To expect fat nurses to have some insight?.

[Vikingess]

Just had a routine health check today at my GP surgery. Two nurses - both considerably overweight - dispensing advice on diet. I
am not overweight -AIBU to expect health professionals to demonstrate the the standards they recommended or at least admit to falling short.

'Nope. I don’t know whether you can’t understand or don’t want to - but yes your ability to just reduce the amount you eat AND that result in weight loss is down to pure luck. I’m sorry if it removes your sense of superiority but, that is the truth.'

I'm really not superior. I've faced significant health challenges as have many so have empathy for anyone struggling with serious health problems. Facts are facts though and luck doesn't come into eating healthily.

I'm starving now but it's only 4pm! so I will just stay feeling hungry or have a coffee until later on, it won't kill me.

I’m not bashing anyone. You said reducing food has significant negative effects in the body. I merely said that for overweight people the major gains of weight loss significantly outweigh the short term issues.

I’m sorry to hear you have an ED, it makes life very difficult.

An overeating problem is very obvious but drink, drug and other addiction/MH issues are invisible. They are dispensing the info their position requires. A Dr isn't going to say, 'actually I shouldn't advise on pain relief as I'm an opiates addict' or an architect say, 'I can't draw up your house plans for a minimalist box as I live in a hoarders paradise'. Ever heard the expression, 'the shoemakers bairns ..' meaning the shoemakers children's shoe were a mess if they had any'.

You still aren’t understanding the point though are you? Luck absolutely does come into both being able to eat healthier and that allowing you to lose weight. Can you honestly not see that?

Can you really not understand that food issues are not related to hunger? Do what if you can not respond to hunger for a couple of hours? Do you want a medal? It’s totally irrelevant when it comes to obesity, people aren’t obese because they could hold off an hour for tea because they were hungry. If it was purely a hunger response they then would eat less at tea if they ate now.

You still haven’t answered my question so I’ll ask you for a third time. If it’s a choice, why do obese people put up with bullying, discrimination, knowing it’s not healthy if it’s purely a choice just to eat more healthily? Why can you do it but others cant or don’t. Why do you think that is?

I hope to God you don’t work in healthcare

'Why do you think those people who are fat shamed, bullied, discriminated against and know their health is suffering don’t just lose weight by cutting down on food? Answer me that.'

Because many think they can't, some think they have a medical condition that they have no control over. Others think their calories in and energy used is different to everyone else's. They think they produce too much cortisol or are chasing dopamine highs. All these medicalised words enabling overeating.

Again I'm not suggesting it is easy if you are used to eating large amounts often <and obviously not including those with genuine diagnosed ED> but the key is, without it being 'dieting' just eat less. Day by day reduce portion size, walk rather than drive (I never see overweight people when I'm out dogwalking long distances) and i guarantee after 6 months you will see pounds come off.

£9.4 billion is total cost to the U.K., the total healthcare cost (NHS & private) for EDs is £1.5-1.7 billion.

You're overweight but you don't think they should be able to LITERALLY DO THEIR JOBS because they're overweight too?

Because it's easier for them to lose weight than it is for you?!

Nope.

I wouldn't wish alcoholism or drug/gambling addiction on anyone but boy could some of you pious skinny folk do with a random period of stress that triggers a food addiction/binge eating disorder as a coping mechanism to stop you being so ignorant/judgemental and gain a bit of empathy!

Your repeated use of “think they can’t” is quite frankly disgusting. You are suggesting that serious trauma, mental health conditions. Neurodivergent diversity etc are things which can be “overcome” by thought. Is this what you think of things like metal health conditions generally? Do you think people with depression should just look on the bright side?

I see obese people often walking their dogs across the moors.

Anyway I’ll leave you to your fantasy world of misplaced superiority because every post you’re writing is becoming increasingly derogatory and discriminatory as well as hateful. I doubt you recognise the catastrophic impact that your words will be having on people here. This kind of attitude prevents many people getting the help they need a deserve - they fear being judged by people like you, people who don’t realise just how lucky (yes it is luck even if you can’t or won’t comprehend that) you are.

'but boy could some of you pious skinny folk do with a random period of stress that triggers a food addiction/binge eating disorder as a coping mechanism to stop you being so ignorant/judgemental and gain a bit of empathy!'

I'm not skinny thanks, though I note how you use it in an insulting tone.

I've had far more than 'random periods of stress' thanks and if I ever do binge eat I'll know I have absolutely no one but myself to blame and ask for help not just carry on eating.

'Do you think people with depression should just look on the bright side?'

No, i think they should see a hcp and seek treatment? Not just accept they are how they are and nothing can be done to help and change things.

Ah there it’s is “blame”!

I have multiple professional and academic qualifications - I have worked hard to achieve these things. I still consider myself lucky.

If I had been born to drug addicted parents, living in a council flat, forced to join a gang would you think I should blame myself if I wasn’t able to achieve a PhD? But I don’t have drug addled parent, I joined a gang with my friends who put on dance shows because I was lucky not to have such a terrible childhood.

Or may be the kid who is acting as the sole carer for their chronically ill mother should just have tried harder at school and got in to university She could have just done an extra 2 hours homework per night, after all I did extra work and made it - no luck involved in not having a chronically I’ll parent.

