To find this universal credit situation unfair

[happypickle]

Myself and DH have 1 child and pay the equivalent of a 2nd mortgage on nursery. We are talking about having a 2nd child but we have to wait to be at a point where our first would be on their way into school as we could not afford to pay for 2 nursery places.

In laws who are in universal credit, have no such constraints and are in a position to try and conceive before us as SIL does not work and is a SAHM to 6 month old. They get a fortune in UC and have their rent paid and actually have more disposable income than us in professional jobs.

Don't know what I want from this post but just feel it's so unfair that we are constrained by finances but those on benefits are free to plan their family exactly as they want and they will have the ideal 2 years age gap which we would have loved to have done.

as a low income, working single parent without financial support from my ex partner, I was always baffled when my friends with mortgages and secure housing seemed miffed that I was getting help with my rent through benefits. Given the choice I would much rather have a secure home and not be throwing money at a landlord. Even if it meant a difference in my spare money each month! I would give my all to have a safe home, mortgage and be able to change my horrible carpets. (And before I get attacked for this (as is so common on MN) yes I am doing my best to change my situation!).

Kindly - get over it and focus on what you do have. You could always sell your house and rent privately, with all the benefits of horrible carpets, landlord inspections, woodchip wallpaper and lack of living security. Fancy it? Thought not.

I completely agree op @happypickle it is not fair at all and nothing anyone has put here has convinced me otherwise.

Your choices now should pay off in the future. Pension contributions, mortgage free, career progression.

Living on benefits is hard and risky. They are really always at the whim of political policy anything could change at any time. Being on benefits is far less secure and you aren't really in control of your own fate.

I'm sure anyone on benefits now worries about what political parties will do to the welfare state.

Universal credit constrains you in various ways. It is more generous to those with children and I think that's the right approach for the welfare of the family. She will be expected to find work after a certain time. If you're not entitled to UC overall you will be financially better off than your SIL over the course of your life times. What I take from your post is childcare needs to be more subsidised not that UC should be leas generous.

Tufton Street must be working overtime just now. It’s relentless.

I totally with you op . Benefits should not be to support a lifestyle choice of being a SAHM .

This

A friend is currently panicking as her landlord isn't renewing her tenancy. Both her and her DH work but the private rental market is so competitive at the moment. It's not easy finding somewhere especially as some landlords don't want tenants with DC.

If my friend and her DH were on benefits they'd be in even more difficulty, as so few landlords take benefits. (I haven't read the whole thread but my first thought was OP's in laws have a social home,as she says they get their full rent paid. In private rentals there's a LHA benefit cap, often falling short of market rents).

We're so grateful to have a mortgage. It's a struggle sometimes but we were so glad to escape the worry and stress of renting. Had to move too many times and hated the insecurity and panic.

When the kids get to school age, won’t she be expected to get a job? At that point you’ll be further on in your career and will be way better off.

Absolute cringe. Exact same post just wondering differently.

I appreciate that but you said £60K in benefits, for that to be the case there has to be mitigating factors. Unless their rent is fully accommodated and it’s 5k a month which seems unlikely. To give a ‘they get 60k’ without context just feeds into the wrong information that life on UC is a gimmie. Yes there are some who are not financially struggling on benefits (I’m one) but context is everything and most people who claim are not living a gilded life. UC in particular exists because pay doesn’t equal cost of living.

It is fair in that the rules are there and these are the rules.

One day you will own a property. They won't.

There was none of this when I raised mine so I was dirt poor even though I had my children as half of a couple and now rent at 61.

Is that fair? No. Have times changed? Yes.

Same posting pattern too. Thread started first thing in the morning, OP posted 3/4 times early on in the thread then never returned.

It's hard to compare really. They're probably not as well off as you think.

We had 2 DSs 15m apart. We used a childminder when the 2nd came instead of nursery due to the price difference. It was still a fortune but not as much.

Personally, I wanted to go back to work, pay in to a pension, show my sons that mums can work hard too, and knew the struggle would only be for a few years.

