To expect fat nurses to have some insight?.

[Vikingess]

Just had a routine health check today at my GP surgery. Two nurses - both considerably overweight - dispensing advice on diet. I
am not overweight -AIBU to expect health professionals to demonstrate the the standards they recommended or at least admit to falling short.

They didn't fat shame her. They gave her appropriate advice about diet and lifestyle which is the purpose of the routine health check appointments.

Not read all ten zillion replies. I’m a registered nurse. I always say as a nurse you end up as one of three things at some point (or all three); dumpy, depressed and diabetic. It’s a perk of the job.

I have managed to wean myself off the anti depressants I started because of my job. These made me gain weight. I’ve never been massive but I’m definitely carrying more than I would like.

If you are full time bedside nursing, we look after others but tend to neglect ourselves. I get up for work at 5:30am and I’m not back until 9pm. There is no “me” time between shifts, and physically I don’t have the energy to always exercise properly, or eat properly. I do what I can but it’s not what a person with a more normal schedule could do.

Most of us flip between days and nights. Most of us also work more than full time to make ends meet. A lot of us are also big fat hypocrites, and like a drink or two on the days we get off. In fact, the healthcare professional is probably one of the worse for drinking and smoking. Can you blame us though, honestly.

Not making excuses as there is a difference between carrying some extra meat and being absolutely massive. But just trying to paint a picture of why nurses can’t always practice what they preach. Come spend a week with me in A&E or ICU you’ll see why.

'Question - what do you fat bashers actually want from us? Does it make you feel good to continually put people down when you have no idea of an individual’s circumstances? And people wonder why fat people feel like shit and are depressed or turn to food for comfort.'

There isn't any fat bashing, fat shaming, fat haterz. Just many pointing out that yes it isn't easy to reduce the amount you eat, we know it isnt something exclusive to some people.. Nothing to do with 'luck' though as a pp suggested. We could all eat too much but if we do we will all be obese!

I will support anyone to develop strategies to help eat healthily but I cannot go along wirh this constant victim 'it's not my fault' narrative and 'diets don't work' 🙄.

There is fat bashing. The fact that there are threads like this nearly every day is fat bashing. Why does there need to be this constant rehashing of the same thing?

Diets don’t work. As I keep pointing out, but you’re refusing to take your blinkers off, that video explains why. But you won’t agree with that because it won’t help you with your feeling superior to admit you’re wrong.

And how is it my fault? I tried for 20 years to control my weight (despite never being anywhere near overweight prior to this). And then I ended up with my eating disorder. How. Is. That. My. Fault?!

Edited - oh and of course it’s luck. It’s a privilege to be able to afford nutritious food and have the ability, time and education to cook well. This is why there is a lot of obesity in less affluent areas. Why can you not understand that just because something is the case for you, does not mean it’s the case for someone else?

The OP states, "Two nurses - both considerably overweight - dispensing advice on diet. I am not overweight."

Why dispense diet advice if they think it's not required? I mean, I know that my DD shouldn't run across a road, carry a knife, have unprotected sex - but I don't tell her this every day because she already knows it. Health appointments are so hard to get, and so oversubscribed, surely it makes sense to dispense the advice you think is required, and would be of personal use, for that particular patient?

Although, I apologise in advance, as I have never been able to make an appointment with my GP or the practice nurse, so I have absolutely no idea what goes on in a health check in the UK. In other countries I've lived in the advice is targeted to the patient i.e. HCP's wouldn't advise slim patients about diets, as it's clearly not required, just as my doctor never talked to me about lung cancer, because I've never smoked. It makes sense to advise the patient as best you can on their particular circumstances, rather than just rolling out general advice (which anyone can find on the internet). Apologies again if the general advice is the UK way, though.

Nurses are human like the rest of us i couldn't care less what they look like or do in their own time. Do you also judge health care professionals who smoke, drink and take drugs.

Why did they feel you needed nutrition advice? Do you have a history of eating disorders?

'There is fat bashing. The fact that there are threads like this nearly every day is fat bashing. Why does there need to be this constant rehashing of the same thing?'

There are threads every day because it's a massive problem and a drain on the NHS. With few people taking responsibility just repeating the same old not my fault excuses.

Eating disorders are of course different and I'm sorry for what you have endured. However not everyone has an ED, or an addiction, or on meds that just make them pile on pounds. There is a lot of delusion around this subject but sensitive language is needed, we can see how defensive obese people get.

@Zimunya Diet advice is not slimming advice. It is advice on what you eat. Perhaps as you refer to other countries you misunderstand the meaning of diet and think it merely relates to "going on a diet" which means slimming and "your diet" which means what you eat. Health checks routinely lead to a chat about healthy eating and nutrition and levels of appropriate exercise. Even the fittest and slimmest of people still have a discussion about food and exercise for health chats at such appointments.