These are some of the issues facing children when trying to get a good education. Yes top academic qualifications are down to hard work but not achieving them is rarely due to laziness.

People with attitudes like yours are a big part of the obesity crisis by creating a culture of self blame and shame. You need to stop and think about the problems you could cause.

But when they do seek help they are usually met with attitudes like yours - usually full of blame and misinformation.

Attitudes like this need to changes to end the obesity crisis. These attitudes are a major part of the issue. Your attitude is akin to telling someone with depression to pull themselves together- can you, in all honesty, not see that?

I agree that food addiction is the same as any addiction be it drink, drugs or smoking. Very very hard to kick but not impossible.

What I don’t agree With however is the constant excuses of medication, genetics, hormones, big bones, weight runs in the family, bad metabolism etc etc. Of course there are a small number of people who have medical reasons for being fat but the vast majority are fat because they eat too much. The VAST majority. That is a mental health issue. Food addiction. Very few people want to admit that. They prefer to blame it on every other excuse under the sun rather than the fact they overeat the wrong foods. I can’t lose weight.. well technically you can, same as a drug addict can stop, a smoker can stop or an alcoholic can stop. If you were in a room and fed 3 nourishing meals a day and some healthy snacks, you would 100% lose weight.

The problem is that an addiction is an addiction and although yes, you can absolutely lose weight by changing your diet, your mental health is stopping you. It’s a vicious circle.

I do think that a lot of people do not address their addiction as being just that… an addiction but will instead use every excuse in the book rather than admit to themselves let alone others that they are fat because they overeat. And in saying that a lot of people who are not overweight will never understand a food addiction and will see it as greedy. It’s not.

'People with attitudes like yours are a big part of the obesity crisis by creating a culture of self blame and shame. You need to stop and think about the problems you could cause.'

As I say, always everyone else's fault. I don't cause any problems just point out inconvenient truths.

God we can’t win can we?

A health check can involve a cholesterol check, blood sugar check, BP, BMI etc. So advising on diet - as in the food you eat, not dieting I.e. weight loss - is fundamental. If BP, or cholesterol, or sugar or BMI is elevated then of course we should be offering dietary advice.

If we’re fatties and do that we’re hypocrites.

If we’re slim we’re also hypocrites as we don’t understand what it’s like to struggle with our weight.

I’m so fucking tired of being a nurse. When I see comments here on MN and see what people really think of us I just wonder why I bother.

The OP went to a health check. You get advice on all sorts and asked about diet, exercise, smoking and alcohol. There was no shaming at all, OP voluntarily attended a medical check and was given basic standard advice. She then came online to complain 2 people doing their jobs are fat.

Yes, @Spirallingdownwards has already explained this upthread.

Most people who want to lose weight need to change their mindset as well as what they eat .
For many (including myself) we eat because we are bored. Go somewhere (work meeting, canteen) and there’s free food to graze over? Yep you eat because food is there, even though you are not hungry.

if bored, and if you can change what you are doing, do something different.

This. They're following standard procedure. Why the need to bitch about 'fat nurses'?

It's their job they have to tell you.

You can make your own choices about your diet as they have.

I told you I don't eat a lot and I don't and I exercise and i'm still fat, i'm not making excuses, saying it's medication, or anything else, i'm just saying i'm fat&i've tried to control it&it doesn't work. I ha e bloods regularly due to conditions I have and my blood sugar is always normal because even though i'm fat i'm still healthy, but you continue to spout the bullshit that it's overeating and lack of exercise when it isn't and i'm pretty sure i'm not the only fat person in the same boat, so I will continue eating my 2 healthy meals a day and my exercise and hating my body because I never have been and never will be thin, but for a lot of people I will always be lesser and I will always be looked down on for the way I look by people like you who think that i'm not doing enough.

I'm a fat nurse. I'm very good at my job according to feedback from colleagues and patients. Would you prefer I didn't do my job because of my weight? A skinny nurse with less knowledge is preferable?

I don't get to eat properly at work because I am often busy looking after people, I work extra hours for free because I am supporting patients so rarely have the time or energy to exercise as much as I would like.

I know how to eat healthy, exercise etc and just because I havent been able to follow it because of some medical issues, mental health, work stress etc that doesn't mean I should withhold the info from my patients. Actually I empathise with my patients who struggle with lifestyle changes because I know how hard it can be.

I'll always remember hearing a patient who I had given CPR telling his daughter that all the nurses on this ward are fat. That's what mattered, my weight, not that I'd spent my lunch break keeping him breathing.

How lovely that those of us in caring professions who want to help people get judged on our looks rather than our skills and knowledge.

Never mind my years of caring experience, 2 degrees, masters and multiple CPD qualifications. My next employer should ignore all that and instead check my BMI to make sure I'm suitable for the job.

OP decided you can't be good at your job because she ate blooming lentils when she was younger and so should you.

Is it their job though to dish out basic dietary advice when a person has come in for something else, did not ask for any dietary advice and appears to be a healthy weight.

No questions asked, not targeted advice…I don’t see that as doing ‘a good job’.