Just Been Called a Fucking Bitch by a Nottingham Knocker

[LuluBlakey1]

So, our doorbell rang. I answered it. He looked like a Nottingham Knocker. The conversation went like this.
Him (Nicely) 'Hello. Sorry to bother you. Can I explain who I am?'
Me (Nicely) 'Hello. Well you can but if you are selling anything, I don't want to buy anything so I don't want to waste your time.'
Him (Frowning) 'Can I show you what I am selling?'
Me (Still nicely) 'It really won't change my mind. I don't want to buy anything.'
Him (Annoyed) 'Not even the cheapest thing'
Me (Politely) 'No, sorry'.
Him (Angry) 'So you don't want to help me?'
Me (Politely) 'I just don't buy anything at the door, ever.'
Him (Angry) 'Nobody does in this street. Nobody even comes to the door.'
Me (Politely) 'Sorry we get lots of people knocking to sell stuff.'
Him (Raging and stomping off) 'Piss off you stupid fucking bitch.'
Me (Politely) 'Glad I didn't buy anything now. You are very rude.'
Him (Still raging) 'Just fuck off. You're all fucking rude. Just fucking buy something and we'll fuck off. There's no need to be so fucking tight. Bitch.'

AIBU to have wanted to pick the spade up that was in the garden and brain him with it?

I didn't, of course, but I wanted to. I can't even feel any sympathy/empathy for him - the veneer of 'nice' was so thin and the 'thug' so quickly emerged. I wish I just hadn't answered the door. I bet he wouldn't have spoken to DH like that- 6ft, nearly 15 st and looks quite like a thug himself.I'm so angry.

A similar thing happened to me.i answered the door to a Nottingham knocker.i was on my own with 2 small children.i politely but repeatedly told him I didn't want to buy anything (it's usually cheapo quality but not cheap to buy) He said "you people are all the fucking same" and he put his foot over the doorstep so I couldn't close the door. I felt really intimidated (he was 6ft + tall, I'm under 5ft) and in the end I just gave him £5 to go away!

To be fair, it’s a bit silly of her to put brochures through people’s doors if she is going to ask for them back.

Ha, yes. This site has a REALLY bizarre, not to mention interminable bee in its bonnet about this particular issue.

It's your (generic 'you') house. Answer the door or don't as you damned well please!

I've had a sign in my porch for years now staying something along the lines of
NO COLD CALLERS, blah blah. It really works and I've hardly had any since. On principal I will never, ever, buy from the doorstep and I hate sales people of any kind.

We had one round during the first Covid lockdown, clearly not an approved scheme then 🤷‍♀️

I also answered the door to a lady (who appeared to be a gypsy) selling sprigs of lavender. I was nearly 9 months pregnant with a very long awaited baby and bought the lot off her, I was so afraid of her cursing me!

I always tell them I have no money as I have just been made unemployed. They plead how they need the money, and I sympathise and say I know mate I know the feeling.

The proudest moment of my life was at the age of about 17 when the Jehovahs Witnesses called round. I happened to be watching "Jerry Springer the Opera" which I'd taped off the TV the night before. So I invited them in, but said I wanted to watch the last few minutes of my TV show first.

They sat through a few very awkward minutes listening to a rendition of "Three nippled Cousin Fucker", before making polite excuses and leaving.

CruCru · Today 16:05

To be fair, it’s a bit silly of her to put brochures through people’s doors if she is going to ask for them back.

Especially when I'd already asked several times not to!

Bobbotgegrinch · Today 16:52

They sat through a few very awkward minutes listening to a rendition of "Three nippled Cousin Fucker", before making polite excuses and leaving.

Ha ha! I've never seen it, but I'm going to try and find it now!

Three Nippled Cousin Fucker would be an excellent username, too!

Well it's certainly possible that they are fresh out of prison and are looking to make a living. Not an honest living, mind.

