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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Having to wait for everyone's lifts after work

344 replies

Tired75643 · 06/05/2024 23:50

I'm a team leader in a pub, I regularly work the evening shifts and have to set the alarm and lock up once everyone has finished and left. Generally it'll be me and one other member of staff at the end of the night finishing, some drive home, some (like me) get taxis and wait at the back of the pub.
Recently we've had a couple of new staff start who rely on lifts from parents when they finish, the problem is they are waiting about 20-30 minutes for them once we're finished. Both are younger girls who don't feel safe waiting outside alone, which is understandable. I obviously can't lock the door until they're outside so I have to wait with them but this is adding half an hour onto my shift when I just want to get home and go to bed, my taxi only usually takes 5 minutes to get there.
I talked to the manager about it and his answer was just tell them to wait outside and go....but I really don't want to leave 19 year old girls on their own late at night when they don't feel safe. I also don't want to be waiting at work longer than I need to, unpaid, after a long shift.
I've tried telling them when it looks like they're half an hour away from finishing so they can call their lifts but there always seems to be a delay, and there's no guarantee what time we will finish so they can't set a specific time.
AIBU to ask my manager to either sort
something out with the staff members
or let me stay clocked in until I can actually lock up and find some extra tasks so I'm at least being paid to be there?

OP posts:
Mmhmmn · 11/05/2024 00:46

You need to be clear with them that they need to call for their lifts at x time so that their lifts arriving doesn’t delay you getting home. They probably don’t and won’t realise otherwise.

PieFaces · 11/05/2024 00:49

Give them one hours notice and do some jobs while you wait.

PieFaces · 11/05/2024 00:51

If they have no set finish time it’s very difficult for parents coordinating transport. They have other commitments to work around

Wotcher · 11/05/2024 02:11

Sounds pretty cheeky, she won’t do well in the world of work with that attitude!

ASongOfRiceAndPeas · 11/05/2024 02:32

PieFaces · 11/05/2024 00:51

If they have no set finish time it’s very difficult for parents coordinating transport. They have other commitments to work around

And op doesn’t?

mydogisthebest · 11/05/2024 06:31

PieFaces · 11/05/2024 00:51

If they have no set finish time it’s very difficult for parents coordinating transport. They have other commitments to work around

Maybe that should have been thought of before their daughters took the job?

Also the pick up is late at night. How many other commitments are the parents likely to have at that time?

crochetmonkey74 · 11/05/2024 06:59

Mmhmmn · 11/05/2024 00:46

You need to be clear with them that they need to call for their lifts at x time so that their lifts arriving doesn’t delay you getting home. They probably don’t and won’t realise otherwise.

They Don't realise a really basic common sense thing?

crochetmonkey74 · 11/05/2024 06:59

PieFaces · 11/05/2024 00:51

If they have no set finish time it’s very difficult for parents coordinating transport. They have other commitments to work around

Tough shit
It's their weird adult/child
Not anyone else's to look after

Floraflower3 · 11/05/2024 12:35

Fimofriend · 10/05/2024 17:14

It is effing unprofessional that you can't tell them what time their shift ends beforehand. Seems to me that you' d rather wait for half an hour after work than risk paying the two women for ten minutes when there isn't anything to do.

Have you worked in hospitality before? It has been explained multiple times why you can’t set an end time to the shift if working a closing shift.

I used to work in a popular chain pub. Last orders were at 12, customers had to be out by 12:30. Then the cleaning jobs needed to be done. These daily jobs included: mopping the bar floor, cleaning the bar, re-stocking fridges, cleaning the glass wash machines (only once all glasses are washed), hoovering the seating area, cleaning the tables and even wrapping cutlery. The busyness of the shift determined how much cleaning was left.

ChesterDrawz · 11/05/2024 13:28

PieFaces · 11/05/2024 00:51

If they have no set finish time it’s very difficult for parents coordinating transport. They have other commitments to work around

None of which is the OP's issue.

Tough shit.

ChesterDrawz · 11/05/2024 13:29

Mmhmmn · 11/05/2024 00:46

You need to be clear with them that they need to call for their lifts at x time so that their lifts arriving doesn’t delay you getting home. They probably don’t and won’t realise otherwise.

Why on earth does the OP need to be getting involved in that?!

