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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Having to wait for everyone's lifts after work

344 replies

Tired75643 · 06/05/2024 23:50

I'm a team leader in a pub, I regularly work the evening shifts and have to set the alarm and lock up once everyone has finished and left. Generally it'll be me and one other member of staff at the end of the night finishing, some drive home, some (like me) get taxis and wait at the back of the pub.
Recently we've had a couple of new staff start who rely on lifts from parents when they finish, the problem is they are waiting about 20-30 minutes for them once we're finished. Both are younger girls who don't feel safe waiting outside alone, which is understandable. I obviously can't lock the door until they're outside so I have to wait with them but this is adding half an hour onto my shift when I just want to get home and go to bed, my taxi only usually takes 5 minutes to get there.
I talked to the manager about it and his answer was just tell them to wait outside and go....but I really don't want to leave 19 year old girls on their own late at night when they don't feel safe. I also don't want to be waiting at work longer than I need to, unpaid, after a long shift.
I've tried telling them when it looks like they're half an hour away from finishing so they can call their lifts but there always seems to be a delay, and there's no guarantee what time we will finish so they can't set a specific time.
AIBU to ask my manager to either sort
something out with the staff members
or let me stay clocked in until I can actually lock up and find some extra tasks so I'm at least being paid to be there?

OP posts:
Newestname002 · 09/05/2024 14:26

@Tired75643

I think I'm going to send them both a message and let them know from next week I won't be waiting to lock up, I'll wait outside with them for my taxi, but then I'll be off and fingers crossed they won't try and push it

What will you say/do if they ask you to give them a lift in your taxi? Need to be prepared for that possible eventuality. 🌹

WhenWillTheSunShineIWonder · 09/05/2024 22:34

Why don’t they have a specific finish time? Then the lift can be prearranged to be there then. It’s not really fair on them to not know what time their shift actually ends.

Mrsgus · 09/05/2024 22:53

They don't feel safe waiting outside a pub they work in for a short period of time? Bloody hell where is it, in the middle of no-where? Surely they go out at that age and probably stay out a lot later than a normal pub's shut tap hours 🤷‍♀️

ButterCrackers · 09/05/2024 22:56

Go when your shift has ended. Their lifts will arrive on time once they’ve had to wait outside. It’s not your problem. They have phones so they can call for help in an emergency.

Notamum12345577 · 09/05/2024 22:58

thirtyseven37 · 07/05/2024 00:17

Firstly, they are WOMEN not girls.
Secondly, if they or their parents don't want them waiting around outside for half an hour then the parents need to get there earlier.

I was scrawling through looking for the first ‘they aren’t girls’ post 😁

Emmz1510 · 09/05/2024 23:12

They are 19! Honestly I would just leave them to it. Or talk to them about it. You could say ‘look girls I don’t really feel comfortable with you standing outside waiting for your lifts but I have to close up by x time and then I need to get home. Can you make sure your lifts are here on time? Then if they don’t, there’s nothing else you can do. You’ve made your position clear but ultimately it’s not your responsibility.

BettyBardMacDonald · 09/05/2024 23:29

WhenWillTheSunShineIWonder · 09/05/2024 22:34

Why don’t they have a specific finish time? Then the lift can be prearranged to be there then. It’s not really fair on them to not know what time their shift actually ends.

Because it's the hospitality industry and there are daily variables. The OP has explained this.

PyongyangKipperbang · 10/05/2024 01:19

Tired75643 · 06/05/2024 23:50

I'm a team leader in a pub, I regularly work the evening shifts and have to set the alarm and lock up once everyone has finished and left. Generally it'll be me and one other member of staff at the end of the night finishing, some drive home, some (like me) get taxis and wait at the back of the pub.
Recently we've had a couple of new staff start who rely on lifts from parents when they finish, the problem is they are waiting about 20-30 minutes for them once we're finished. Both are younger girls who don't feel safe waiting outside alone, which is understandable. I obviously can't lock the door until they're outside so I have to wait with them but this is adding half an hour onto my shift when I just want to get home and go to bed, my taxi only usually takes 5 minutes to get there.
I talked to the manager about it and his answer was just tell them to wait outside and go....but I really don't want to leave 19 year old girls on their own late at night when they don't feel safe. I also don't want to be waiting at work longer than I need to, unpaid, after a long shift.
I've tried telling them when it looks like they're half an hour away from finishing so they can call their lifts but there always seems to be a delay, and there's no guarantee what time we will finish so they can't set a specific time.
AIBU to ask my manager to either sort
something out with the staff members
or let me stay clocked in until I can actually lock up and find some extra tasks so I'm at least being paid to be there?

Former manager here. Had a similar issue and did the same and then had to drive 45 minutes home. I ended up saying " I am locking up at x time so sort your lifts now". And went home. Hated myself for it but i was barely surviving at that point. Oddly, within a couple of weeks the parents were waiting in the car park when we closed.

BusyMummy001 · 10/05/2024 07:55

Agree with other posters - the parents will need to be there by closing and potentially have to sit and wait while clearing up if this tuns over. Assuming they are paid until 11pm, the parents should be there by 11.

GracefulGrandma · 10/05/2024 08:02

19 is fine to wait outside.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 10/05/2024 08:19

saraclara · 07/05/2024 15:18

They're 19. If this was a p/t job while they were away at uni, they'd sort their own transport and not invasive that their boss would be watching for them.

