Pictures in the downstairs loo

[Grocer]

I'm trying to do up the house a bit (lots of blank white walls & a general lack of love).

I got a little collection of family things to put up in the loo - all in nice frames. Few old postcards. Couple of baby pics. One (small) wedding photo (no professional or flashy - just a nice casual photo taken by my mum).

Started to put them up (nice bank holiday job) and DH said he thinks obnoxious when people put pictures of their own lives in the loo - like we are showing off - and if i want to put up a wedding photo it should be in our room.

I guess my AIBU is two-fold really - do people agree about downstairs loos?

But bigger question is does my DH get a say in all this stuff when he doesn't do anything himself? He doesn't suggest or buy anything for our house or do any DIY at all - but he does have a habit of telling me my ideas are terrible, a lot.

After ranting for 10 minutes about how much 'i bloody hate the idea' - i then put the pictures back in the drawer and he said 'do it if you want. i'm allowed to give my opinion though'

But it's pretty hard to crack on with something when you know the person you live with 'absolutely hates it'.

I know he can give opinions - of ocurse he can- but jsut feels like everything i do i have someone telling me how shit it all is.

Also, i am interested in whether people agree that family pics or litte pictures/postcards in the loo is obnoxious?

I agree, is the loo not the place we are meant to put our degree certificates, graduation photo, and paid for industry awards? With maybe a photo of us meeting a celebrity? A glorified trophy cabinet that you piss in.

I think you should have discussed what you would both like to be up on the wall in the loo and come to a compromise. He could have been a bit nicer in the way he has said it, but I agree that I don't like photo's of people in the loo for some reason.

We have photo's instead of places we have visited as a family.

Our downstairs loo has my late DH's collection of NASA space photos which he put up there and as yet I haven't been impelled to change, even though they're not really my taste.

I've never heard of anyone putting photos in the loo before. I think I'd feel I was being watched. Pictures or postcards in frames are fine.

For people who feel like they're being watched...do you have the same feeling about photos in the bedroom?

I agree with him. I think its odd. Display your family things where you'll enjoy them as a family. It is a bit show off putting them in the toilet where any guests are pretty much guaranteed to be sat having to look at them.

I also think its a bit of an issue that you don't seem to be able to have a grown up conversation without him ranting and you having a tantrum.

I would crack on with putting postcards etc up in the loo. And get a load of photos (including wedding ones) all around the house - I am sure there was some ‘research’ in the newspapers years ago about there being a correlation between number of family photos on display and happiness in the family relation.

I think putting family pictures on the loo is OK. It's only braggy when you put your framed degree certificates, or awards your children have won in there. That's the peculiarly humble-brag style of people who want everyone to know how wonderful and clever they are, by putting that stuff up in the one room that ALL their guests will visit, while making it look humble because It's only the loo, and not a shrine in the sitting room. But ordinary photos? Not big-headed at all.

Yeah I agree personal photos in a loo is perhaps a bit odd. If any pictures in a loo they should perhaps be quirky.

I like to have a good nose at peoples loo decorations. I agree family photos are better in the lounge or hallway but each to their own. my bathroom has a few seaside style decoration just because I love them and it goes with sort of the watery thing scheme!

Our family photos are in the living room, hall and the Echo Show .

In the downstairs loo I have a photo of my lifelong love )PopStar) that my DH hates but he ignores it

I thought the “done thing” is to hang your degree certificate, college photos, Bullingdon Club and Eton house photo, Nobel Prize (and those belonging to umpteen generations before you) or whatever in the loo, and displaying them anywhere else is showing off 😂

What l have seen in other people's houses are;
Pictures of their children with a water theme eg. jumping in the waves sort of thing
One family are big into fishing and have pictures of themselves/ kids with their catch..getting prizes etc. All one wall.
Like all those.
I wouldn't put up the wedding but maybe postcards with a water theme.
But it's difficult to get motivated again now you have stopped.

A nice framed print, landscape etc I think is nice. Personally wouldn't have family photos, although a nice pet one would be ok.

Someone I knew had a framed poster -
I miss my ex husband
But my aim is improving

Walked out with a smile.

I have abstract Alice in wonderland pics in loo with sayings on them. But is it just personal photos in loo he doesn't like idea of- or pictures and photos anywhere?

I don't get it
How on earth is having photos of your family "showing off"

Presumably pretty much everyone who uses your loo will be aware you have a family so not sure how photos confirming their existence is "showing off"

showing off usually implies something exceptional that others should be jealous of - as lovely as I'm sure your family are OP, just random photos of kids making funny faces/a wedding doesn't really meet that. Unless the photos are of different members of your family holding their Oscar, or waving their GCSE straight A certificates around then I can't possibly see how anyone could consider them showing off?

I agree that usually if there are 2 adults in a home they should both have some input in decoration - but 'I don't care' can count as an input. Either your DH makes a suggestion as to what he would like, and puts in the effort to source said decor and put it up, or he lets you get on with it. For me 'no I don't like that,' would be met with 'well what do you want to do then? If you've got a better alternative, let me know, if not the photos are going up tomorrow.'

If you can’t put family photos up in your own house where can you put them?? But if m not a fan of them you n the loo personally.

Almost snap - I have a large picture of a multicoloured giraffes head above the loo. !

It's not showing off to have family photos of your own family in your own home. I like looking at other people's photos and seeing how they've changed. No idea why your DP cares especially since you're doing all the hard work. If he offered to help and pick out paintings etc that would be different. Plus you should want to show your family off.

No issues with wall art/photos in the loo - but not family pictures.

Think that’s a bit gross given what the purpose of the loo is. Why put them there? So people can pour over family memories while pooping?🤢

… just asked DH and he thinks family photos in the downstairs loo is ‘fkn weird’ too.

Yes, this is what I was going to say — lots of (ostensibly) self-deprecating degree certs, professional qualifications, industry awards, summiting Everest photos. I can’t remember who it is, but I seem to remember someone saying in an interview they kept their Oscar in the downstairs loo.

I agree with this.

I've never gone into someone's home and thought anything other than "ah that's a lovely picture" when they had pictures of their families. What a bizarre attitude from your husband.

There have been graduation ones, professional wedding ones, fancy holiday ones, funny moments etc. I can't understand why anyone would think negatively about them and if they did, that's their problem!

I would seriously be telling him that unless he has a different, better idea and is prepared to do some of the work, he needs to keep his opinions to himself. No rights without responsibility - if he takes no responsibility, he has no right to moan to you. Hope he is more useful in other areas of life, otherwise, why are you with him?

Has he always been a joyless, unimaginative, controlling prick?

I think you should just crack on and hang them.