Hate it now Dd is at school

[Thesunscomingout]

Dd is 5 and has just started going to Pre school full time in preparation for September, when she’ll be in every day. I just miss our time together so much and those slow days. I work part time around her and fill my days with chores, work planning, dog walks and sometimes seeing friends, but I miss it being just us and the places we’d go and activities we’d do together. The weekends are busy and she’s always with neighbour friends or we have parties etc, it was just different when just us. I’m feeling the change in our bond as we’re not together a lot of the time now

This is why people have another!

If you aren’t working ft then you’ll have the holidays together, at least 13 weeks a year. Presumably she’ll be off pre school in a month or so until September.
School days are short. Still plenty of time to spend together.
But she needs to grow and develop her own interests and friends.
Could you spend more time with friends, volunteer, look for more work or more interesting work.

Indeed! I have a 4 year gap and was back doing baby classes after the school run! Though that baby is going to start preschool in September so I do understand you OP. I'm going to be starting an OU course and finally getting my pre-baby body back with lots of gym time. We make a point of keeping weekends as family time so it's most often spent doing trips out with DH and the dcs rather than with other dcs.

I hear you OP.

my only advice is: Your DD is still young so you can still make the most out of any time you’re getting together and enjoy it to the fullest, even if it’s not every day.

Part of parenting is letting them grow. Its hard sometimes, but its about them, not us.

I've just dropped my 12yo at the shopping centre to go shopping with friends for the first time. I can't admit this in real life... but I had to resist hanging around.

I agree this is why people have another but also you now have time to focus on future proofing. Get back into your career.

In a while you'll enjoy a bit of time to yourself

It's hard. Especially with one. Or with the eldest. My eldest is 11..the other 3 are 9, 7 and 5.

Everything is new with my eldest. Everything he does for the first time is the first time for us too. He's starting secondary school in soetember and it gives me a mix of emotions. But when my tigers do the same u don't have such a strong emotion as I have been there and know they will be ok. If that makes sense?

Are you planning any more? Maybe find something you love to do.

Weekends don't have to be filled with neighbours and party's. We say no to many party's. We can't do them all. So we do best friends only or in their immediate friendship group. Then spend the weekend together.

I can’t have anymore unfortunately 😌I definitely would if I could, I think that makes it harder

@TheBottomsOfMyTrousersAreRolled Future proofing?

i mean pre school isn’t compulsory so a good compromise is to only use pre school when you’re at work?

Hugs @Thesunscomingout make your weekends more for you too. Drop the party's and be more selective etc. They don't need to go to all of them

After year 1 they tend to drop a lot of them anway.

@Rookangaroo4 agree. Not sure on England system but I'm in Scotland and lots of us flexi school. So mine goes three days and misses Thursday, Friday morning. I find it a good balance and she gets best of both worlds

@Rookangaroo4 Yes it’s not compulsory, we’ve always done three days in, two off, but all the other children seem to be in full time and her teacher writes on every report how it would be beneficial to be in full time, I just feel like I’m not doing the right thing by keeping her at home? I thought it would be good preparation for September when they’ll be no choice and she’ll have to be full time

@hjrl I’m abroad, how old is your dc though? My Dd will turn 6 in the summer, I notice no one does part time, I don’t want to hold her back in any way

Please let her go OP and develop your own interests. It's not good for your daughter that your life is so intertwined in yours. Was it for your best interest or hers that she doesn't go to full time pre-school?

Smothering her is a sure fire way of making sure you really do lose that close bond.

But if you work part time around her, why don't you fill the empty hours with... working, so you can be available when she is not at school?

I mean the school day is short, so if you are working at all that is all you will have time for.

@Thesunscomingout same as yours.

I will keep it going as long as it works, likely forever.

She does the core lessons Monday to Wednesday, she is given homework, no concerns over her learning.

One teacher always passes comment at parents evening that her Thursday workbook is empty. It's full at home!

I would say a third of her school use flexi. Rural.

She's 5, not 15.....

It's an adjustment OP and adjustments can be really hard even if it's the right thing to do.

I think you need to start putting yourself first a bit more, can’t you work more hours? What did you do before you had her? Just because you’re a parent don’t lose sight of being you.

Children grow and their world gets bigger. You can't hold her back. My ds is 15, he's taller than me now and starts 6th form in September.

He heads off for whole weeks at a time - school exchanges and skiing. In two years he'll disappear off to university and I'll only see him a few weeks a year.

The trick is to plan your newly available time in advance. Get a job or do a course in something. Start a business or volunteer for a charity. Life moves on and you have to move with it. xx

I'm guessing g preschool is a lot more formal where you live if you're talking about workbooks and turning 6 (its for 3/4yos in England, and just play based really, school starts at 4 but again us play based).

Does she enjoy preschool? That's the most important thing.

@shepherdsangeldelight I have lots of interests and lots to do, we have a busy, full life, but those days together were special. It was/is just so not compulsory and I work some evenings and a weekend day. She likes it there but would stay at home given the chance for a couple of days
It was the perfect balance but now I feel maybe we should prepare for September, but then the other side I think, there’s only two months left, make the most of it with her until she does go full time for the rest of her days

@Meadowfinch I understand that, but 15 is a bit different to just 5, she’s still young