Exactly. Not like they’re 17 and can’t eg drive yet.

At 19 they are more than capable and should be arranging their own transport plus the fact there’s two of them so depending on where the other lives they can watch out for the other.

It’s actually a bit concerning that they’re expecting you, their boss, to watch for them.

m00rfarm · 10/05/2024 08:27

If there are two of them it is not an issue. But when one goes, and there is just one left on their own, then yes - that is not good. But it is not your responsibility - it is their responsibility as an adult to sort it out. So make sure they re absolutely aware that one of them will be standing outside on their own at some point (unless the other girl waits with her even after her lift arrives)

MyFirstLittlePony · 10/05/2024 08:30

It totally is between them and their parents

they can wait somewhere else (another bar) or their parents can come early

currently you are an unpaid baby sitter for 19 year olds

they should not have taken the job if they can’t get to and from the job ok

this is a bit like kids pretending to be adults and you are the unpaid facilitator

betterangels · 10/05/2024 09:00

Have them wait outside. They're not children, and you're not a babysitter.

stichguru · 10/05/2024 09:06

You can't set up a situation and then have a paddy because people's responses to it aren't what you want. Clearly if the parents felt that the girls waiting wasn't ok, they could get there early and read, sew whatever in their cars until the girls were done. They don't seem to feel like this. You can't change that. YOU have set up this situation by deciding the girls don't get to have a set end time. If you want the parents to be there when the girls are done give them a set end time. If you don't want to do that, wait with them if you want to, or not if you don't, but don't criticise the parents for a normal response to a situation YOU have created.

ClairDeLaLune · 10/05/2024 09:09

That’s ridiculous! You shouldn’t be waiting with them, they’re adults not little kids. My daughter did a similar job and we always made sure we were there to pick her up on time. Because that was our responsibility, as we’d said we’d do it, not her boss’s. If we couldn’t pick her up she’d arrange a taxi.

Nanny0gg · 10/05/2024 09:10

I think being told my DD was waiting outside a pub on her own at a certain time of night would concentrate my mind on getting there 10 minutes earlier.

Tripeandonions · 10/05/2024 09:13

KTheGrey · 07/05/2024 04:20

If you make them wait outside, they will ask their parents to turn up on time, or get a taxi. You are not obliged to cover for their reluctance to pay for a taxi or their parents' reluctance to turn up on time.

This ^

Applescruffle · 10/05/2024 09:18

They are adults, not school children. Explain to them that you're sorry you can't wait and go.

nobodysdaughter · 10/05/2024 09:20

They are NINETEEN. Why are you waiting with them? I worked in a south London pub at that age, and cycled/got the bus home after my shifts. How long do they intend to live like this for? At their parents, needing someone to wait with them? Till their 20s? What's the cutoff point?

nonumbersinthisname · 10/05/2024 09:24

stichguru · 10/05/2024 09:06

You can't set up a situation and then have a paddy because people's responses to it aren't what you want. Clearly if the parents felt that the girls waiting wasn't ok, they could get there early and read, sew whatever in their cars until the girls were done. They don't seem to feel like this. You can't change that. YOU have set up this situation by deciding the girls don't get to have a set end time. If you want the parents to be there when the girls are done give them a set end time. If you don't want to do that, wait with them if you want to, or not if you don't, but don't criticise the parents for a normal response to a situation YOU have created.

I’d recommend reading all the OPs posts. This is hospitality where it is normal for the end time to vary because the close up routine depends on the number of customers that evening. The OP has given the girls a heads up 30 minutes ahead of predicted finish time to call for their lifts and the girls have chosen not to do so. If the girls can’t organise their lift home with 30 minutes notice then that’s their problem, not OPs.

Floppyelf · 10/05/2024 09:25

If they are 19, they need to get their CV’s in order and find another job where they don’t feel unsafe to wait outside. The parents picking them up is facilitating the business. When they quit and your manager has to find two new employees maybe the penny will drop.

Thegoodbadandugly · 10/05/2024 09:36

To be frank it's not your problem they took the job on, they are grown ups their parents could arrive earlier, just lick the door and go.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 10/05/2024 10:02

nobodysdaughter · 10/05/2024 09:20

They are NINETEEN. Why are you waiting with them? I worked in a south London pub at that age, and cycled/got the bus home after my shifts. How long do they intend to live like this for? At their parents, needing someone to wait with them? Till their 20s? What's the cutoff point?

Ha! Exactly. I know countless people who at 18 upwards worked in pubs, bars, restaurants etc in dodgy areas and they managed to sort their own transport out.

As I said before it’s worrying that they need all this hand holding. I mean it’s nice of their parents to pick them up but I hope they’re preparing them for the real world and no lifts!

stichguru · 10/05/2024 10:04

nonumbersinthisname · 10/05/2024 09:24

I’d recommend reading all the OPs posts. This is hospitality where it is normal for the end time to vary because the close up routine depends on the number of customers that evening. The OP has given the girls a heads up 30 minutes ahead of predicted finish time to call for their lifts and the girls have chosen not to do so. If the girls can’t organise their lift home with 30 minutes notice then that’s their problem, not OPs.

Show quote history

That irrelevant. IF the girls or their parents had ASKED OP to wait with them then you are right. However it's purely her decision to wait. She can't change the parents' response to the pick up time. She CAN continue to wait with the girls if she wants, or she CAN give them standard end time. If she doesn't want to do either of these things, that's HER problem, not their parents.