Many years ago, the JWs came round when I was in the middle of writing an A-level essay on Henry VIII and the Reformation. I was totally geared up to discuss what the Bible said and how much you could follow it... My sister and her friend were also in and I ended up having ti deal with them. (They were hot young men, though, which was a good marketing ploy. Where I am now, it was a little old lady with some children who I assume was her grand-daughter.)

I have never yet converted to the JWs.

I am laughing like Muttley.

I've only had one "später" in Switzerland.

Germany on the other hand is chaotic.

He had some sort of permit. I've just googled it and it says that the prison service do not set up ex-prisoners to sell door-to-door. So there you go - all a scam!

Yep, call me cynical but I follow the mantra "leopards don't lose their spots"

@Hobbesmanc

To be honest I always buy a tea towel pack or a fridge deodorant because it's such a grotty life knocking on doors.

And this is why they do it. Imagine if NO ONE ever gave to cold callers or beggars or chuggers. Their business model is over, so they would stop*. How great would that be?!

*Of course they will just resort to some other kind of thievery but that's another matter.

Your mistake was engaging in a conversation. Just say “no thank you” and shut the door. They are all scammers and liars.

I once found my mum talking to one at the door who claimed he worked for Help for Heroes. She shouted for me because at the time I volunteered with H4H, so she thought he was my friend. Cue a very awkward conversation where he tried to convince me he was affiliated with H4H but he didn’t know anything about it. I threatened to report him because I did in fact work for them, and he ran away!

Yes, this is always my approach. The door is open for all of 5 seconds if that. I don't care if they're mid sentence or whatever, if they're rude enough to disturb me in my own home, they can cope with a door shut in their face. I actually think this should be illegal. Canvassers, charities, salespeople, religious enthusiasts, I don't care, non of it should be allowed. I'm aware some areas have local bylaws that prohibit door to door salespeople, and that should be nationwide. Don't darken my doorstep please unless I know you, or you're in urgent need of some kind of medical help.

I wouldn't expect the prison service to do so. If it were set up by anyone, it would presumably be a charity. Although scammers are most likely.

Our street and perimeters have had trouble with Roma men doing a similar thing. It's usually on days with nice weather. The object is to keep you talking at the front door whilst a child sneaks round the still-open back to grab what they can. Older people are very vulnerable to this.

What I dont understand is why door to door selling hasnt been banned.

The only people who do it these days are crooks

It is, unless you have a pedlars certificate.

https://www.gov.uk/pedlars-certificate

It is illegal without a pedlars certificate.

https://www.gov.uk/pedlars-certificate

Just to add a positive tale here, many years ago, probably about 20 now I think of it, we lived in a very rural setting on a farm and one day this fish van drove up the long driveway and a chap got out to enquire whether we would like to buy frozen fish. At the time I was very much a fish eater and hadn't been able to get the fish I really liked from the supermarket. He opened a few of the boxes and showed me the fish, all nicely packed and flash frozen. I bought a couple of boxes that day, was delighted with the quality.

For many years the same chap visited, probably about 4 times a year, and I'd buy my supply of fish. He was a lovely guy, we had a common interest in gardening and was always happy to have a chat with him. We moved house and he was in the same area selling so used to turn up there, too. Then one day another guy showed up and told me the former chap had had a heart attack (not fatal thankfully) but had retired from the job. I was so sad to hear that, and the new chap wasn't nearly as nice and used to get a bit ratty so that in the end I stopped buying from them.

Around the same time as the later guy was selling me fish occasionally, another fish van showed up with what I can only describe as 'cowboys' because they came into my back garden via the side gate and tried to convince me to buy fish from them. I said no thank you and that I already bought fish from another company. They were quite rude about it but fortunately left.

So occasionally there is a nice person but that seems to be becoming rarer as the days go by.

Yes - we seem to have suddenly had loads after never having any really. I say I never pay for anything at the door and immediately it becomes very unfriendly bordering on feeling intimidated. I honestly don’t know who would pay for this stuff unless they’re vulnerable