About Friends wedding

[Scottishdreams1991]

Friend is getting married overseas next year which will be a childfree wedding. All good. Since it will be expensive and ultimately take our hoilday fund away. Dh and our 3 dc will come to so we can also have a hoilday. completes different hotel and roughly 20 -30 mins away from wedding. The plan was i would go to wedding etc while dh and dc do something else for the day.

Friend has told me that its not OK.
im i missing something here?

YANBU, she can’t stop you. She won’t she even know if you’ve brought them or not.

What is she objecting to?

Yanbu, I’ll frankly tell her to stuff her wedding.

Child free and overseas.... Jeez, the level of entitlement baffles me these days. The destination weddings we've done have all been family based. There was still a stag do one night, hen night the next so kids were OK.

Did she realise that you've booked a separate hotel? If you were all at the same hotel as the bridal party and you had kids, I would understand some concern even if they weren't attending.

Why does she think it’s not ok ?

This is next level Bridezilla.

Is it somewhere you would actually want to holiday with your family if it wasn't for her wedding? I'd be very straight with her that as a family you are making a sacrifice to come to her wedding, that your family being 20 minutes up the road during her wedding has literally no impact on her, and that if she can't appreciate this then you're not coming at all.

She could shove her wedding up her arse

Has your friend misunderstood and thinks you’ll bring the kids to the actual wedding? If not she’s a batshit bridezilla, and I’d just say sorry I can make it then. Tbh I wouldn’t bother doing what you plan to in your position, childfree destination wedding surely means you accept most people with kids don’t come.

Can't see what the issue is. If you get married abroad you need to be realistic - some guests may need to compromise others may not come at all. At least you're making the effort to be there.

That would be my cue to decline the wedding and go on holiday with my family. She’s being absolutely ridiculous.

I presume it’s that she’s worried that either you’ll try and sneak them in or you won’t be available for all the pre and post wedding hoopla?

Either way your idea was completely appropriate, sensible and a lot more than many people would be willing to do for the sake of a friend’s wedding.

Forgot to say we also done day trips which was mainly families done one thing, singles/olders did something else.

i Can’t even understand what she could possibly think is not ok about this! I would honestly tell to go and jump up her own bum!

Eh? She can think what she likes. She can't stop people from travelling and staying in a hotel away from her wedding.

I just wouldn't discuss it with her anymore. She just doesn't need to know any details, does she?

Or is it that both you and your dh were invited and he won't be coming because he's with the dcs?

Is there any way she misunderstood and thinks they are staying with you at the venue?
Otherwise she is bonkers, and I would take that as my cue to uninvite myself and save sanity and money.

What!? So are you the only one invited? But bridezilla has vetoed your family flying out to her precious wedding destination? Tell her to get tae fuck. 😂

I think you have a wonderful plan! How odd that your friend is having issues. You didn't demand your kids attend the wedding, you didn't refuse to go (which would be perfectly reasonable as no bride or groom should expect everyone can arrange or afford to attend a destination wedding), you plan to be there...your friend sounds controlling.

What's her issue with it, OP?

You probably have to stay at the official hotel because that is how they pay for the wedding. The more rooms they sell, the more they get comped. Sometimes the hotels don’t even allow outside guests to attend the wedding or require payment of a high resort fee to enter the property.

Well that sounds mental and in those circumstances, I'd give it miss

Who does she think she is?!

Are you going to ruin her big day?

Tell her wind her bridezilla neck in - in a polite manner.

She didn't misunderstand
At a guess as she normally is sane is she might feel some guilt that my kids and dh are close by but not invited. Otherwise i dont know as it really is a fair way to do this

You are missing the part about telling the bride that you are not coming and that you and your family are going to spend you hard-earned holiday money on something else.

What actual words did she use other than 'no'. What was the reason she gave?

Adult only weddings are bliss, in fact I'd sooner go to one. Children are children and they ruin formal events. (I am child free).

Weddings abroad are also fine if that's what the bride and groom want.

But they also have to understand and accept that both of the above will more than likely result in quite a lot of guests not attending.

Same with the whole hen do abroad bollocks. Don't get me started on that!