To think i shouldn’t have to pay for her therapy l!?

[Auntieterrible]

Long story short!!
I separated from my husband last year. My sil (exh’s) sister had a dad and she has found our separation really hard to come to terms with (she is 10) none of friends parents are separated, so this has blown her mind I suppose with how relationships can change. She is now an anxious mess about the possibility of her own parents separating. Dsil is at the end of her thether and is worried. She blames me (because I left the marriage) and she has messaged me saying dn needs therapy of some sort and I should be paying as it’s all my fault! I gave my own dc to look after, I have money for their therapy as and when they need it (not needed as of yet) Aibu to think DN’s struggle of not my responsibility? Please go easy.

@Rookangaroo4 she is quite sensitive and an only child so i suppose there is that

Ah ignore me then. He shouldn't be bad mouthing you though, I hope he hasn't been doing that In front of your niece.

@Cerialkiller I don’t think he’s been badmouthing me but I think just outwardly upset 😢

I feel sorry for the girl, how has she been bought up to be so upset by something like this?

Not your responsibility though.

That's very unreasonable of SIL. Maybe her DD needs therapy regardless, and she's just trying to convince you it's your fault, in the hope that you'll pay for it.

Sounds like SIL is just trying to find a way to make you feel guilty and blame you for somethings that’s not your fault because she doesn’t know how to deal with it herself

That is unbelievable. She is talking twaddle

Crikey imagine what will happen when she finds out Santa isn’t real!

This poor child is possibly the most sheltered kid in the Uk. I suspect she has a “mum problem” - my own kids didn’t bat an eyelid when I explained their aunt had left my db (she shagged the next door neighbour, emptied £200k out of my db’s joint accounts, and ran off!).

Just block your exDSIL and don’t reply

This. I didn't even know someone could be this entitled.

If anyone needs therapy it's your SIL... What a ridiculous request.

The woman sounds absolutely batty. I agree with suggesting your niece sounds like she needs therapy for apparently needing therapy for her uncles divorce. Or suggest parenting classes to sil as she’s clearly gone wrong somewhere

No way should you pay, it is the parents responsibility. Did she just say it in anger and not really mean it.
Also your marriage is none of her business. She should keep out of it and look to help her daughter not to be so sensitive.

You’re allowed to leave a relationship that you are not happy with. Look after yourself. Let your ex look after himself and his family.

Staying together for the kids is one thing. Staying together for someone else’s kids is another! SIL is being extremely dramatic, which I suspect is now affecting her daughter’s mental health. Sounds like they could all do with some therapy, just not on your money! Xx

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

^ send her that

@Haydenn thank you. I have a lot of guilt, it wasn’t the easiest decision and my ex is very upset and angry. Understandably I suppose.

To be fair, some children can get overly worried that things they have heard about might happen to them. A lot of children might worry about a parent dying if there was a death in the family. So I don't necessarily think this is odd, or a reflection on SILs parenting.

But expecting you to pay for therapy to deal with it is bonkers.

Her being worried... normal
Her needing therapy because of it...odd
Expecting auntie to pay for it....fucking nuts

In the basis that most people think that this is ridiculous, it does seem that your Sil knows which buttons to press. I'm guessing that they have allowed her to witness too much angst. It will pass, but not your responsibility.

Omg! Absolutely do not pay for it. What a bizarre request

Would they prefer you to stay in a relationship where you were miserable and they can pay for your counselling?

I'd really tell the mum off, what an absolute not right trying to blame her DD's feelings onto you

my ex is very upset and angry. Understandably I suppose

I’ll bet that you didn’t divorce him for fun and really tried to make the marriage work before realising it wasn’t. If that’s the case your ex really needs to own up to his part in it.

I was very upset when my big sis dumped her much loved bf. Hey, I got over it.

The only response to this should be ..... 🤣

This child obviously has some mental health issues and now you are being blamed for causing them which is absolutely ridiculous. I know a similar child and everyone has to tiptoe around them and it's very tiresome at times but in fairness her mum is getting much better at recognising that her DD has a problem and no one else caused it.

I'm really upset that she asked you! Tell her she should pay for my therapy as it's her fault.