Why do people swear sooo much and why does it bother me?

[lightsandtunnels]

Obviously no one can say why something bothers another person but bear with me for this one!
Today DH and I went out to a lovely country pub for a drink after work and sat by a beautiful quiet river in the sunshine. Two tables were close to us. One with two guys around early 30s. Talking to each other and using fing (variations of) as a constant adjective, verb or whatever in their conversation. The other table was a smaller group of men and women age between early 40s and late 60s I'd say. They were worse. Talking loudly but just general conversation with each other, not arguments or anything but fing constantly being used again and again as an adjective, exclamation, verb or whatever.

This really really bothered me! I hate hearing language like this and so audibly. I find it offensive and rude and at best it's just lazy. We actually left earlier than we had planned to and I had to stop myself from saying something to both groups (for those of you about to tell me I should just leave the situation.) I don't really know why it bothers me so much as it's just a word and I tried to have an internal dialogue with myself to just chill but I found it really horrible to hear. I've had this several times usually in pubs or restaurants and I hate it.

fwiw I do swear myself, in certain situations, like being scared suddenly or annoyed but not in general conversation in public.

Is it just me? AIBU?

YABU - get a f*king grip lights it's perfectly fine
YANBU - I hate it too

I agree. It’s gross and antisocial. Not something I usually hear when on nice holidays.

Or amongst my friends

I think the same, unfortunately for me I’m Scottish 🤣

Fuck knows.

Doesn't really bother me, it's just words when you think about it, unless it's used in an aggressive way?

I love swearing and I swear regularly. But it makes me uneasy when I hear groups of drunk people swearing constantly, especially men. It just sounds aggressive to me, even when I’m fairly sure it’s just exuberant. I didn’t always feel this way, so it’s one of the many things I’m attributing to menopause.

I agree with you - don’t mind the odd swear word in a small group / at home / middle
of nowhere but when out in public it seems to be rife and it’s a sign of our continued lower standards. In the past someone would remind the people swearing that they were in company ( think ‘ladies present’)
As for Scotland the c word is used as a term of endearment- almost every other sentence in our local pub. It gets on my wick frankly. I am no shy retiring wall flower but we have lost our way.

I swear a lot when I’m at home, I have a stressful life and I find it’s cathartic but I don’t like it when people swear aggressively out in public.

I couldn't care less if people swear, as long as they're not doing so to express aggression. They're just words, and they only have the power to offend if you choose to give them that power.

Very common in Ireland, it didn't bother me at all. I'd probably be a bit mindful around children, but that's it. For me the issue is that they were loud, that's the real problem.

I agree with you. I think it makes people sound really stupid, like they don’t have a good vocabulary. It makes people sound rough, I really hate it.

Fuck if I know.

I wish I swore less. It becomes such a habit once you start and it’s something I’ve become very aware of lately.

I F and blind like no tomorrow but I KNOW it doesn’t “suit me” it’s just so fluent. But when DP does it especially in public I do cringe and I don’t know why.

I think I say fuck fucking shit bastard cunt twat tit prick knob arsed etc in conversation wayyyyyy too much but it sort of switches off when I’m say at shops for example. Although not at work. It’s really frustrating 😂

Actually I swore at my cat this morning. She sneezed in my face and I gently whispered “fuck off my love.”

I'm definitely not a fan of swearing, I find it really aggressive. But equally I get its how some people apparently let off steam - or so I'm told.

When it really bothers me is when I have my young children with me, in a local restaurant in the daytime, or in a supermarket etc, and people are loudly swearing and then my girls go 'mummy what does that mean'. Its like smoking, don't do it with children nearby

I swear, but often think it comes down to the people you're with, for example, at work everyone f's and blinds, so I find myself doing it too, but then when with my parents or whatever I never do.

Swearing is only an issue when it's directed at someone. "The fucking phone wont work" is fine. "Fuck you" is not.

I won't swear when talking directly to kids but I'm not going to change how I speak just in case a random passing child might overhear me.

Totally agree, they are just words, some choose to use them , others don’t.

I hate the c*t and bas**d words but other than that I don’t mind people swearing, but then again there is a time and a place.

i wouldn’t swear in front of families or my mum! 😂😂

Oh for fucks sake. Hardly the same as smoking, they can’t fucking get ill from passive swearing

I remember when I was younger at work I unknowingly swore within earshot of a child, the mother came running over explaining how offensive it was to her child’s ears. I told her that child will get a short sharp shock when they start school and see the real world.

Yes this is kind of my dilemma really! I'm usually quite good at dealing with difficult things/people/situations and not giving them the time in my head/heart to hurt or bother me. But this swearing does bother me.

The Scottish swearing others have mentioned did make me laugh as I am half Scottish myself. Oddly enough, swearing in a Scottish accent doesn't sound quite so bad!
'Get tae fuck' being a good example of not having the same level of offence to me at all! 😅

I’m known for my verbosity and as a wordsmith, but I bloody love swearing. I think it enhances conversation in the right context. I would never use it aggressively.

I think if you’re twitching over casual ‘fucks’ being bandied about, you need to get over it or avoid public places.

I hate swearing. Why use those words? Unnecessary,crass and often a reflection of someone's intellect unfortunately.

I agree. I think we have lost our way with what is and isn't acceptable in many ways!

I really get annoyed at this. I do not see why is it impossible to express your thoughts without an offesive language in public - where other people can hear you (in private everyone can say what they want). I also would prefer if kids did not hear such vocabulary and it did not become normalised. There are plenty of words in the english language.
I also do not see the need for swearing in films and tv programmes.

haha, well I quite like going out so I think a bit of therapy may be in order!