The infantilising of grown adults on here is staggering at times.

whatsthecraictoday · 11/05/2024 13:57

Honestly OP, they are two adults plus they are together and in your view, it's not exactly a dangerous place. There's no reason why they can't wait together so you can get home. And as others have said, if they feel nervous then it's up to them to work that out with their parents.

Think you need to set a boundary and say that after next week, they're on their own. They need to figure this out for themselves.

Greengrasswalks · 11/05/2024 14:53

Tired75643 · 11/05/2024 00:42

In contrast the two women I worked with tonight finished at midnight and were fine waiting outside after I locked, I've been in the same position for a few years and never ever had an issue with this, I think the second team member just thought she would stay in as well if the pushy one gets to.
I'm not sure what's happening with her after the last shift, manager doesn't usually engage in any involvement from parents so I suspect the dads been told to talk to his daughter. Her behaviour on that shift in retaliation to me putting my foot down is enough to fail her probation so hopefully that will be the case.
Definitely a lesson learnt for me, I'll be making the leaving process really clear for any new team going forward.
Thanks for everyone's advice!

So, the pushy one is obviously the problem.

Hopefully, her probation period will be coming to an end soon, if she doesn’t get herself sacked before then.

GRex · 12/05/2024 06:49

OP, you keep being too nice. I would have spent the 15 minutes giving her a verbal warning and then a written warning if she didn't exit after the verbal warning. It's no good saying she was scrolling on her phone ignoring you, manage her.

Letsnotupsettheapplcart · 12/05/2024 20:28

Tired75643 · 10/05/2024 14:14

Just to add the reason they didn't want to get taxis is just the cost, I live a 5 minute drive away and it costs £7, if they are further away it probably wipes out a good chunk of their evening shift. But again that's something to think about before taking the job

Could their parents not at least drop you off as a thank you for waiting with them?

6pence · 13/05/2024 09:01

Letsnotupsettheapplcart · 12/05/2024 20:28

Could their parents not at least drop you off as a thank you for waiting with them?

That’s a good idea. Relations have probably soured a bit too much for that now though.

Problemzapper · 13/05/2024 09:25

Tired75643 · 10/05/2024 14:12

Wasn't expecting more replies but glad for even more feedback! To be clear I also think they're old enough to sort themselves and wait outside, but I do also see why they wouldn't feel safe alone. It's not a particularly rough area but it's isolated, everything else around is shut well before us so it can be a bit creepy alone in the dark.
They aren't asking me to wait with them as such rather that they want to wait inside, which means I can't set the alarm and leave. The first couple of times I let it go with wanting to be welcoming to new team, not leave them outside after their first shift. After that I explained about waiting outside and they would say oh it's only going to be a few minutes can we just stay inside? A few minutes would turn into 10, 20 etc. One of them is always parents collecting, the more difficult one is sometimes parents, sometimes friends, avoids my eye when I'm waiting and generally palms me off with excuses and I can't physically remove her from the building.

After all the advice I messaged them both with a few days warning I would be locking up, waiting my 5-10 minutes for taxi outside and they need to sort themselves accordingly. One of them said she would sort it and apologised for keeping me up, the guilt trip one didn't reply.... the next shift I worked with her she was difficult all shift, not listening to me etc and come finish time of course refused to leave. I was stood at alarm ready and she was not budging, she then just stood scrolling on her phone refusing to engage until someone arrived for her 15 minutes later. The next day my manager had a very angry text from her dad about her being locked out so he will now finally be stepping in to sort it out.

Wow! for one so young she is extremely 'entititled' and stroppy, but judging by her Dad's bolshy text to your manager, sticking up for his 'little princess' I can see the acorn did not fall far from the tree! I'm no expert on employment law, but wonder could you simply sack her now on grounds of 'insubordination'? As a new member of staff (who are normally keen to impress/get on with the boss) she's unlikely to improve her attitude now, why wait until her probabtion ends? get rid! You'll be doing her a favour in the long run, teaching her a lesson in life.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 13/05/2024 09:30

If dad is truly concerned about his dd waiting outside, then he needs to make sure that she lets him know her finish time, in good time, and then he needs to get there promptly.

tridento · 14/05/2024 17:22

op what is the out one of the cf worker? I can't imagine behaving like that at that age to my manager.

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