Just Been Called a Fucking Bitch by a Nottingham Knocker

[LuluBlakey1]

So, our doorbell rang. I answered it. He looked like a Nottingham Knocker. The conversation went like this.
Him (Nicely) 'Hello. Sorry to bother you. Can I explain who I am?'
Me (Nicely) 'Hello. Well you can but if you are selling anything, I don't want to buy anything so I don't want to waste your time.'
Him (Frowning) 'Can I show you what I am selling?'
Me (Still nicely) 'It really won't change my mind. I don't want to buy anything.'
Him (Annoyed) 'Not even the cheapest thing'
Me (Politely) 'No, sorry'.
Him (Angry) 'So you don't want to help me?'
Me (Politely) 'I just don't buy anything at the door, ever.'
Him (Angry) 'Nobody does in this street. Nobody even comes to the door.'
Me (Politely) 'Sorry we get lots of people knocking to sell stuff.'
Him (Raging and stomping off) 'Piss off you stupid fucking bitch.'
Me (Politely) 'Glad I didn't buy anything now. You are very rude.'
Him (Still raging) 'Just fuck off. You're all fucking rude. Just fucking buy something and we'll fuck off. There's no need to be so fucking tight. Bitch.'

AIBU to have wanted to pick the spade up that was in the garden and brain him with it?

I didn't, of course, but I wanted to. I can't even feel any sympathy/empathy for him - the veneer of 'nice' was so thin and the 'thug' so quickly emerged. I wish I just hadn't answered the door. I bet he wouldn't have spoken to DH like that- 6ft, nearly 15 st and looks quite like a thug himself.I'm so angry.

This is why I love my city and police. We have a city ordinance that says that all door to door sales people need to get a permit from the city. For businesses they charge a fee for the permit but do not for registered charities.

The permit must be worn prominently and details given to anyone who asks for it.

I give all sales people one chance after I inform them to leave the neighborhood and if I don’t see them leave I call the police (non-emergency). Our police love nothing better than to run them out of the city. (It’s low effort positive community policing).

My husband laughs about my ‘kill count’ every year. I think 5 in one summer is my record. The good news is that the number of scammers has gone down considerably since we moved here. I’m a little shocked I haven’t had a brick through the window though…

I do exempt neighborhood kids fundraising for school, sports, and scouts… I’m not heartless

I have had the same sort of experience three times now, and it is not a pleasant experience at all!

I don’t open the door unless expecting someone or a delivery now.

I didn't open the door last time they came round but I saw on the video doorbell he opened the porch door and tried the inside handle. Dodgy AF

If I get caught out I just say "sorry, I'm busy, can't talk to you now" and close the door.

I had one very persistent guy a few years back, telling me I need roof repairs (I don't) and when I turned him down, he helpfully offered (!!) to tar my drive for me. I said no, I don't have the money to do it, and he skedaddled.

Police here say to ring and report if you get a Nottingham knocker. We have a village police box and according to the fb group the police do tend to respond quite quickly if available and send the knockers off.

Quite. I agree.

I got sucked in my one once. Told me the oven gloves were superior quality, endorsed by the Fire Service.

They were from Poundland.

I can't remember if it was the same time or another one, but a lot of the questions, on reflection, seemed to be fishing - "Have you a dog? I have x,y,z" "I have luggage scales,care you going on holiday?"

I have a sign underneath the door bell saying nonsales people.

You can't be living in England. We never see local police any more where we live. They only investigate crimes if they can do it from their office over the phone or by getting CCTV footage.
Last year after about 7 houses called about a group of 60+ drunken teenagers partying in the park, one police car turned up 3 hours later, near midnight, and the teenagers left ran off. The police said as they 'hadn't caught them' smoking dope, drinking, urinating, blasting music, climbing on the cricket pavilion roof etc they could not do anything. DH pointed out there were two behind them urinating against the cricket pavilion as the police were saying it. The teenagers were too drunk to run away. The police had a 'Right son, get yourself home' chat and didn't even take their names. When we asked why they said 'We'd just have to fill in hours of paperwork and nothing would happen'. We complained to the Police and Crime Commissioner who could not even get Northumbria police to tell her in writing what actions they had taken.

