Hes Bent as a nine bob note

[Pleasehelpmefindagoodusername]

I have a relative who says this every time a gay or camp person comes on the TV. It's annoying. Aibu to be fed up of it?

He will probably say it all the more if you pull him up on it, or something like it being a free country/freedom of speech. These old sayings are often offensive by today's standards, eventually they will die out.

Another one who grew up hearing this used as a reference to criminality. Double annoying from your homophobic relative.

It may be regional as in Scotland it was definitely used to refer to people who were gay not dodgy in a doing things illegal sense. Bent = gay, or used to in the 80s at least where i lived.

Again, not acceptable today but this whole "well it doesn't even MEAN gay" - yes it did.

Call it in. Why do you need to say that? Why is that relevant? Etc

My father (I don’t speak to him any more) says ‘you have an Arab mentality’ or tells anyone he disagrees that argues back that they are ‘being an Arab’ or ‘using your Arab side of the brain’. I looked up Arab mentality at aged 14 or something and found it meant honour, generosity etc and so I called him out every time - he will say he’s a feminist (apart from calling anyone with a short skirt a slut) or anyone of colour (a blackie) etc and say he is just stating facts etc and he will argue he is not a racist.

So call it in every time and if he won’t stop you have a choice - walk out every time or tolerate it. I wouldn’t. But I can’t stand it.

Yes. Gay men were also referred to as benders, although it (and bent) is not a term I’ve heard used since the 80s. Very outdated.

I’m old enough to remember the ten shilling or ten ‘bob’ note! £1 pre-decimal was the same as 20 shillings, so 10 bob was the equivalent of 50p nowadays. The nine bob note analogy stems from that.

It was definitely a term used about gay people too.

But from a historical context, when certain sexual acts were illegal - in fact, I believe they were so even when done by a heterosexual couple - you can see how the juxtaposition could have come about.

Regardless of how the law may have changed drastically in the modern day, if 'bent' was then understood to mean 'regularly and habitually breaking the law', would it have technically made a difference which then-applicable law(s) the person was regularly breaking?

Me too

Anyway the correct 😉 phrase is as camp as a row of pink tents

I've personally never heard it used in this manner, to me it means a wrong un.

I would think it was more commonly used to mean a criminal.

I’m in my 60s and can remember “bent as a coat hanger” being used for gay men but haven’t heard it since the early 90s.

I've heard the terms "Gay as a yellow duster" and "As gay as Christmas" used by gay people themselves to describe levels of gayness. Neither has the negative impact of "bent".

Might you suggest one of these if he absolutely must?

Have you challenged him?

My MiL used to say "silly bitch" whenever there was a strong female character in a tv show. Absolutely hated female detectives in particular but it could be any woman doing a "man's job".

We lived with our inlaws so I ended up leaving the room when she'd get like this because I wanted to turn and say she was the silly bitch for being so backward. I didn't because other than this she was a lovely individual. But it did make me wonder what she thought of me as I've never been a shrinking violet.

Haven't heard that since I was a child in the 70s when it meant bent as in criminal tendencies.

Is your relative very very old @Pleasehelpmefindagoodusername

Obviously homosexual slurs are never on, but as "bobs" went out in the early 70s I've never heard anyone other than my long dead grandparents who used bobs use it. (and as I said, about criminals)

remember Homosexuality in the 60’s was illegal & you could be put in prison for it. So fits both criminal & gay scenario's.

Me too!

Just ask them why they seem to be so good at spotting gay people.

So what does he say when you call him out on his homophobia?

He’s not even using the expression correctly. I remember my uncle being prone to the following comments back in the 80s.

’he’s more camp than a row of pink tents’
’more camp than Baden Powell’

Sometimes he’d even go with ‘ooh he seems like a nice boy’.

He meant no harm but looking back it was somewhat cringe.

Or I see your gaydar is workin😉

No. It absolutely meant gay

Being of that generation I can say it always meant gay

Never heard of it used as relating to criminals

Think he mixing up ‘a bender’ with the phrase for dishonest person, eg. A 9 bob note is not legal tender and is a counterfeit that’s been printed wrong.