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AIBU?

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Original poster

Called. Fu****g C**t today, by a stranger....

122 replies

ablueberryaday · 05/05/2024 21:23

For context before I start the thread, I have a non-visible condition whereby my knee rubs in its joint socket causing swelling and often unbearable pain (awaiting surgery). Although not necessarily visible, it is extremely painful and often hard to walk logically distances and inclines.

Anyway.

Today, I was in the shopping centre waiting for the lift with around 15 others.. most with children and buggies. After around ten minutes of waiting (and the lift visibly going up and down and skipping the floor we were waiting on) it stopped. The family at the front of the queue went in, and there was a small gap to the front of the lift that no other people in the queue could fit into (all with children and buggies)

I was waiting in what would have been 3rd in line with two families ahead of me. One lady with 2 children, a double pram and a man, and one lady and man with three small children and lots of bags..

Nobody else moved for a while to go into the space in the lift, and so I politely walked around the front of the queue and slid into the (very small) space. I apologised as I moved past the people in the queue ahead of me, whereby the family with the three small children smiled, but the ones with the two children and double pram glazed awfully.

As we waited for the lift doors to close, the woman started shouting at me. She called me a selfish 'fucking cunt' for skipping the line and that I'm clearly not disabled and don't have children so why the fuck can't I use the stairs like everyone else. Her husband held her back as she was practically spitting her words at me.

As the doors finally closed, I just burst into tears. I was so so embarrassed. I know my condition may not be noticeable from the outside, but daily I live with excruciating pain and really need the lift today. I always try my best to use the stairs when I can, but today it was just not possible.

Am I being unreasonable?!

OP posts:
Rumplestiltz · 05/05/2024 21:43

There was a thread earlier about how angry and rude people have become. I guess it is part of that. You did nothing wrong. Please don’t be upset.

EmilyTjP · 05/05/2024 21:43

Also, since when are only disabled people or people with children allowed to use lifts?

Original poster
ablueberryaday · 05/05/2024 21:43

Rumplestiltz · 05/05/2024 21:43

There was a thread earlier about how angry and rude people have become. I guess it is part of that. You did nothing wrong. Please don’t be upset.

Oh it wasn't me, but sad to see that others are subjected to it too.

OP posts:
Bournetilly · 05/05/2024 21:44

I don’t think you need to explain yourself at all, even if you didn’t have a disability it’s none of her business. I probably would have just said ‘I’m on my own please can I squeeze in.’ Just ignore her though, how embarrassing for her.

neilyoungismyhero · 05/05/2024 21:44

I think I would have said sorry and offered her the space just to see what she did...or just asked initially if anyone in front of me wanted the space and if not would have just got in. Either way she was a complete idiot.

XenoBitch · 05/05/2024 21:45

You didn't do anything wrong, and it is understandable that you were upset by how she reacted.

But a few people saying this lady sounds "deranged", or is a " unhinged lunatic".... she could have her own issues going on... and that could be something like having a shit day, to being ND. Some ND people have strict rules, and struggle when other people do no adhere to them.

EmilyTjP · 05/05/2024 21:47

XenoBitch · 05/05/2024 21:45

You didn't do anything wrong, and it is understandable that you were upset by how she reacted.

But a few people saying this lady sounds "deranged", or is a " unhinged lunatic".... she could have her own issues going on... and that could be something like having a shit day, to being ND. Some ND people have strict rules, and struggle when other people do no adhere to them.

Being ND is not a reason to be able to abuse strangers.

Apollo365 · 05/05/2024 21:50

XenoBitch · 05/05/2024 21:45

You didn't do anything wrong, and it is understandable that you were upset by how she reacted.

But a few people saying this lady sounds "deranged", or is a " unhinged lunatic".... she could have her own issues going on... and that could be something like having a shit day, to being ND. Some ND people have strict rules, and struggle when other people do no adhere to them.

This isn’t an acceptable excuse.

XenoBitch · 05/05/2024 21:52

EmilyTjP · 05/05/2024 21:47

Being ND is not a reason to be able to abuse strangers.

