferably with cheese in it, and a basic tomato sauce. You will then have the skills to make a huge number of dishes, cheese sauce for macaroni cheese, veg lasagne, or cauliflower cheese, tomato sauce to make spag bol, or to cook or serve with meatballs, fish or chicken.

Also , learn to cook rice, I use Jamie Oliver’s method which gives cooked rice in ten minutes with no faffing, just remember to set the timer and not to peep.

Working, single parent to 2 boys from babies onwards. Hats off to you. 3 children equals 3 times the work. It's taken me years to get into a groove of cooking. I used to love cooking and now feels like such a chore.

As much as hello fresh etc sounds great - I fully expect that my children would not eat the meals once I've gone to the effort of cooking them.

If I were you, I would carry on with the takeaways for now with zero guilt. They are fed and thriving and you are doing a grand job.

When the times right, you can start introducing a few home cooked meals here and there. I started with a roast on a sunday and the rest was just oven meals, mcdonalds drive through etc. Now I cook more regularly as I'm in a groove and I know what they like.

As your kids are young, you must have some time in the evenings once they are in bed.

Can you a) plan a food delivery and b) put aside one night or an afternoon at a weekend to batch cook?

Kids would love to help and they'd learn as well.

If you do an online delivery, lots of supermarkets have healthy recipes on their website and you can just 'add' the ingredients to your basket- it's easy peasy.

You've had masses of idea already about quick and easy meals that can be rustled up on 30 mins or cooked and frozen.

You know what you are bloody rocking it just getting through such a difficult time. Your children are getting are fed and loved. You have got this.

You can possibly switch to fresh sushi instead a few times a week. Cook is home made food - a mass order for the freezer! Stir fries from scratch are quicker than ordering a takeaway - that’s it pad it out with tons of fruit and veg

You are doing amazingly well op!

Start easy. Use the money saved on takeaways to get some kitchen tools. Stick blender. Electric blender/slicer/grater, can’t remember the name Russell Hobbs make them - makes adding veggies so much easier as the prep is fast and you can cut them to tiny sizes if there are any the kids often refuse. Sandwich maker. Some glass storage boxes with lids to keep leftovers in the fridge. Where possible get things that can go in the top rack of the dishwasher.

Get the kids to help make a huge spaghetti bolognese with lots of veg and red lentils at the weekend, have it that day, leave enough for another meal and freeze portions.

20 minute veg soup - slice up potatoes, onion, boil in stock and add in frozen broccoli florets. Blend with cream. Leftovers will last a few days.

cut veggies, fry in olive oil, add seasoning, a teaspoon of sugar, tomato paste and passata. Make enough for two days. Eat one day over pasta. Next day mix with pasta, cover with cheese and bake. Add a can of chickpeas if you don’t mind them.

toasted sandwiches and salad.

tomato soup - boil onion, tomatoes, stock and add a bit of cream if you want. Add some herbs if you want - get the kids to help choose snd plant them. Blend. Serve with cheese toasties.

keep a few pizzas in the freezer - will save a lot over ordering them and you can see the ingredients.

Look into tray bakes - they don’t need much attention while cooking.

Best wishes OP. It must be super tough. Do what you can and don’t beat yourself up.

I have go to quick meals when eldest is in clubs nuggets fish fingers pizza etc. If I’m working I’ll marinate chicken in the morning to stick in the oven or make a lasagne up in the morning and cook in the evening. It saves so much time

Are the kids getting a hot lunch at school? If so don’t feel obliged to cook a ‘proper’ hot dinner every evening. Things like beans on toast, scrambled egg on toast, cheese on toast are your friends! Mix up the bread; wrap, bagels, etc and plenty of cucumber, carrots, tomato’s, sweetcorn, broccoli. We do rainbow veg where the kids need to eat some of every colour for variety.

also veggies in front of the tv as soon as you get home to give you 30 mins to prepare without being pestered.

You’re doing great. . Xx

Cook meals are great for the lazy nights, and they do a healthy kids range too, which ensures they get some veg as a part of it. Expensive, but not anywhere near as expensive as takeaway (in these parts, anyway)