To labour in my nightdress

[Coolsummer25]

I’m due a baby girl late July. I’m a very private person so would like to labour in a nightdress and with my knickers on. Dh thinks I’m being ridiculous and says he’s never heard of woman doing labour this way and that I will be too hot etc.

I wore the biggest tshirt i could find from primark for both of mine. Ended up naked both times because i was so hot but I didn't really care by that point.

Please ignore your husbands anxiety, it's waaaay too controlling. Do you have a mum/best friend/ sister who can be your birth partner instead?

I had a couple of great loose t shirt style nightdresses with buttons at the top for feeding. Brilliant as covered but not too thick/warm. They washed well and did both my deliveries and post partum too. Mine came from mothercare in a two pack. I did wear pants to keep pads in as lots of meconium, very big very cheap full pants from primark i think 😁 had my nursing bra on too. L cup by then so a bit of restraint was useful.

Wear what you want to wear you can always remove stuff as you feel.

This is true, although not all midwives will wait for consent unfortunately.

Also, I was kept in the waiting area for 3hrs despite being in agony with no pain relief, and I was not admitted until I eventually allowed them to examine me, by which point I was 7cm. So you made need to "consent" to be allowed treatment.

A bit random, but have you thought about a stretchy Maxi dress? I gave birth in one of these the first time around and it was great. I could hoist it up or pull it down to whatever height felt comfortable throughout the labour.

I would ask your DH kindly to stop passing his birth anxieties on to you. If he has a great female family network to chat about these worries then that's great. He doesn't need to be making suggestions about putting bloody catheters in from the get go!

You both need to go in with less rigid ideas. Go with the flow.

Wear a comfy nightdress/long baggy tshirt and pants if you like. I did the same (no pants though- pointless). They may need to monitor the baby in various ways and when you're uncomfortable and in pain you won't be arsed with putting pants back on all the time. Inhibitions will go right out the window.

Be prepared that you might be so loopy/in pain/hot that you won't give a flying fuck anymore anyway. I laboured with only gas and air and ended up completely naked. I was in agony and so unbelievably hot. I stripped without even knowing what I was doing. You just don't care.

Trust me, you won’t give a crap what you’re wearing when you’re in full blown labour. I ended up basically naked with an open robe on and didn’t even notice.

I wore a vest top with my first in the pool, I didn’t want my knickers on though. Do it however you like!

The second I didn’t make it the to hospital, I had him fully clothed and stood up. my knickers came off so my husband could catch him.

Wait, what? 😂

What the fuck

Is he worried you'll flush the baby away?

This. I thought I'd feel really exposed and vulnerable but by the time DD was coming I genuinely didn't care what I was wearing (ended up being nothing in a pool) or who was there. I just needed to feel unrestricted and get the baby OUT!

There's nothing wrong with your choice. Boohoo do some really stretchy maternity nighties with buttons which I swear by!
With regards to your pants - even after my waters broke in a big gush at home, the water sort of keeps on coming so I took mine off at the first opportunity because they were soaked. Something worth considering. Plus you might also not like the restrictive feel of pants at that stage. Take spare pairs and don't be disappointed if you change your mind. Your nightie will keep you covered anyway.

This is of course entirely your choice.

However, it would be in some ways beneficial to your care for the midwife to be able to see what is going on prior to crowning. For example, baby's position and how your perineum is coping with the stretching.

It can also help you in being guided when to stop pushing as your baby crowns, to help prevent tearing.

(I have delivered many babies!)

I laboured both of my girls wearing a vest and just had a sheet over my lower half, so I wasn't just "exposed" but it was easy for the medical staff to examine, etc

But if you want to keep your baby safe you should allow them too.

Wtf?

Just tell him that as you are the one in labour, you'll.decide what to wear and whether you can reach the loo.

You will find that when the time comes you will go with the flow.

I decided to wear a hospital gown on the basis there would be mess and I'd get something that wasn't mine messy.

packed a clean shirt for DH when DD was born as DS pooed all over him when put in his arms

His opinion is totally irrelevant as he’s not the one doing it. Wear what you want op

@Bel43 thats a fair analysis. I completely forgot tbh that my labours were only 11hours and 6 hours each - pretty much full on from the start for both.

I gave birth in a hospital gown twice. Only once was a c-section.

I’ll be honest, with my non-sectionI can’t remember actually taking my knickers off, but they must have come off at some point…

I wore disposable pants with a thick pad, absorbed the leaking waters.
To be honest I was in and out of the pool so totally naked but had to go up to the clu in the end so wore my nightgown then.
Yes it did get covered in blood and baby urine so make sure you take a few nightgowns with you.
Really do recommend the disposable pants and pads though for after the birth as well there will be a lot coming out.

You'd be uncomfortable keeping knickers on as they will be wet.

I wore a nightdress and pants. Wore the pants and had to keep changing my pad because my waters kept coming the whole time I was in labour. Only took pants off to be examined, at which point it was pushing time anyway.

Got stitched up, then kept my pants off while it was just me, DH and baby. When midwives came back to move us to postnatal ward I got up, had a wash in the sink with paper towels and water (my legs were too much in shock to manage a shower) and put new pants and a fresh pad on.

Hope that helps!

Honestly, OP I wouldn’t give this anymore headspace. When the time comes you honestly won’t care a few hours in. I took a 3/4 length nightie/nightshirt in with me but ended up just getting in the birthing pool and winging it. The lighting is very dimmed and I kept a vest top thing on over my boobs. Knickers come off once labour gets going and taking them on and off is the last thing on your mind.

although not all midwives will wait for consent unfortunately

That’s assault then 😳

as I understand it, its his sister(s) who have been telling him what the OP should be doing. As I said before, why is he discussing his wife's birthing wishes wwith his sister(s)?

It really depends on the situation. Lots of women may not be keen for regular, routines vaginal examinations during their labour, especially if everything has been straightforward and many midwives are completely happy to support this (although
of course the woman has to give her permission regardless of how the healthcare workers feel). I can totally understand why some women may want to decline them, especially if they have past trauma etc.

But even if you are totally happy having regular vaginal exams, I still think it’s helpful to know that you only have them done if you give them your consent and permission, you can say stop at any moment and they have to stop.