Show quote history

I am not saying it is an excuse, but it could be a reason.

I have had a gob full of abuse from a young adult who thought I was pushing in. His mum rushed over and explained things and apologised.... her son was ND, and pushing in is against "his rules".

suburburban · 05/05/2024 21:54

How awful of her especially in front of her dc

Hope she is ok

suburburban · 05/05/2024 21:54

Mean hope you are ok OP

LindorDoubleChoc · 05/05/2024 21:55

ablueberryaday · 05/05/2024 21:23

For context before I start the thread, I have a non-visible condition whereby my knee rubs in its joint socket causing swelling and often unbearable pain (awaiting surgery). Although not necessarily visible, it is extremely painful and often hard to walk logically distances and inclines.

Anyway.

Today, I was in the shopping centre waiting for the lift with around 15 others.. most with children and buggies. After around ten minutes of waiting (and the lift visibly going up and down and skipping the floor we were waiting on) it stopped. The family at the front of the queue went in, and there was a small gap to the front of the lift that no other people in the queue could fit into (all with children and buggies)

I was waiting in what would have been 3rd in line with two families ahead of me. One lady with 2 children, a double pram and a man, and one lady and man with three small children and lots of bags..

Nobody else moved for a while to go into the space in the lift, and so I politely walked around the front of the queue and slid into the (very small) space. I apologised as I moved past the people in the queue ahead of me, whereby the family with the three small children smiled, but the ones with the two children and double pram glazed awfully.

As we waited for the lift doors to close, the woman started shouting at me. She called me a selfish 'fucking cunt' for skipping the line and that I'm clearly not disabled and don't have children so why the fuck can't I use the stairs like everyone else. Her husband held her back as she was practically spitting her words at me.

As the doors finally closed, I just burst into tears. I was so so embarrassed. I know my condition may not be noticeable from the outside, but daily I live with excruciating pain and really need the lift today. I always try my best to use the stairs when I can, but today it was just not possible.

Am I being unreasonable?!

Of course you're not being unreasonable, so why are you asking?

LauderSyme · 05/05/2024 21:56

I always think it's such a shame when people who behave with such ignorance and aggression are parents with their kids in tow.

She really showed herself up. Awful behaviour from a terrible role model.

Original poster
ablueberryaday · 05/05/2024 21:56

@LindorDoubleChoc

I was asking if I was being unreasonable for taking the space available in the lift that nobody else would have been able to use.

OP posts:
bilgewater · 05/05/2024 21:57

She does sound unhinged. I'm sorry OP, I know it doesn't necessarily help, but it's definitely her not you. Imagine behaving like that in front of your children. If she's like that in public, what on earth must she be like at home?

It reminds me of some vile abuse shouted at me in Charing Cross Station one afternoon last week. I was strolling at a normal pace towards one of the exits and a man crossing the hall about 10 metres away decided that I was going to collide with him. He called me a stupid fucking bitch and to look where I was fucking going. Plus a number of other unpleasant things. From 10 metres away. Utterly bizarre and unwarranted, but again, very definitely a him problem.

featherlampshade · 05/05/2024 22:00

This says way more about her than it does about you! She sounds awful, one day hopefully she will speak like that to the wrong person

brentwoods · 05/05/2024 22:20

It wasn't que jumping as no one else waiting could use that space. Like at Disney when they look for a single rider to fill in an empty seat and move them ahead of couples and families who want to ride together. You were fine.

SillyLemonZebra · 05/05/2024 22:24

ablueberryaday · 05/05/2024 21:23

For context before I start the thread, I have a non-visible condition whereby my knee rubs in its joint socket causing swelling and often unbearable pain (awaiting surgery). Although not necessarily visible, it is extremely painful and often hard to walk logically distances and inclines.

Anyway.

Today, I was in the shopping centre waiting for the lift with around 15 others.. most with children and buggies. After around ten minutes of waiting (and the lift visibly going up and down and skipping the floor we were waiting on) it stopped. The family at the front of the queue went in, and there was a small gap to the front of the lift that no other people in the queue could fit into (all with children and buggies)

I was waiting in what would have been 3rd in line with two families ahead of me. One lady with 2 children, a double pram and a man, and one lady and man with three small children and lots of bags..

