Just Been Called a Fucking Bitch by a Nottingham Knocker

[LuluBlakey1]

So, our doorbell rang. I answered it. He looked like a Nottingham Knocker. The conversation went like this.
Him (Nicely) 'Hello. Sorry to bother you. Can I explain who I am?'
Me (Nicely) 'Hello. Well you can but if you are selling anything, I don't want to buy anything so I don't want to waste your time.'
Him (Frowning) 'Can I show you what I am selling?'
Me (Still nicely) 'It really won't change my mind. I don't want to buy anything.'
Him (Annoyed) 'Not even the cheapest thing'
Me (Politely) 'No, sorry'.
Him (Angry) 'So you don't want to help me?'
Me (Politely) 'I just don't buy anything at the door, ever.'
Him (Angry) 'Nobody does in this street. Nobody even comes to the door.'
Me (Politely) 'Sorry we get lots of people knocking to sell stuff.'
Him (Raging and stomping off) 'Piss off you stupid fucking bitch.'
Me (Politely) 'Glad I didn't buy anything now. You are very rude.'
Him (Still raging) 'Just fuck off. You're all fucking rude. Just fucking buy something and we'll fuck off. There's no need to be so fucking tight. Bitch.'

AIBU to have wanted to pick the spade up that was in the garden and brain him with it?

I didn't, of course, but I wanted to. I can't even feel any sympathy/empathy for him - the veneer of 'nice' was so thin and the 'thug' so quickly emerged. I wish I just hadn't answered the door. I bet he wouldn't have spoken to DH like that- 6ft, nearly 15 st and looks quite like a thug himself.I'm so angry.

I have a Ring doorbell. It only starts recording once someone presses the button. So they don’t press the button, they bang on the letterbox.

I would ignore the door but sometimes it’s some poor delivery driver who just doesn’t press the button for an unknown reason.

Never heard the term 'Nottingham Knocker' before.

That’s likely a setting you can change. Our Ring doorbell starts recording when it detects motion, like someone approaching the door.

Probably because its what they call them in nottingham

This! I never get drawn into conversation with unsolicited callers. If it's not someone I know or a delivery person handing me a parcel,I hear them out then just say 'No thank you' and close the door. Same way I deal with cold callers on the phone.

If the government actually wanted to do something that would get people interested and voting for them again they could make it illegal for unknown callers (who aren’t officials or delivery drivers) to call at any residential property!

I agree with this.

It’s been a problem for several decades now and no government has ever done anything about it. It’d be a vote winner and pretty easy to implement - publicity, and it’s done.

But they'd be making it illegal for themselves to canvas for elections, so I can't see any politician going for this one.

I'd not heard the term Nottingham Knocker before, either.

Why not file a police report? I think you could for mischief at least.
If not, braining him is the next best choice.

Yes me too. On the rare occasions I've opened my door when I'm not expecting anyone it's been someone trying to sell me stuff (fish, internet services etc or someone trying to tell me about their political party when it's about voting time). 🌹

My elderly parents have been duped by scammers like this before, and the ones who hand you a card saying they are deaf/mute, or are asylum seekers etc. My dad has even had scammers phone him up and say we're from so and so company, offer him a 'good deal' on something and he gives his credit card details over the phone 🫣 I don't know why they are so gullible but me and my siblings are always drumming it into them to stop. One of my neighbours let someone from a charity into their house to make them a cup of tea, obviously not from any charity as half an hour after they had left my neighbour realised the £50 she had on her mantle piece for her shopping had disappeared.

Doesn’t surprise me. I actually had genuine charity fundraiser on the street call me a bitch when I asked him to leave me alone. I was 16.

I don’t answer the door now unless I am expecting a delivery. I also now refuse to take in some neighbours’ parcels unless i know them well, after I had one continue to bang on my door and have a go at me because I was shouting down from the bathroom with the window open that I couldn’t come to do the door with my son in the bath.

Regarding this in other countries. No, in Switzerland, it’s illegal to hoover after 10pm and you can call the police if people make noise. Or any noise on a Sunday at all. IT IS A DAY OF REST, THE SWISS WILL HAVE YOU KNOW. So I imagine something as antisocial as Nottingham knockers would go down like a lead balloon. Well, that, and they don’t let anyone IN the country unless they can support themselves. And just like Monaco, for the SUPER big crimes, I think they deport to France, because I don’t think the Swiss have a maximum security prison? (I could be wrong). So absolutely no one could sell door to door, target the vulnerable, and claim they were doing it as prison rehabilitation.

And it just wouldn’t work - the housing here isn’t set up the same way it is in several parts of the UK. In city centers here, it’s a lot of apartment buildings, all with door codes, and houses are all spaced out in the suburbs, and in the countryside, it’s wide open and chalets. There’s no large areas of matching planned housing like you have, with two up, two downs, and attacheds. Plus, I mean, a couple in my building had the police called on them for having sex too loudly at 1am. And the police came out and told them to shut the fuck (ha) up. And then I realized I was getting old because I was glad they’d stop making noise. Welcome to Switzerland. Everything’s too expensive, it’s illegal to have a sense of humor, but it’s beautiful, and the trains always run on time.

My friend had similar. His sign said he was deaf. Friend is an interpreter so started signing.

He ran off.

Where I am we regularly have people knocking on the door and asking if I want to buy a mattress.

That's really horrible. I'd be terrified! Do you have a door camera? I'd consider reporting it to 101 as harassment/intimidation/potential burglars.
Maybe send a note to neighbours to warn them. Though by the sounds of it they never answer their doors, sensibly!
We used to get these fellas coming round with crappy cleaning products. My mum usually bought the cheapest thing to get rid of them, I guess if you don't you get a load of abuse!

We use our street WhatsApp to alert each other when they’re around. Very useful!

It’s all a scam, anyway!https://www.oprepeat.co.uk/nottingham-knockers/

Spend £4 on a little plaque for your door. ‘No cold callers thank you’.
I have put one up at every house and don’t have this issue.

We do this too, and the local Facebook groups light up when they're in the area. We haven't had them around for ages, it's an effective tactic by householders.

I'm from Nottingham and they don't ever knock round here. They aren't ex cons and the lads don't last very long who do the knocking. Its usually an old school boss that employs young lads desperate for work making out they will make £. The boss wins everytime as he takes in all the takings and the lads don't get paid because they didn't make a full week.

We used to have these until we set up a no cold calling zone. We don’t get them anymore. We also don’t get other people offering things at the door.

Surely it is just to grab mum and go to the Winchester until it all blows over.

No they are not part of a probation rehabilitation scheme. Or are not deaf/mute etc. Don't be so naive.

www.oprepeat.co.uk/nottingham-knockers/

Haven’t had them round here for a while now but I am always polite to them because you don’t know who they are or what they’re capable of. But they usually just go off on their merry way.

The rudest door to door encounter I’ve ever had was with a Red Cross charity chugger. Conversation went like this:

her: “I won’t patronise you by telling you what the Red Cross does.”
Me: “I’m not going to give you money.”
Her: “Oh I’m not asking for money.”
Me: “I’m not going to fill in a direct debit for you either.”
Her, aggressively: “So don’t you care about children in the third world!”
Me: “no.”
And shut the door.

We put one of those signs up on our door but they still knock.

"I got a bang on the head, I can't read"

These see you next Tuesdays have an answer for everything.