Husband doesn't like me to invite DD's friends to house for play dates

[cellardoorie]

My DD is 4 and goes for a school nursery. There are a lot of school events on, where I've met various parents and their children through the school year.

DD has some friends, I have friendly chats with the parents regularly. There have been many birthday parties too etc. it's all seeming quite familiar.

DD goes 5 days a week and often parents ask to do play dates.

Sometimes we go to the park or whatever but sometimes I would just quite like to have play dates at home. I find it more relaxed and I also have a younger DD. It makes it a bit easier all round.

Apart from my H who doesn't want to have people over, ever. I've only hosted one play date with school friends.

We know a couple down the road who also have kids the same age and we've gone to theirs and they've come to ours a few times too. He also gets annoyed about it.

Anyway, I get it that he doesn't want people in the house every weekend. But occasionally it shouldn't be such an issue ? I remember having friends round pretty much constantly as a child and loving it. It was just what we did. Our parents didn't constantly take us out to activities and parks etc. our friends would come or we would go to their houses and just play together.

What does everyone think ? How do you handle a partner who can't be bothered to have people over ? But also doesn't want to go out on play dates much ?

He sounds selfish and nasty.

He needs to be clear - he wants your dd to be socially excluded from her peer group for his convenience, does he?

The key thing here is you are child free.

If you choose to have children, I think you have to be prepared to host play dates sometimes. It's selfish and mean to your children otherwise.

Poor man well, I guess this is going to be his parental sacrifice to allow his child to have play dates.

He can be reassured that even the dodgiest stranger will be OK with the other child in someone else's house.

This!

Personally I would far rather host playdates in my own home where I knew the kids were safe than have DS go to someone else's house.

My exh was like this with my DC, I ignored him and play dates were reciprocated
It's important to DC to have their friends around and show them their toys etc and it's only polite to return invitations
DH needs to get over himself quite frankly
In a couple of years, the DC will be able to come unaccompanied so it won't be an issue
Everyone is a stranger until you get to know them
YANBU

He's gonna have to get over himself his daughter is a person with her own needs and wants . These will increase as she gets older , he doesn't own her . So often parents will treat children like they own them ,they don't .

Being a parent means being open to new opportunities. You end up meeting all sorts of people you wouldn't otherwise meet - sometimes they enhance your life, and sometimes they are nightmares. It's best if he gets his head round that now.

@Onetiredbeing that's us. And our daughter is only 4. She spends all week with them at school and attends dancing lessons on a Saturday morning. We visit family and do family things or just chill/have some downtime.

OP When I was younger, I used to go out with my friends in the street etc and every so often had people around after school for tea.
Very much liked my time at home.
I wouldn't have liked to have my friends around all of the time.

It's a couple of years max until the norm would be to drop and run unless you are friends with the mum too.
Does he try and stop you taking her out to meet up with friends.
Personally, almost all of my social life involves other mums and I would feel very isolated when I can't meet up.

Play dates are quite rare here especially before school age so I don't think it really affects dc's social life too much. They are with their friends all through the week after all. I am with your DH, especially at weekends. I'd rather be spending our weekends exploring places as a family than being stuck at home looking after someone else's kids.

Oh, for Christ's sake, what does he think is going to happen?!