Nobody else moved for a while to go into the space in the lift, and so I politely walked around the front of the queue and slid into the (very small) space. I apologised as I moved past the people in the queue ahead of me, whereby the family with the three small children smiled, but the ones with the two children and double pram glazed awfully.

As we waited for the lift doors to close, the woman started shouting at me. She called me a selfish 'fucking cunt' for skipping the line and that I'm clearly not disabled and don't have children so why the fuck can't I use the stairs like everyone else. Her husband held her back as she was practically spitting her words at me.

As the doors finally closed, I just burst into tears. I was so so embarrassed. I know my condition may not be noticeable from the outside, but daily I live with excruciating pain and really need the lift today. I always try my best to use the stairs when I can, but today it was just not possible.

Am I being unreasonable?!

No. She is unhinged and vile and I think more and more people are like this. This is why I hate leaving the house. I’m so sorry this happened to you. She’s even more vile for doing that in front of kids and in a confined space and the fact that you are actually disabled must have made you feel even more vulnerable (slower at getting away from her for example).

Sending you massive hugs. She is one of life’s arseholes. That’s all. It’s not you it’s her. ♥️

EnglishBluebell · 05/05/2024 22:33

I'm sorry OP. I have Parkinson's and have had very similar experiences. I have a blue badge and once in a shop car park, because I was holding my DC after parking, an old guy came up and hit me over the head with his walking stick and began shouting at me for using disabled. When I said I have a blue badge I was immediately accused of using someone else's. They then forced me to go back to my car and show them the photo on the back or else I'd "get more of this" and showed me his walking stick.
I very, very nearly dropped then-6 month old DD. I did call police but I was told they wouldn't come out unless I had witnesses. They said they didn't have the resources to go into shop to look at CCTV Confused Bloody disgusting. He laughed his head off when he saw the picture of me on the back of my badge. No apology or sheepishness. Just called me names

SillyLemonZebra · 05/05/2024 22:34

XenoBitch · 05/05/2024 21:45

You didn't do anything wrong, and it is understandable that you were upset by how she reacted.

But a few people saying this lady sounds "deranged", or is a " unhinged lunatic".... she could have her own issues going on... and that could be something like having a shit day, to being ND. Some ND people have strict rules, and struggle when other people do no adhere to them.

This always baffles me. You do know you can get nicked for screaming and shouting aggressively at people. It’s called a public order offence. Couple that with: it was in a confined space. The OP felt vulnerable AND this was in front of her own kids and other peoples. Doesn’t bode well. Maybe she can explain to the police about her bad day next time she wants to be a FUCKING BULLY to a disabled woman who was minding her own business. So stupid.

Pussycat22 · 05/05/2024 22:36

ablueberryaday, I'm sorry to say this is the world we live in today.

EnglishBluebell · 05/05/2024 22:37

@XenoBitch And I would've given her a full dressing down about teaching him that despite being ND, he simply cannot go round enforcing his rules on and policing other people. I have a DC with autism and she is taught how to behave in public.

Copperoliverbear · 05/05/2024 22:41

You should have had a got back at her, I would have waited downstairs for her, I wonder if she'd have been such a mouthy Cunt then.

TTPD · 05/05/2024 22:42

I was so so embarrassed

Anyone who witnessed it would have thought she was absolutely insane, and that she should be embarrassed.

Even if you had unreasonably pushed in (which you didn't), screaming that someone is a fucking cunt is an unbelievable overreaction.

WingsofRain · 05/05/2024 22:43

XenoBitch · 05/05/2024 21:45

You didn't do anything wrong, and it is understandable that you were upset by how she reacted.

But a few people saying this lady sounds "deranged", or is a " unhinged lunatic".... she could have her own issues going on... and that could be something like having a shit day, to being ND. Some ND people have strict rules, and struggle when other people do no adhere to them.

That is absolutely no excuse for behaving so appallingly to the OP. ND is not a passport for unacceptable and ableist behaviour under any circumstances.