Hate it now Dd is at school

[Thesunscomingout]

Dd is 5 and has just started going to Pre school full time in preparation for September, when she’ll be in every day. I just miss our time together so much and those slow days. I work part time around her and fill my days with chores, work planning, dog walks and sometimes seeing friends, but I miss it being just us and the places we’d go and activities we’d do together. The weekends are busy and she’s always with neighbour friends or we have parties etc, it was just different when just us. I’m feeling the change in our bond as we’re not together a lot of the time now

I thought the whole point of posting online is you’re asking for other people’s opinions and experiences

@Welovecrumpets Oh for sure and I welcome those, but your replies seem extra personal, as @SlashBeef says there is some projection going on

I don’t think I’m projecting. I think your post goes a bit beyond the ‘aww will miss them now they’re at school’ with all the talk of changing bonds, considering part time and ‘hating’ the fact she’s going. I just think you need to let her grow and develop without holding her back with your feelings.

I'd absolutely put her back to part time in pre-school. Enjoy this precious time with her now.

@ManchesterGirl2 Do you think she’ll be prepared for everyday in September though? That’s my worry

To be fair to the OP it's perfectly possible to hate a life transition like this while conveying nothing to the child. I remember crying a few summer nights before my older one started school while only ever being positive about it with them.

@WhatNoRaisins Oh, she has no idea, I’m very positive with her about everything

My daughter went tearing up the playground towards the doors on her first day at school. For a moment I wished she had clung on to me like most of the other children but then she turned and ran back to me. 'Don't forget to come and get me.At half past twelve.'And she ran away again.
I was pleased she had the confidence to run into school but was a little lost. She had been my little companion for 5 years. And now she was joining the rest of the world.
Don't let that lost feeling get a grip on you. She has to learn to to interact with new children, new adults, new games and lessons. She'll come home every day bursting to tell you what happened, what she learned, who did what.
You'll learn to answer the huge range of questions she'll want answered about something she learned at school. She'll be your little girl for a while yet.

I understand OP. I'm abroad too and my eldest is in pre school. I absolutely miss when it was just the two of us. And had lots of mixed emotions when they started. It's surely a normal part of being a mum, so I don't understand why certain posters are being weird and acting like you've been smothering her!

I rememberer asking a mum of six if she was looking forward to her youngest child starting school and giving her more time to herself. She said No as she loved having small children round the house with her.

I don’t know. My kids are older now but they never went to any sort of pre school or nursery as I was a SAHM. They started school at 4 anyway and reception is a play year so that’s the year for learning about friendships and socialising. I mean they all settled perfectly into reception, making friends easily and are well rounded, kind, sociable teens/young adults.

When they get to 16-17 your be kicking them out the door just to have peace lol.
In my home it use to be 2 of us then 3 of us then back to 2 of us now it just me.
I do enjoy having an empty home now.

That's what I was going to say! Lots of people having this kind of age gap now.

When I was on mat leave with DC2 it co-incided with the summer before DC1 started reception. We had a lovely month together with no work, no nursery, no school and I still look back at that time 9 years on with immense fondness. But you can't keep your children young forever. We find time now during the holidays to do our own thing around all the other commitments and it still works.

@KickHimInTheCrotch Special days ❤️

Mine just did 3 days a week the year before Reception. Worked for us. Would have increased it to 4 days in the last term but then Covid happened!

The time IS precious but tbh school days and even terms are short, and the Summer holidays are really long! You will be in a new phase soon of world book day costumes and Times Tables Rock Stars and Dojo points and that will be great too.

If you're not feeling your career anymore maybe it's time to think about re-training and doing something new? You could get yourself a new notebook and new pencil case in September and think of it as you are both embarking on new life stages together.

It is very special days indeed. Enjoy your children when they are young. Mine are grown up and the youngest will be leaving this year. The thought makes my heart ache, eldest is living away.

Enjoy them while you can. You never get the time back.

Take her out of pre-school full time then! I loved the summer with my DD before she started school, put her down to two days, you won’t be holding her back. Spend the next four months doing wonderful things with her. Don’t pay for childcare when you’re at home trying to fill your days with chores, that seems mad.