To think i shouldn’t have to pay for her therapy l!?

[Auntieterrible]

Long story short!!
I separated from my husband last year. My sil (exh’s) sister had a dad and she has found our separation really hard to come to terms with (she is 10) none of friends parents are separated, so this has blown her mind I suppose with how relationships can change. She is now an anxious mess about the possibility of her own parents separating. Dsil is at the end of her thether and is worried. She blames me (because I left the marriage) and she has messaged me saying dn needs therapy of some sort and I should be paying as it’s all my fault! I gave my own dc to look after, I have money for their therapy as and when they need it (not needed as of yet) Aibu to think DN’s struggle of not my responsibility? Please go easy.

“Has a dd” not “had a dad”

Tell Sil to go forth and multiply 😂

Forward the message to your ex... It's his dn..

@Foggymcfogson true but he didn’t want to separate and blamed me too

I wouldn't even respond

That is actually so ridiculous that it is actually funny!

Google “narcissistic”.

You're right, it is not your responsibility to pay for her therapy, if DSIL wants her to have therapy then she needs to source it herself.

She needs to get a grip on reality. Relationships end and it’s not anyone else’s fault if she can’t handle it. She can get her own therapy.

Most big employers have employee assistance or she can get a GP referral if she can’t afford to pay.

Honestly I started typing a response to try and rationalize SILs demand but no there’s no point … this is in no way your responsibility

well the kid was going to find out someday that sometimes couples split up.

almost all my kids friends parents aren’t together so I find it quite surprising that she’s gone almost all the way through primary school not having experienced this yet

Not your responsibility at all, how ridiculous.

No, you have no obligation to look After your SIL's DD's anxiety. I wonder whether she's an anxious child to begin with, because it sounds like SIL is also quite anxious. Perhaps SIL should get some therapy.

How strange. Whatever the reasons for the break up of the marriage, it's an issue between you, your ex and any children of your own.

If you have children, then I would respond politely as you may still have contact with her from time to time, But if you have no children and no plans to stay in touch, then pass her concerns to your ex.

Your SIL should see if they do ‘buy one get one free’ at the local therapist office - she is being very unreasonable and maybe could do with talking to someone herself if she thinks this is a reasonable request!! Her poor DD having such a melodramatic mother, no wonder she isn’t coping with your news.

Obviously not your fault OR your responsibility. I would not even dignify that nonsense with a response.

I’d just reply ‘Haha, good one’ and block her number.

she is a chancer
pass it on to your ex agree

Surely she's not being serious? Just a comment one makes - I doubt she actually thinks you should.

Well I’m so glad everyone agrees!! I was feeling awfully guilty to be honest

Presumably there's an argument to be made that it's your ex's fault really unless you left him because you just fell out of love or cheated or whatever. Based on his and his families behaviour leads me to believe that they aren't the easiest family to live with though.

Best answer is to disengage/ignore though as tempting as it is to laugh and point.

Insane entitlement. Do not respond!

Children generally don't have crisies over something like this unless they already have delicate mental health or it's been built up into a huge thing by ex's family rather then a gentle 'uncle and aunty won't be living together anymore but you will still see your cousins lots' etc. is SIL and ex's family prone to dramatics?

Perhaps you could pay for you SIL as well, and consider paying for any other family members that might also be struggling during this difficult time…

@Cerialkiller i fell out of love 😔

Jesus she needs therapy because her uncle has separated from his wife? If she’s reacted that badly there is was something very wrong before. It’s not a usual reaction!