Called. Fu****g C**t today, by a stranger....

[ablueberryaday]

For context before I start the thread, I have a non-visible condition whereby my knee rubs in its joint socket causing swelling and often unbearable pain (awaiting surgery). Although not necessarily visible, it is extremely painful and often hard to walk logically distances and inclines.

Anyway.

Today, I was in the shopping centre waiting for the lift with around 15 others.. most with children and buggies. After around ten minutes of waiting (and the lift visibly going up and down and skipping the floor we were waiting on) it stopped. The family at the front of the queue went in, and there was a small gap to the front of the lift that no other people in the queue could fit into (all with children and buggies)

I was waiting in what would have been 3rd in line with two families ahead of me. One lady with 2 children, a double pram and a man, and one lady and man with three small children and lots of bags..

Nobody else moved for a while to go into the space in the lift, and so I politely walked around the front of the queue and slid into the (very small) space. I apologised as I moved past the people in the queue ahead of me, whereby the family with the three small children smiled, but the ones with the two children and double pram glazed awfully.

As we waited for the lift doors to close, the woman started shouting at me. She called me a selfish 'fucking cunt' for skipping the line and that I'm clearly not disabled and don't have children so why the fuck can't I use the stairs like everyone else. Her husband held her back as she was practically spitting her words at me.

As the doors finally closed, I just burst into tears. I was so so embarrassed. I know my condition may not be noticeable from the outside, but daily I live with excruciating pain and really need the lift today. I always try my best to use the stairs when I can, but today it was just not possible.

Am I being unreasonable?!

I'm sorry this happened to you, OP. It's not uncommon - I had similar at work.

I do supply in a very large secondary. I asked for a lift pass because I'm in my 60s and have patella alta, meaning that my knees can spontaneously dislocate while I'm going downstairs: I've had bad falls in the past. I also have a bit of arthritis - the knees make spectacularly loud noises at times.

I was targeted by a pack of 14/15 yr old bullying girls hanging about the lifts. Start off as "What you looking at?" etc. (Yes, they were skiving; yes I reported it.) I dealt with it as best as I could, but you don't have a lot of power in a school that doesn't allow staff to issue lines or punishment exercises and you're only on supply.

It stopped eventually: they tried to con/coerce me into using my pass to let them access another room. I refused. Then: "Why do you NEVER use the stairs? Why are you ALWAYS using the lift?"

"I have mobility problems."

They left without saying a word.

Err, no. She doesn't owe anyone an explanation and lifts are there to be used by everyone.

Exactly. It’s ridiculous.

I was waiting for the lift in London Victoria because I had a very heavy large suitcase and other bags and I heard a woman with a teen say “let’s get the lift since I’m carrying a heavy bag” it was a normal sized plastic bag that didn’t look very heavy but I don’t know what was in it. Still, I didn’t judge her.

Lift opened and piles of people went in including people with no buggies or suitcases or visible disabilities/mobility aids etc. There was no space for me so I just decided to wait for the next one.

This woman with the teen shouted about “selfish people” who didn’t need to use the lift and stormed off. It was so hypocritical. I could easily have judged her for trying to take the lift but I didn’t and here she was judging others.

End of the day people should just mind their business. In this day and age we know many disabilities aren’t visible. Someone could have long covid or anything. Wait for the next lift - simple!

I always think, if people behave like that in public, what on earth are they like at home?

End of the day people should just mind their business. In this day and age we know many disabilities aren’t visible. Someone could have long covid or anything. Wait for the next lift - simple!

Maybe there should be one of those Government Health Education drives, to educate people about this. There is no way that I am explaining myself to anybody, if I need to use lifts, instead of taking the stairs. Some people are too quick to judge, just by looking at someone.

This makes me so angry. He hit you while you were holding your tiny baby. People are fucking vile. I’m so sorry this happened to you. ♥️

I've had similar experiences, OP, and I know how much it hurts. Please keep telling yourself that her outburst speaks volumes about what a nasty, ignorant and rude person she is.