@Spirallingdownwards - fair enough. As I said, I've never been lucky enough to have one of these appointments, so I have no idea what goes on at them. Which leads me to an apology for saying they fat shamed her - you were right, I was wrong.

Every single person who has the routine health checks now offered is given advice about nutrition whatever their size. They did not single her out.

'oh and of course it’s luck. It’s a privilege to be able to afford nutritious food and have the ability, time and education to cook well'

You see its this defeatist attitude that is the problem. It is cheap and easy to eat well (maybe not the amount preferred but certainly to eat well). Ready meals and junk food are actually more expensive but it's this fallacy that people have to live on bogofs of crap.

We aren't wealthy but we eat well and healthily every single day.

Big unfair slagging off the people who are looking after your mum/dad/child/nan/granddad in hospital though. Most of who are fat in healthcare know they are fat. They aren’t stupid. But I feel like we have a fairly reasonable excuse to be fat.

People will only continue to get fatter. It’s going to get worse, not better. That’s why these threads are fairly pointless.

As per @Spirallingdownwards post above, apparently these are routine conversations, and not based on personal dynamics, experiences or disorders.

But do you REALLY think that these threads actually do anything other than shame fat people? They don’t help. They don’t point out anything fat people don’t already know. It’s no wonder fat people get defensive.

And you assume that most fat people are making excuses when you know nothing about most people. One of the biggest risk factors for developing an ED is a previous history of dieting - as well as being shamed. EDs cost the the NHS £9.4 billion. Obesity currently £6.5 billion.

To add, I do know the difference between "diet" and "being on a diet" - English is my first language despite living in other countries. But the OP stated, "Two nurses - both considerably overweight - dispensing advice on diet. I am not overweight." The fact that she mentioned she was not overweight led me to believe that the nurses had been referring to "diet" as weight loss.

Nonetheless, I take your point that this is routine advice, given whether the patient needs it or not.

'People will only continue to get fatter. It’s going to get worse, not better. That’s why these threads are fairly pointless.'

Why do you think it's going to get worse? I'll tell you why I think it will, because it's been medicalised and enabled. Being overweight is now seen as a 'condition', so people stop every trying.

They can't help it because someone on the internet told them that.

Tbf many threads on mn are pointless but we aren't in charge sadly so can't change things just hopefully make people see that they need to take responsibility for their health.

What a profoundly ignorant comment.

Binge eating disorder is a recognised eating disorder. Dopamine searching can be a symptom of ADHD among other conditions. As others have mentioned there are links to trauma.

As an overweight nurse myself this really saddens me - I have PCOS and really struggle with weight loss.
I am more than qualified to give out dietary advice and hate that someone would think my weight would make me less qualified at doing my job.

It's a routine health check. To me that means blood pressure, review any medication, maybe a blood count - OP clearly doesn't need dietary advice since she's not overweight.
I don't think nurses should mention diet unless asked or unless a person is visibly overweight. And a fat HCP can't really offer dietary advice with any authority if they are fat themselves, since it does come across as hypocritical. Yes they might have a thyroid problem or something but most people who are fat are fat because of diet (not judging, am big myself). That said, an overweight nurse might have more empathy to the difficulties of following a healthy diet, than a nurse who finds it easy to stay slim.

It's not comparable to teacher without kids themselves being able to teach, since teaching and parenting are not linked.

This. I'm not a nurse but I have hypothyroidism and would hate to be judged on my ability to do my job or anything because of it

FWIW, I would much rather speak to somebody like you.

1. Obesity is endemic.
2. Genetics play a large part in who becomes obese.
3. Nurses are often struggling with time/money, both of which push towards poor eating.
4. Stop being so self righteous. Are you looking for an excuse to dismiss what they are saying?

I think the issue is the advice is unsolicited. That’s the problem. The OP has not gone to the doctor for dietary advice. She went for blood pressure check.

I would feel the same. If I went for a blood pressure check and I am a healthy weight then I don’t need basic NHS dietary advice. Especially if I am in the normal weight range and the person giving the advice is not. They can ask me how often I exercise and what my diet is like if they want and that should establish that it’s not needed.

That does not mean overweight nurses are not qualified to give this advice out. But target it at those that clearly need it and ask for it.

Nope. I don’t know whether you can’t understand or don’t want to - but yes your ability to just reduce the amount you eat AND that result in weight loss is down to pure luck. I’m sorry if it removes your sense of superiority but, that is the truth.

Your ascertation there is no fat shaming indicates that you have no self awareness though so it’s not entirely surprising you can’t even see your own good fortune.

Why do you think those people who are fat shamed, bullied, discriminated against and know their health is suffering don’t just lose weight by cutting down on food? Answer me that.