to feel fed up? Life is just too busy

[Stressymadre]

Probably a bit silly really but want to ask and see if anyone can see how I can perhaps balance my life out?
I'm a single parent of two (8 and 12), they see dad eow and 1 night a week, some time in holidays. I work full time, pressurised role, 40 hours a week but mostly from home (couple trips a month). Also have a dog.
I used to be really fit and I need exercise for stress/MH reasons but at the moment, i just can barely fit any exercise in at all and just feel constantly on the go and I'm just exhausted and I'm getting fat and feel disgusting.
So I wake at 6.15, work from 7-8, do school run, work from 08:45-17:30, with lunch break used to do schools runs. I also have to fit in taking kids to after school classes hence the early start. Finish work, do club pick ups, cook dinner, help with homework, tv with eldest and go to bed when he does at 09:30. Rinse and repeat. Oh and I have to fit the dog walk in too.
On the days kids are with Dad, I go to gym or for a run by that's hardly very often. I'd like to maybe do a 30 min DVD workout or run in the morning but that means getting up at 5...
So, any suggestions? Have a cleaner once a fortnight but can't afford any other help. I earn well but current mortgage rates mean half my take home pay goes on that alone.
I'm so tired 😫

Canicross with the dog?

Actually, it’s know!

Oh dear.
Devoid of emotion.
Here, have another:
Life is busy? You lay down as you make your bed.
This is how I was brought up, therefore I made sure my life would not be busy.

This is a really mean spirited reply.

If you are working from home get a walking treadmill so you can walk and be on zoom meetings and team calls / training whilst at work. A lot of my colleagues do it. We have desks with standing up options too so it's quite easy to do.

I’m in a similar situation but I don’t WFH so have the commute too.

If I WFH I would do the workout in the morning (either getting up earlier or just after the school run) and then I would take the dog for a walk on my lunch break (the walk will do you good after sitting for hours too).

It is so difficult to find time for yourself when you have to do everything.

Perhaps try and make a routine of just doing it 2 or 3 times a week to start with.

HIIT might be a good idea. I often just do 10 solid minutes when I can. I also do weird things like squats while the water boils. Calf lifts waiting for my kettle. I try and find a few minutes here and there when I'm time poor. Which is often. Lol

The time you used to spend walking the dog you can know do exercise.

Walking the dog is exercise.

It defeats the point because OP wants to increase the amount of exercise she does, not reduce it.

A better solution would be to walk the dog on the school run and then do her workout DVD on her lunch break.

Or walking the dog on the lunch break and fitting in the DVD at a different time.

Why do you go to bed at 9.30? You wake up at 6.15, that's nearly 9 hours in bed! There's the time you are wasting.

Is there anyone with similar age children near you to share the taking to school and/or collecting with?

Similar question about to the activities?

Otherwise, does the distance and/or transport options allow for consideration for the children to do any of these journeys without you? If not now, then perhaps sometime in the relatively close future, which wouldn't help right now but would be something to look forward to if they were possible in the near future

Working out whether you could cut work hours and adapt finances & lifestyle to cope is worth dwelling on. There's only so much mileage in "using time more efficiently" and it takes its toll in stress due to the overhead in required thinking and planning it takes

It wasn't meant in a mean spirited way?

I just think that time is likely being wasted in dribs and drabs here and there which give no benefit and with a little organisation and prioritisation then time could be harnessed in bigger, more usable chunks.

But I'm a logical thinker and a natural organiser, so that's how I rock.

Are you a single mom too?

Your schedule doesn’t look bad at all. It looks quite normal so I think the feeling of overwhelmed is coming from somewhere else.
Going to bed at 9:30 seems odd. Also your suggestion of getting up at 5 to exercise is excessive, you don’t need 1 hour 15 mins to exercise. If you really are going to bed at 9:30 then you could get up half an hour earlier and exercise then or whilst your kids are at clubs.

Eh nobody in the world looks after kids and works 40 hours with ease!! Op best of luck, hopefully there’s some suggestions which help

I don't see how the suggestions to give up the dog would help. They bring so many positives to your life and don’t ask for much in way of time, only a walk everyday. If people on here (one poster) hate dogs, don’t project this onto the OP and try and push her into giving it up as if that will solve everything.

I’m sorry it does sound hard and relentless for you. Is there are reason you ex can’t increase the amount of time he has the kids? EOW and one night a week isn’t much at all and seems like he gets to be a part time parent while the bulk of everything falls on you. Why can’t he help more to give you a breather and do some of the clubs/pickups? And does he organise/take them to their appointments as well sometimes?

Also can your 12 year old get themselves to school or help with the cooking sometimes? if you have a simple meal a couple of nights a week they could make it while you do some exercise or walk the dog? Do the children help with the pots and pick up after themselves in between the cleaner coming etc, if not maybe this will help too. Small things but might just make it easier for you to have an extra hour to yourself here and there.

@stayathomer they are 8 and 12 though so the hardest part should be behind, I expect most parents work full time at these ages.

I actually thought I’d written this except you fit in a lot more exercise than I do!

And I don’t have a dog, and my kids ages are slightly different- but the amount of busy-ness sounds the same!

I said several, not lots!

They got carried away in Covid lockdown - I did ask one whether she really thought it was a great idea but apparently they’d agreed who was doing what. A few weeks in and the novelty had worn off . I think the others were more ambivalent or reluctant, but got persuaded/railroaded into it.

One has managed to palm the dog off on the PIL.

The people I know who are happy with their dogs have had dogs for much longer - but for the 2020 ones it hasn’t worked out well.

@Maray1967 ok several then, not lots ..... 🤷‍♀️!

OP is a decent person the dogs staying, you know several very odd people.

@Bignanna actually you're wrong!!

The time you used to spend walking the dog you can know do exercise.

So OP can know do exercise or now do exercise?

🤔

Could DH have the kids two nights in the week, then alternative weekends.

Drop some kids activities.

Prepare double or triple meals each night and freeze one or two family meals

Drop a day of work

Do couch to 10k with the dog

Walk or cycle to school pick up

Thanks everyone for the suggestions. My 12 year is pretty good tbh. Gets himself to and from school, helps out at home etc. He won't walk the dog unfortunately as the dog was attacked a few years ago and it's freaked him out. Maybe in a year or so he might be up for it. It's the youngest that I have to get to and from school which takes up a bit chunk of the day.
I do run twice a week or so (I used to be a runner so can still do 10k without dying, it's just about slow!). I suppose I miss it.
Unfortunately ex will not do any additional time at all, I have actually asked. He has no interest. And I can't cut back hours at work as my mortgage is bonkers high.
I am definitely going to sort meals, and maybe look at dog walker xx