Life with disabilities, both hidden and not, is hard. Many people are unsympathetic, evendownright discriminatory, but you never have to explain or justify yourself. Why should you have to discuss your medical history in public with strangers.

OP, the woman was clearly out of order and there are more horrible stories on here. Everyone getting ratty with shopping. I don’t experience this in shopping centres because I do all the shopping I can online. Why do people drag their young children out shopping I really do not understand.

@KreedKafer whether she has a bad knee or not is irrelevant. The lifts aren't only for buggies or the disabled! They're there for everyone to use.

The people in front of her couldn't fit in the space, she could. It's not queue jumping.

its just common bloody sense.

@ablueberryaday YABU to give the rude bitch a second thought!

Even if you didn’t have a knee condition, it would have made sense for you to squeeze in where they couldn’t. More space for them in the next lift.
Poor kids being dragged up by embarrassing (at best), nasty, argumentative parents like that.
Dont let them upset you for a minute more x

No one gets to call someone a cunt. She’s most probably just a nasty person. I know plenty like her who have zero pride in themselves. She embarrassed herself. If she’s ND the same applies!

Honestly, i'f i'd witnessed this, she's the only one i'd be judging. So what if she was annoyed at how long she'd been waiting, she and her family couldn't get in the space, and you could, so you did the reasonable thing and got in.
Sometimes fairness doesn't work on first come first served basis, it's all about circumstances, she wouldn't have benefitted from the space being unused and you staying in line behind her.
It's not like supermarket queues where someone with a couple items assumes they can just push past someone with a trolley whose unloading their shopping (Yes I've had a very unpleasant man do this, he shoved me into the side of the counter getting past too) you weren't hindering her in any way or making her wait longer.

Also feel really sorry for her kids with a mother that aggressive and willing to shout such awful obscenities infront of them. If i'd been a parent in line i'd have been outraged at her using that language in front of my present kids too.

My sympathies, i also have a hidden disability and need a blue badge but look healthy, and whilst i've not had comments yet, i've had dirty looks and people pointedly looking in the car to see if i've got a badge when getting out in a disabled bay. Think the only reason i've dodged comments so far is because my carer is always with me and is 62 so they assume the badge is his.

I got this when I went up to London with my disabled dm in her 80s on underground at Kings Cross using lift. Being questioned. I was with her to help her as it was quite busy.

Nothing like you experienced.

Please don't let this bother you. I'm recovering from a serious leg break & injury & walk incredibly slowly. Been learning to walk about 8 weeks. OMG! People are awful. Nearly got mowed down on a supermarket zebra crossing by an impatient taxi driver, insisted on driving over it behind me in the end. People tut at my slowness. Supermarket I drive people mad. But, I need to learn to walk again & gain my confidence by going out. My husband wants to buy me a yellow vest that says injured & in recovery as it all drives him mad. I've never felt sorrier for disabled people. Put it down to their ignorance not yours.

Get a walking stick.

I'm disabled and mostly use a wheelchair.

In my experience if you are upright even if you haven't moved people assume you are able bodied

I've been asked "why did you bring that wheelchair" (um, it's mine and I can't walk?)
And "do you need to use the lift" (yes)

If you have a walking stick then people assume you are disabled. It stops the abuse.

I have several. None help my disability and I actually find it harder to walk with them but I do use them for the reasons above.

Even if you were able bodied, you would still have been perfectly fine to use that space that nobody else could use rather than continue waiting in line.

I completely disagree with everyone saying you should say you've got a disability. Nobody else is entitled to that information and you are deserving of respect without disclosing your disability - the problem here is that you came up against a feral woman who is happy to scream and shout obscenities in public, the problem is not that you didn't tell everyone your personal medical history.