Op life isn't fair but you can make the same choices as your in-laws if you prefer and have your 2nd child sooner. Comparing yourself in this way will only cause you unnecessary upset.

Exactly this! You’d probably get help them too! If you’re both professionals your DH should have a good waste to support you and two DC.

The system is ineffective. Those who really need it, cannot understand it, cannot battle with it, it is not enough to meet their needs. Those who play the system, boast about it, have extra income, have nice houses for "free".

It's the system that's broken. On the surface it seems unfair, but that's because the second type of people are the one who get heard more.

Plus, I'd rather be secure in having my mortgage paid off and knowing I have retirement and a pension to look forward to. Benefits will end - but again, it's because of the second type of people, not the first.

Although I have DC, and also think it's important to support all children (as regardless of what any of us think of their parents life choices or circumstances, which are often unplanned) it's not the child's fault. However I don't think it's right that childless and childfree people should be financially worse off and facing extra hardship.

Also, and I'm not sure how to express this without coming across badly but perhaps sometimes more generous benefits when there's DC (rather than a fairer more equal system) possibly encourages the problem OP feels resentful of. It might perhaps encourage a (minority) of people who possibly choose to have DC as a 'lifestyle'. Although who can blame them when no DC potentially means even worse financial struggle and insecurity? Statistics show that single childless people especially those on benefits are the most financially disadvantaged group in society.

If single people are unfairly penalised, I don't know but it might seem appealing perhaps to have DC especially if their job is low paid and they have few opportunities for better work, or if they're out of work (not necessarily by choice) and on benefits.

I'm not suggesting people with DC should be penalised, definitely not, and we shouldn't want a race to the bottom anyway, but instead the system should be fairer and more equal. Childless/Childfree people should have enough to live on too. Especially as it's not always a choice (a friend and her DH, who are financially ok in case it's relevant, are currently going through fertility treatment and really struggling emotionally with not having DC).

Yay, I'm living the high life on the poverty line. I have no job. I'm a SAHM. I spend all my time meeting other people's needs. All my qualifications and training are now irrelevant. I have totally de-skilled. I have no private pension. I'm practically unemployable. My mind is like mush. I have no self confidence. I miss people. I miss working. When my youngest does go to school and I get a job I won't actually earn anything because UC will deduct 60p from every £1 I earn off the UC. So I'll be working but still living in poverty but hopefully my MH and confidence will improve. That's if I can juggle everything. But on the plus side at least people won't be judging me for being on benefits. I'm sure they'll judge for something else instead.

I hear you OP however concentrate on your family, career and home. You will be in a better place in a few years. The security of your own home is so important long term.

That said, all those saying 'you'll have a home, mortgage paid off' . What will the masses of people currently getting their rent paid do? Surely many of them will not have increased their income sufficiently to replace all the benefits they get with having children? Will they continue to get their rent paid or will they be homeless? Will they just move to other benefits and still get their rent paid and if they are in social housing be able to hand their fully paid for by taxpayers to their children?

I am genuinely interested in what is going to happen as all these renters - private and social housing lose the benefits they get for having children!

I work full time and can barely afford my rent and it's not even that much considering what it's like for other people. I really don't know how renters are coping. Also UC has a cap for the rent, for me it would be £503 a month, my rent is £700 and that's low compared to others round here, it doesn't matter if my rent was £1000 I'd still get £503 towards rent, the rest comes out of the whole allowance you're awarded.

A fortune in benefits, really?

I can assure you they are not "getting a fortune" on UC. A couple with one child (even if the child and each parent have disabilities) will not get what anybody would consider anything like a fortune ffs. Even if he is also working or even if he's not, they still will not be getting the equivalent of two adults working full time at minimum wage. I know all of the UC rates and earning limits. They're not getting a fortune.

What is with all the benefits-bashing threads lately?

This.
You are building assets and your in laws aren’t.

Different choices which are also available to you.

No, not really !!

Rishi’s plan is working isn’t it ? Divide and rule is alive and well, and living on MN !!