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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To message neighbour?

88 replies

Possomoppossum · 04/05/2024 19:34

I've lived where I have for the past 2 years and recently a guy has moved into a flat underneath me.He seems single and the other day,passed me his phone number in the hallway.At first,I was a bit shocked and didn't think to do anything,however,we both appear single,why do I feel like this is a mistake ready to happen? He seems lovely,is fit and very polite,is it just too close for comfort if things go wrong?

OP posts:
Zombella · 04/05/2024 19:43

Are you sure it's not just so you can message him in case you have a leak in your flat or something? Or did he make it clear it was in case you fancied a date?

ByUmberViewer · 04/05/2024 19:45

Wait for him to ask you out

Original poster
Possomoppossum · 04/05/2024 19:45

No,he passed me his number and made it obvious to call him when I was bored and fancied a bit.Is it wrong,am I overthrowing the potential problems?

OP posts:
Original poster
Possomoppossum · 04/05/2024 19:46

Overthinking

OP posts:
ShrubRose · 04/05/2024 19:46

Oh, I didn't see the part about being bored and fancying a bit.

Yes, call him if there's a leak in the tap!

😂

ZipZapZoom · 04/05/2024 19:48

I wouldn't. It's likely to be very uncomfortable if it doesn't work out.

He also doesn't sound like much of a catch. Sounds like he's looking for a FWB situation if he told you to call him if you're bored and fancied a bit.

Jeschara · 04/05/2024 19:50

No neither would I.

Original poster
Possomoppossum · 04/05/2024 19:50

Yh but I have a 10 year old and don't want a relationship so in theory,a fwb thing could work.Im just worried about how close to home it is if things go wrong.

OP posts:
ShrubRose · 04/05/2024 19:51

Possomoppossum · 04/05/2024 19:50

Yh but I have a 10 year old and don't want a relationship so in theory,a fwb thing could work.Im just worried about how close to home it is if things go wrong.

If FWB is all you want, I would look elsewhere. Anything for a quiet life.

Original poster
Possomoppossum · 04/05/2024 19:54

My sensible head says to leave things alone but he's hot and is it a really stupid thing to start doing?

OP posts:
ZipZapZoom · 04/05/2024 19:56

Possomoppossum · 04/05/2024 19:50

Yh but I have a 10 year old and don't want a relationship so in theory,a fwb thing could work.Im just worried about how close to home it is if things go wrong.

If you're after a FWB situation then definitely not on your own doorstep. You could get that pretty much anywhere else without all the potential pitfalls.

Abigaillovesholidays · 04/05/2024 20:01

This is such a tricky one! A couple of years ago, I started socalising with the guy who lived in the flat below mine. It developed in a friends with benefits thing which suited both of us at the time. For various reasons we would never have been in a realtionship and I was open with him about wanting to start a family etc. He was totally fine with our situation ending but then when I began dating my partner and he came round I found it so awkward! I was worried about meeting in the hallway etc I was worried that my partner would think badly if he knew or wouldn't want to come round. So my advice would be think about what you are looking for in the future. If you aren't likely to be starting a realtionship then go for it!

Bogeyes · 04/05/2024 20:09

Don't crap on your own doorstep

Scousefab · 04/05/2024 20:14

Yep I wouldn’t go there - you will be making a huge mistake! Wait to be wined and dined! Xx

AliceOlive · 04/05/2024 20:16

No, no, no.

Dacadactyl · 04/05/2024 20:17

He sounds bloody awful.

I wouldn't care how fit he was, his attitude is gross.

If you value your peace of mind, don't get involved with this absolute chancer.

The cheek of him!

EmoIsntDead · 04/05/2024 20:18

It’s never a good idea to shit where you eat

cakecoffeecakecoffee · 04/05/2024 20:19

Definitely no!

he could turn out to be a nutter. Or it could be really awkward.

AtrociousCircumstance · 04/05/2024 20:20

God, NO!

ArchaeoSpy · 04/05/2024 20:27

thats the pickle if its on your doorstep and it goes wrong

Ginkypig · 04/05/2024 20:38

I haven’t read past the first post

my gut reaction is dont shit where you eat!

it might be totally fine but if things go wrong or he turns out to be a weirdo this is your neighbour and you’re stuck putting up with whatever comes of it unless you can just up sticks and move easily.

im friendly with my neighbours, I might have a chat in the street with them or if they need to borrow a whatever fine or I have a couple of disabled or elderly who I have offered to occasionally pick up milk or bread etc if their shopping delivery isn’t correct or if there’s snow and they can’t get out etc.

but I am not friends with my neighbours, I don’t go to theirs or they don’t come to mine.

there’s plenty of opportunities out there for a women’s needs to be met without a neighbour fulfilling them.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 04/05/2024 22:58

No way. He’s probably a normal guy but imagine he turns out to be a creep or aggressive or abusive or have stalker tendencies etc. It would be awful to know he was so close if things turned bad and there would be no easy way to avoid him.

Kingoftheroad · 04/05/2024 23:10

Youre assuming that this nice, polite man only wants a FWB relationship.

If you really don’t want a relationship just be honest and let him know nicely.

determinedtomakethiswork · 04/05/2024 23:41

He passed you his phone number in case you fancied a bit one night? Did you see that as a compliment?

Helplessandheartbroke · 05/05/2024 00:33

He gave you his number incase you fancied a bit? I would run a mile but it's your choice. Just make sure you use protection if you do!