Hes Bent as a nine bob note

[Pleasehelpmefindagoodusername]

I have a relative who says this every time a gay or camp person comes on the TV. It's annoying. Aibu to be fed up of it?

It was a common saying years ago, but of course you're not unreasonable to be tired of hearing it. Have you ever asked them not to say it?

Yes you are definitely not being unreasonable to be fed up of people being homophobic around you. However, I always thought that saying meant someone was dodgy/criminal which means I’ve understood it wrong my whole life!

@Goldfinchtriad I thought same as you

I thought it meant " bent" as in " bent copper" not gay.
So he may have it wrong anyway.
Sometimes we fall into speech patterns and keep saying the same things over and over without even realising. .
Say " yes you keep saying that and it doesn't even mean gay , if that's what you mean. And who even cares"

I'm in my 60s and can confirm that I used to hear it used for either a person perceived to be gay OR a person believed to be a criminal.

Which says a lot about perceptions of gayness…

Each time, say ‘And is that a problem for you?’

I always thought it was meant as someone's behaviour was dishonest. I'm from the SEast in case it's regional.

In terns of challenging his bigotry, here is support to go right ahead and tell it to him straight (pun intended).

It's tough my IL are racist. They dial it down in front of me but not because they think it's wrong....

I don't even think he's using it right. It's bent as in dodgy not bent as in gay.
If someone tried to pay you with a 9 pound note it would obviously be counterfeit. That's where the analogy comes from. He's not legit.

https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/bent_as_a_nine-bob_note
Apparently it means both

It does mean bad ... no
Such thing as a 9 Bob note, so if you saw one it would be illegal, it's a bit like saying it's as bent as a 90p piece ... no such thing so it's illegal

Maybe you should say back to them 'takes one to know one...' and see how that affects them!

In my neck of the woods, ‘bent as a nine Bob note’ means has criminal tendencies! Whereas the term ‘camp’ would be seen as homophobic.

Instead of coming here to do abit of virtue signalling, why don’t you tell them you’re getting fed up with it?

Wow, not heard that for years. Yes, both bad and gay.

Of course you’re not unreasonable to be annoyed by homophobia. Or irritating relatives in general.

It's something my dad (who would have been 80 this year) used to commonly say about people like Larry Grayson or Kenneth Williams in the early 80s. He grew up as a teen at a time when being gay was illegal (or at least gay sex was).

Not acceptable nowadays though.

I'd still call him out on it in the tone of "I don't think that means what you think it means" it'll embarrassed him and he'll have to explain that no he is calling some one gay. Might make him think twice before using it again.

It used to mean gay, as well as crooked.

Its a phrase I use but in regards to something (or someone) fake/scam/fraudulent.

Its not nice to use it in regards to a persons sexulity, although it used to be.

I would point out it's not a nice thing to say about a person's sexuality, and any case what does it matter anyway nowadays?

I’ve always thought this, nothing to do with being gay (although sounds like it has duel meaning).

Tell them to pack it in. It's not acceptable and saying so is important.

As an aside I also thought that saying meant crooked. On the take.

My dps and pils have a stock of awkward phrases and I find it’s very effective to ask what that means, because when they tease out the meaning of the idiom they have to think about what they’re saying and how their current views align (or not) with older phrases.

We are all products of our cultures. I hope my dc will continue to challenge me too.

You could say 'Yes, isn't it marvellous that people are free to be themselves these days?'.

Every time he says it, laugh and say “ Oh grandad, no one says that any more , we say “ gay”, you sound about 90, get with the times “ .

Then keep repeating it ( in a slightly Patronising tone if necessary ) “Don’t you remember grandpa , we told you about this before , I think you need to speak to the doctor, your memory is going “.

IME the “ politically correct “ argument doesn’t work with older people and they can double down. But the “ are you getting dementia” one does .

It means bent as in crooked - like a forged banknote, which a 9-shilling note would be, as no such note ever existed legitimately. It makes no sense when applied to sexuality, so your relative is both homophobic and a bit thick, which is a frequent combination, I find.

I've always heard "he's as straight as a five pound note" which explicitly refers to sexuality