To be upset that ex named his daughter like mine?

[Spanishbydora]

I really would love some opinion. Ex and I have 2 daughters, and are both from Latin America. We picked names that reflected our culture. The two girls are 14 and 11.

I have since remarried, for the past 7 years. I had a third baby girl. Her father is from East Africa, and she was named after her grandmother. She is now 4.

My ex had a baby girl a year ago with his girlfriend ( who is Spanish) , and they named her just like my daughter and MiL. It annoys me so much, I am having a hard time.

My 2 eldest refer to their siblings as "Little X and big X". I haven't said anything, but it really annoys me.

My husband is more relaxed , he finds it hilarious that a little white girl has that name. He hasn't shown any anger.

Albu, right?

Very weird all round but since you can't do anything about it I would ignore it.

Definitely strange!

I suspect he has done it to get a rise from you. Then you would be contributing to his “my ex is a lunatic” narrative.

Completely ignore the issue. He will purposely bring it up. Act nonchalant and comment, “We don’t have exclusive rights to her name” and change the subject. He will possibly implode!

Don’t be so disingenuous.

OP has a daughter named X with her new husband.

ExH has named his daughter X with his new wife.

Really weird!! What were him and his new partner thinking, absolutely strange behaviour.

OP all you can do is get on with life and interact as little as possible. This is going to come up with friends, teachers etc. over the years and you’ll just have to smile knowingly at them and give them ‘the look’ to let them know that you know he’s a weirdo, you just can’t say anything!

It seems deliberate/weird to me but I’m also amazed that his new partner went along with it 😬

Okay. Well, I don't think you have to be Freud to see what is happening here.

At least he's some other woman's problem now.

you can’t do anything about it and need to move past it but yes it is very weird. And everyone who knows will be thinking they are weird.

I think it depends on whether your ex chose the name or if it's one his new partner had shortlisted herself. So if it's a Swahili name like Aaliyah, Aiysha, Nala or Nya then there's more of a chance the mum heard the name elsewhere and just loved it. Whereas if it's genuinely an unusual name more like Binti, Niagh or Sikudhani then it's more likely they just copied you. I would feel annoyed too though so I can see where you're coming from.

He is absolutely unhinged. And how the hell did he get the new wife to go along with it.

Whatever fucked up reason he had, it’s his poor daughter who is going to grow up knowing her dad chose the same name as his exW. This is going to be weird for her too. It will never just be her name.

Really weird behaviour! Yanbu

Depends on the name, if it's Safiya/Amani or along those lines i can see how they arrived on the name vs something less popular. Although no idea why the GF would want the same name as you, very odd.

Go with your husband and laugh!

That is weird as fuck and I am amazed his current partner agreed to it.

I wouldn't be laughing because I'd be too concerned how he must be treating his new partner for her to accept such a completely ridiculous thing.

@singingthypraises @JanewaysBun

Nope, more along names like Barika ; Hediye...

Her middle name is : Iniko.

There is no rational way to justify him coming to the same name. It doesn't matter how common/uncommon/culturally specific or otherwise. His daughters already have a sister with this name, and had had that sister for 3 years before he chose to name his 3rd daughter. He is a fool.

Sounds like he's still obsessed with you OP. He's doing it to get under your skin. Pretend you don't care one way or the other. Fake this until it becomes true. Others will see he can't look past you.

I feel sorry for his partner actually. He is still so focussed upon you.

You are right to think it is weird, but your DH has the right attitude to it. Just laugh and be thankful you are no longer with him.

1). It’s really odd he’s done it and as a previous poster said how the hell did he get his new wife to agree to it. It suggests he’s still very much focused on you.

2). It’s painful how many people can’t get the gist of the original post.

There’s plenty of names that would be weird to give to a white kid with no African heritage.

If it was just a parent who heard the name and liked it fine. But this is wierd. Who gives their kid a totally unusual name that is the exact same name as their other kids sibling? That’s very strange behaviour.

OP yes it’s clearly meant to get at you. Rise above it. He looks ridiculous, and will do for the rest of his life.

YANBU it’s weird and sounds like he’s obsessed with you. Why would he want his daughters to have 2 sisters with the same name? I can’t believe his partner agreed to it.

I'd take it as a compliment. A weird one, but nothing says flattery like imitation!
You can't do anything about it. He's clearly a horrible person so just rise above the notion of it being an annoyance. Don't give him the headspace.

It's utterly bizarre. Even if the name was a super common name like "Emma" it would still be utterly bizarre. Imagine how that poor child will feel as they grow up and realise that they are "Emma #2" because their dad was still obsessed with getting one over on his ex. However as there is nothing you can do about it you'll just need to laugh at him.

Sounds like he had his nose put out of joint when you parted. It's his way of trying to exercise a bit of power. If you embrace it though, you take the power away. Doesn't make it right though.

I wonder whether his new partner actually had any say in the matter?