@LuluBlakey1
Horrible experience for you but I'm so glad you mentioned the potential for a Zombie Apocalypse and have a partial plan even if it is dealing with it yourself, I too have a plan so let's team up when the Zombie Apocalypse hits (I thought I was a woman standing alone) 😁

Our local force also asks to be contacted on 101 when they’re in the area.
it goes on local Facebook pretty quickly in the village though, can guarantee there is always one fool who will claim it’s all genuine, they’ve fallen on hard times and what harm re they doing.

I am scared but am confident that, as long as they are of the slower variety, I am capable of being a Michonne/Carol from The Walking Dead. I'd happily team up. DH would be good on heavy work- carrying supplies to a truck, building boundaries etc with his dad. I'd have to sort out the zombies, at least at first. FIL would be like Herschel. DH is no Daryl Dixon.

@LuluBlakey1 No not England.. I’m in the US. Like I said the police are happy to do it because it gets them out into the community and residents notice that they are working for them.

It’s an easy call to handle … they just come up on them explain the ordinance and take their details. No paperwork. I think they do feed the names to the ‘businesses’ back to the permitting office as potential scammers. So it helps on the back end too. Not to mention preventing the follow on crimes from those that use ‘selling’ as a way to case a neighborhood.

I had a run in with a Nottingham knocker years ago. I was bathing the baby so ignored the door but he started banging and ringing the door bell so much I thought the house must be on fire or there had been an accident or something so ran down to answer it with baby wrapped in a towel.

He had even stepped into my porch and was banging on the inner front door.

When I told him he was out of order he got really sweary and aggressive and I had to threaten to call the police if he didn't leave.

I have no idea why but I laughed quite hard at ‘Nottingham Knocker’ 😂😂 it’s not supposed to be objectively funny but it is. I’m probably alone in that though.

If I answer the door to someone and it’s not someone I know or delivery man handing me a parcel I just say “no thanks” and shut the door again without engaging with them at all.

If I want to buy something/become a Jehovah’s Witness /get my gutters cleaned I will Google the appropriate service and ask them to come to me at a suitable time!

And some people on here wonder why some Mumsnetters don't answer the door to every random who happens to knock or ring the bell. This type of thing is part of the reason!

We have a porch with a clear glass door which I leave locked as I mime, “I have no money,” with such a pitiful look on my face.
😉
It works every time. 😁

Are there not any who have just come out of prison and are trying to earn a living, though? Some years back I bought a shower cleaner thing from a guy who knocked on the door, because I felt sorry for him. It was a hot day and he had a really heavy bag. A couple of hours later I was out in the car and I saw him again, carrying his bag and sweating up the hill about half a mile away.

A few years ago a youth with a hold-all full of cheap dusters and the like knocked on my door. He didn't say anything but produced a very grubby piece of paper; apparently his parents and sister had died in a car accident, and he was the sole survivor. He'd been mute ever since. I told him I was sorry to read that, but I wouldn't be buying anything from him at the door, whereupon he told me to eff off. He was not pleased when I said that I had been witness to a miracle on my own doorstep, and was still using his new-found voice as he left...

YANBU. He's clearly trying to gip you.

We've gotten quite a few travellers coming round our door trying to sell us their overpriced roofing service.
I shut the door in their face.

I've luckily never had one of these - lots of charity collectors at the door though.

I think it's weird they say they've just been released from prison, as I wouldn't want someone who was potentially violent or a thief near me or my family. Rehabilitation needs to be a bit more structured than selling door to door.

I have three snakes , I can see from one of my windows ,if it looks like a scam , I grab the biggest one nearly 5ft fully grown , chilled as anything but it works a treat as they go white and soon shift .

If I can help it, I don’t answer the door to them. I’ve had some really frightening experiences with them. It’s not okay to feel or be threatened on your own doorstep and the whole practice should be made illegal. Who is waiting for someone to come round with dusters nowadays?

The ones that I have had knock before claim to be ex convicts trying to make a few quid.

They aren't- they buy the cheapest crap from the pound shop and sell it on for 10x the price. Total scam!