If you're a parent would you think this was ridiculous if I pulled you aside after school for this?

[L4815162342]

I work in a school.

A 5/6 year old today trod on a small bug. He did this on purpose.

I'd like to say it was because he didn't know better but this was half an hour after a lesson on looking after the environment and things we could do to care for nature. Lots was mentioned about animals, etc.

I pulled the child up and spoke to him about his behaviour. He essentially received the equivalent of a bad behaviour point as a result.

If you were pulled aside after school as a parent and told about this incident would you think it was ridiculous?

I know people have different views, some would draw the line at hurting an animal the size of a cat, for example, but wouldn't bat an eyelash at killing a spider.

@L4815162342

Depends! I was looking at a ladybird with a group of children, and one child seemed a quite intent on squishing it. This child also needs support empathising with other children - so if the squish was part of a bigger picture : e.g. I’m going to squish for attention, I’m going to squish and ignore what I’ve just been told : then of course tell the parent. But I’d focus more on the behaviour behind the bug squish than the bug squish.
And a parent dismissing a bug squish may happen, but a parent dismissing a lack of empathy in their child or condoning defiant behaviour shouldn’t happen.

I think it can be confusing for a child. It’s ok to pick a daisy, but not other flowers. It’s ok to squish a mosquito but not other bugs. Why? Because some bugs/flowers are deemed more valuable/nicer/prettier to humans than others?? And who are we to decide who lives/dies in this world based on what pleases/displeases us!!!

As a parent I would definitely want to be told. The most important moral for my family in life is to be kind to other living creatures. At that age he is perfectly capable of understanding that.

It's hard to say given I kill the aphids sucking the life force of out my plants with my bare hands. Spiders and worms get a pass from me but flies and cockroaches are fair game.

I'm a vegan and love animals and I would think it was ridiculous. A child squashing an insect is not a future psychopath. If it was part of a pattern of worrying behaviour it would be different.

My four year old pulled a worm in two infront of other children and made them cry. He was reprimanded at school and at home. Just not acceptable behaviour. It was a straightforward life lesson and we moved on.

In my home its me or the bug i will take them down.
In summer im flapping a fly smacker around.
I have already got my fly/bug stickers up.
Some nights its war with moths and daddy long legs.😂

I would ignore you tbh, in the context of it being an insect rather than a bigger animal. You also don’t know what goes on at home and what the kid has seen.

My DH killed a bunch of ants in this week in my house as we had an infestation.

I killed a spider a few months ago that crawled over my face while I was asleep in bed.

I'd want my child to be told off for this, and I'd want them to explain why its wrong. I'd expect the teacher to inform me, so I can keep an eye on them in the garden.

A child deliberately killing a bug is very different to an adult not wanting an ant infestation in their home

We’re vegan, so would want to know as being kind to animals will definitely be part of how we bring DD up.

Spider that crawled over your face while you sleep.
Shudder.😬
If that was my room it would have been turned it upside down i dont think id have much of a room left TBH.
While screaming DIE DEVIL BUG my neighbours hate me in the summer.

I wouldn't expect to hear about it unless it was part of a bigger picture. I guess you would be extra vigilant to look out for signs - as I would as a parent.

This is bonkers. In my house we constantly have to kill mosquitoes and ants, otherwise we’re covered in huge bites and our food is infested.

This.

I would expect the teacher to quietly take the child aside and gently remind him/her that the living creature had as much right to life as he did and there is no reason to kill it. I would remind him of the important job the creature does in its life cycle which indirectly affects …helps all of us.
At 6, a child is able to take that in but may still need a lot of reminders. Linking a class room lesson to real life situation is not always immediate for some six year olds.

This incident is not worthy of a bad behaviour point in my opinion. But instead, it’s an opportunity for the teacher to help and guide the child further. And keep an eye on his development if possible.

Some children are terrified of insects and need help to be tolerant of them.
Some parents will have modelled poor behaviour by killing insects with ant powder, fly repellent and by killing spiders, stamping on ants etc. The teacher should have had this awareness that not all parents have the same attitude towards bugs if they themselves haven’t had that sort of education.

One lesson on this is often not enough. It takes lots of gentle reminders and conversations for a child to suddenly develop empathy especially if there is little or no tolerance for nuisance insects in the home.

I would expect the teacher to mention to all parents that as part of the lesson, all children are being reminded to be tolerant and curious about the life cycles of insects. I would expect that unless the child were showing a tendency to be cruel in other areas too, this little incident on its own would not be worthy of a special mention to a parent and should not be thought of as bad behaviour …rather as an unthinking habit that could easily be helped.

Yes, without a further back-story about the child and if this is a first incident of it’s kind, I can understand why a parent might consider it ridiculous to be pulled aside to be told her child had received a bad behaviour point.

What a ridiculous comment. I was raised in the country, as was my Dad, his parents, and generations before that. He taught me respect for nature, that harming creatures for no purpose is cruel and wasteful. Killing for food, or hygiene or to prevent damage to property or crops is one thing, (and should be done as quickly and humanely as possible) Deliberately stamping on a creature because you find it amusing is completely different.

I would make a distinction between deliberately killing a creature for a reason eg it's a parasite/health hazard/ annoying/ food and killing one for no reason at all just because you can.

I kill wasps who hang around our food because my kids are scared of them and have been stung. I kill snails and slugs and caterpillars who destroy plants I'm trying to grow. I spent 15 minutes last night trying to catch and release a fly that was buzzing round and preventing my daughter going to sleep, eventually killed it because it wouldn't be caught or fly out. I catch spiders and other harmless bugs in the house and put them outside. I would never see a bug on the floor and just kill it. In my experience most small children are fascinated by bugs and I do think squashing one deliberately for no reason is to be criticised. Not sure it warrants speaking to parents tho.

I killed 2 bugs yesterday. I'd think you where weird and laugh about you to friends

This thread has just made me reflect on my own hypocrisy. My nearly 4 yo knows to be kind to worms and bugs etc, we do nature walks and are farmers so she understands how important insects are. Hopefully she wouldn’t squash one, I don’t think. However we have a bluebottle fly problem (and obviously you can’t have them freely roaming in the kitchen) and we swat them. So she probably would squash a fly! So without context, maybe her teacher would think she was being raised wrongly or was a psychopath.

A bug?! Yes I'd think it was ridiculous. I kill any spider that sets 'foot' in my house! Regularly kill ants/wasps if necessary. Complete overreaction.

My point is that the child may have seen the parent do it in this context and be copying. Literally had to stamp on some ants.

Well done. I wish more adults would do that.

I remember me and my brother putting some syrup in a saucer and placing it near an ants nest. Then we watched the ants get stuck in the syrup. Neither me nor my brother have turned into serial killers 😁

Yeah if i see a spider normally, i would do the whole glass and card thing and put it outside. But this one signed its death warrant.

I'd wonder if you quite alright. Spiders and moths in my house meet their end. I promote biodiversity outside but kill home invaders. If you drive a car you probably kill many bugs each day. The school will almost certainly promote the killing of headline.