She was probably having a difficult and stressful day especially if the children were young that she was shopping with. No excuse for the vulgar rant in front of everyone though. Some people can get very annoyed when people jump the queue, especially if they’ve been waiting a long time. This is what she thought you did even though you said that they couldn’t fit in the gap. I personally would have waited until it was my turn because I would have felt that it was rude to squeeze round the other families waiting. Did you speak to them before squeezing past? If your behaviour was seen to be acceptable then others from the back of the queue could have then surged forward to squeeze in the gaps every time the lift stopped too. She should not have ranted like that and I hope you’re feeling better now but like I said, if it was me I would have waited.

@AlmostAJillSandwich

I agree totally with other posters on here

I amagine she is like this with others too who she percieves that she can get away with her type of attitude behaviour..

Just think 🤔 she is clearly a deeply unhappy person and she has to live with that herself 24/7

She was proberly looking for someone to unleash inflict project her issues onto to feel better temporary...

I'm adhd and asd and so far in my 42 years I've managed to never scream at anyone that theyre a fucking cunt in front of children.

I am so sick of people suggesting ND as being a reason why people act like this in public. That's disablist in itself, it demonizes ND people as being unable to control themselves and that we will just be as offensive as we want and expect everyone else to be ok with it. Unless we know she's ND, can we stop suggesting it as a reason for a one off example of terrible behaviour?

What a delightful woman! I would imagine she behaves like that on a regular basis and you just happened to be in her line of fire today. You didn't do anything wrong and I wouldn't have thought anything of you squeezing in the space, it just seems sensible to me.

Some people are just awful!

I was in a long queue to get off a cruise ship last year in Southampton. There was a couple behind us and the man was horrible. He didn't stop complaining about the wait, we were asked to move to one side by staff to let an elderly couple through, the husband was in a wheelchair, obviously frail and on oxygen I imagine they had a special taxi waiting or family to take them home.

Horrible man behind us started kicking off about the elderly couple having preferential treatment etc, his wife was clearly embarrassed by him. This went on for some time.

I use a stick for my chronic illness and was having a bad day, as we were walking down to collect our cases we were stopped by a staff member to let a fork truck pass, angry man started laying in to the really lovely lady about the couple seconds we had to wait for it to pass, I felt so sorry for her.

I then started walking through the suitcase collection area, angry man muttered loudly "can't she walk any faster" at me. As you can imagine that pissed me off a bit and so I slowed down and walked at a snails pace. Petty I know but it was a lovely feeling getting my own back on him.

OP some people are arses and you met one of them unfortunately

I’ve noticed more public hostility in recent years. It’s becoming a really unfriendly out there. Even more road rage too.

OP it isn’t your fault but maybe you could get a badge to wear? Or speak up if you’re feeling able to?

i have a hidden disability and visited a National Trust beach recently. The car parking woman told me to shut my door so she could instruct the next car to park closely. I was in the middle of getting out but I was a little slow due to my disability. She told me to hurry up or leave!
I explained that disabilities can be invisible and she said I’m too young for that - she then moved on to bark at another car.

it was so humiliating! I complained but the NT weren’t even that apologetic

She was probably having a difficult and stressful day especially if the children were young that she was shopping with. No excuse for the vulgar rant in front of everyone though.

You just excused it by saying she was having a difficult day. How is that the op's problem that her kids are stressing her out? If she can't control herself when stressed, it's up to her to manage her own stress levels and not scream at strangers.

It also literally says right there in the op that she apologised as she was moving towards the lift, so yes she did speak to them.

It makes no sense at all to leave a gap in the lift that can fit a single person when a single person is waiting.

She sounds dreadful. Some people just have no idea how to behave in public. 🤦🏼‍♀️ YANBU!

How awful to swear like that in front of kids.
Her behaviour says more about her than your disability.

What a horrible experience.

If she was so concerned about lift etiquette, why didn't she, or her husband, use the stairs? Surely it doesn't need 2 people to operate a pram? It would have freed up space in the lift. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Some people are just ill mannered and will never change.