To be upset that ex named his daughter like mine?

[Spanishbydora]

I really would love some opinion. Ex and I have 2 daughters, and are both from Latin America. We picked names that reflected our culture. The two girls are 14 and 11.

I have since remarried, for the past 7 years. I had a third baby girl. Her father is from East Africa, and she was named after her grandmother. She is now 4.

My ex had a baby girl a year ago with his girlfriend ( who is Spanish) , and they named her just like my daughter and MiL. It annoys me so much, I am having a hard time.

My 2 eldest refer to their siblings as "Little X and big X". I haven't said anything, but it really annoys me.

My husband is more relaxed , he finds it hilarious that a little white girl has that name. He hasn't shown any anger.

Albu, right?

Well I looked it up. Dalila and Amina are Swahili it would seem. I wouldn't find it shocking to name white girls these.

Or maybe a couple from Uganda should never call their girl Ciara?

Yes, it’s odd. If you have anymore children, make sure you give him a pretend name for them and see what he does then.

That’s really weird!

Sounds like an arse to me. I'd be fuming. Also, if I was the mother of his new child, I certainly wouldn't accept that.

That is so weird. It's also really unfair to all of his children in my opinion: your 2 shared DDs who now have to deal with half-sisters with the same name, and then his 3rd DD who will obviously find out the story when she's older.

My guess is that your Ex mentioned the name and either he or his new partner liked it.

I think your DH has the right attitude though since there's nothing you can do about it. I think it's likely she'll go by a nickname when she's older anyway if the name isn't a good cultural fit.

Does his new wife know that their daughter has the same name as his ex wife’s daughter?

It seems bizarre to me.
”darling, what shall we call our new baby daughter?”

”how about XXX(unusual name from a completely unrelated country/culture)?”

“what made you think of that name?”

”it’s what my ex wife has called her daughter”

”ah OK, that sounds prefect”

crazy!!!

If I'm understanding OP's post I don't think are siblings at all

They’re not. They have two completely distinct sets of parents. To be honest I’d find it funny. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and all that.

Yes that's weird. I feel sorry for the poor child who has a petty father.

Bizarre.

It must be weird for your shared kids to have two half siblings with the same name.

Yes it’s weird but you clearly have great taste. Iniko is a gorgeous name (first time I’ve heard it).

No, but I have a friend who is Nigerian called Afopefoluwa (and I can't even put the accents on the letters)

It would be very peculiar to name a white English girl this if you had no African family heritage. It sounds like the OP isn't suggesting a name like 'Amina' that could be vaguely acceptable. She has made it clear that this is a name that is very much linked with her new partner's family and country. It's definitely weird behaviour on the part of her ex.

I couldn't be bothered to get upset about it. I might laugh, like my partner, and say 'Goodness, that's a coincidence! What part of East Africa is your new girlfriend from again?' if I had to speak to ex about the children.

What are you on about ? Amina is an Arabic name ( Swahili is related to Arabic so not that shocking). Amina is a name used throughout the Islamic world too, from Niger to Indonesia.

Uganda is also a Christian country, plenty of Christophers or Mary ( and I know what you'll probably claim biblical name as "English"). CULTURE IS NOT RACE FFS. If that hypothetical Ugandan couple, name their baby after the husband's ex. Yeah they would be crazy.

Who do you think would be more likely to be discriminated based on names : Ciara or Hashaan?

Mohamed/Mohammad/Muhammed is an example of a trans-culture name. Binti is not.

You’re not unreasonable to be upset. It’s weird. I imagine he potentially hadn’t ever heard the name until you called your youngest daughter it?

Even if he heard it (or his new wife did) and thought “that’s the most beautiful name I’ve ever heard!”, which they might well have done, you still just wouldn’t do it.

Thank you so much.

@Createausername1970 That is a good question. She is a quiet woman, never talks, I honestly never managed to get to know her properly.

It’s really really weird. I feel bad for his new partner. I wonder what she makes of it? That he’s clearly still preoccupied by you.

I feel bad for the child as well, “little x”. They’ll find out soon enough from their siblings. I wonder what they will think of their name? Super odd.

Who do you think would be more likely to be discriminated based on names : Ciara or Hashaan?
Oh so now you are bringing discrimination into it! What next?

I do find the action of your ex very odd, but I find the reference to the fact it's a white baby of bad taste and unnecessary.

Oh and according to Google, Amina is a Swahili name too, not just Arabic.

These Swahili names are really pretty. The odd bit is that he chose the same one.

She must have heard the 2 DD speak about their new sister.

I don’t think the new wife has much of a say.

Your ex is an idiot, but you probably knew that?
Of course he is not angry, he finds it hilarious and the fact that it pisses you off is a bonus.

That said, you have nothing to gain being angry about it and the name isn't going to change, so all you can do really is make peace with it somehow.

Yes, it is also a Somali, Persian, Malian, Afghan etc... too then. Come on.

Do you really not see the difference between a name like Aaliyah/Aisha/Imani and Buuxo/Guedid ?

Yes, I am bringing discrimination into it, because it might not be your reality, but it is of a lot people with distinctive name from a perceived place.

I will say it one more time, it is not an international/widely known name ( even if it was, it annoys me that their daughter is named like my 4yo).

Thanks. Good luck.

No

Oh come on. Some names are very much of a culture. Calling a white girl Ki Soon Yu would be fucking weird.

@Createausername1970 He is a pathological liar, told his partner how crazy I am. I doubt he changed. I have never heard his partner complain to me , the girls never told me anything negative about her either.

I really don't know why she agreed.