Were you liked or disliked at school, and did it have an effect on you?

[symonsays]

I’m just interested. I am only ever (occasionally) in contact with maybe 5 people that I went to school with, and only regularly in contact with one. I notice from social media that many others remained close friends even after university and still socialise together to this day, in large groups. We’re mid 20s for reference.

I always felt a bit of an outsider at school, I had probably 2 very good friends and 5 ‘friends’ but we’d never mix in the same group. I remember very clearly that there was a ‘popular’ group, one for girls and one for boys, the ‘nerdier’ kids who would also be in a group and it seemed that most people did have a group.

Did you? Are you still in contact? Do you think whether you did/didn’t had an effect on you?

We had a sporty/loser split in our school and I was both sporty and a loser and in both groups

I was, and am, a polarizing person.
People either like me a lot, or not at all, so while I have always had friends and make friends easily, not everyone likes me. I struggled with it when I was younger, then somewhere in my 20's realized I don't actually care, and that made life so much easier
I am still friends with people from all stages of life, from little kid friendships, school, past work mates, and so on.
I'm mid 40's and still hang out with high school friends regularly.

I wasent hugely popular at school although I always had friend ,s they weren't hugely popular either as i grew large up and accepted myself for who I was I found more friends who were more like me.

I imagine if you and I met we’d be like those magnets that either attract each other or force the other away. 🤣 I’m similar and it’s a bit odd but I’ve gotten used to it over the years.

One thing I have found is that it’s a disaster if I join an organized thing. I think people like the theory of me but then the practical application goes a bit sideways. So now if I’m asked to join a club or organization I just decline.

I’m glad you have made a small
circle of friends - you’re absolutely right about quality over quantity.

hopefully you’ve had no more problems since your kids have move school.

It’s been absolutely fine since we moved to a more diverse area and sent the dc to a much much bigger school. I think at the very small village school we were just so different and I was so ‘absent’ compared to the other mums that we appeared as if something wasn’t right just because they had a very set way of things being done and we didn’t fit in. It was one of those situations where I just thought I’ll pick my battles and this isn’t one of them , it was time to move on and I’m glad we did.

I was bullied mercilessly at secondary school. From the first day to the last. Sometimes physically, but the majority of the time it was psychological. Everyone hated me. I still don't really know why!

I did make a couple of friends in year 10/11 but I have not seen any of them in years and so not really in touch anymore.

It was a pretty miserable experience all around and one I don't like to think about or dwell on. It has had, to a certain extent, a lasting impact on my self-esteem. Although I am happy and confident now, I definitely still don't naturally think of myself as a likeable person. I tend to assume people think the worst of me.

Luckily I moved to a (much nicer) school, in different town, to do my A-Levels and was able to reinvent myself (no one else from my old school came to the same school). While I wasn't overly popular during A-Levels, I made friends easily and I had a lovely (and fairly large) friendship group, and it was truly transforming to leave those years of bullying and torment behind and just to be happy going into school each day. It also made me value good friends and kindness.

I remember being absolutely terrified on my first day of 6th form. But I plucked up the courage to go and speak to a girl who was standing by herself. She was lovely. We are still friends now!

I was very badly bullied by a group of girls aged about 15. Afterwards, I had one or two close friends. However, I remember realising soon after that absolutely horrible period that I was generally very well liked. Not like a popular 'in' person. Just like someone who connected to lots of people easily. I think that was threatening to those bullies. I am still the same now age 45. I get on with people easily. Possibly because I genuinely enjoy other people and I am interested (nosey, really) in them. I am still close friends with one school friend and see others regularly. I often think that what I lack in romantic luck, I make up for in platonic friendship. I have never been lonely for mates. I am very grateful for that.

I wasn’t disliked but I don’t think I was liked.
I sat on my own a lot in class.
last to be picked in P.E.
i was average looking and not seen as cool.
i lived a bus ride away in a less well off area than I went to school.
I lived in a terrace house and the people I went to school with had enormous houses.
i wasn’t bullied though. Just on my own.
I hated it and went straight into work at16 due to high school.

I’m well liked at work but I haven’t got many friends outside of work.
I presume I’m just one of those people that only make friends when people are “forced” to be with me (like in a work situation) and then they realise I’m actually ok.
a mum at the school has tried really hard to be friends with me. I don’t know how to be now. I don’t know if I want it. It stresses me out.

Always the outsider. Badly bullied at junior school and some in secondary. Never really fitted into a grip at uni either. It crippled my confidence for years.

I'm I touch with one teacher that I got on with. And no one else.

I was horrifically bullied the whole way through secondary school. People I didn’t even know would shout abuse at me, trip me up in the corridor and spit at me, all day and every day. Apparently I was ‘posh’ (I wasn’t - it was just my disabled mum and me and we were poor - but I was polite and never swore), and I was a ‘boff’ (I worked hard and got good grades). I was beaten up, physically thrown out of classrooms into corridors, and after PE had my towel or clothes stolen whilst undressed and then was surrounded and had my body cruelly mocked. I blamed myself and felt deeply ashamed for being so unlikeable. I’ve realised as an adult that I’m autistic, which explains a lot. Despite all that I did make some good friends, mostly through an extracurricular activity at school, and stayed in touch with some of them. The bullying had a massive effect on my self-esteem though and even now as an adult I’m very wary of people and feel rejection acutely.

i met an ex the other day after 20+ years and had a catchup , dont think we will resume anything as she is married but then who knows.

that said school for me was more survival and building survival (psychologically) methods due to bullies etc

I wasn't one of the cool group, but I would say I was reasonably popular and had a good few friends. I was quite shy so acted the clown quite a bit. Apart from one really good friend (my only friend now really) I don't see my old school mates, but since we had a big reunion a few years ago I am facebook friends with most of the year, we send birthday messages etc, some of them meet in the pub now and again but I can't be arsed.

I was horrendously bullied in school. But I still have some amazing friends from that time.

I met some old school friends today. We left school 36 year ago.

Both liked and disliked depending on who you're asking; only one school I went to where I was the disliked wierdo; mostly because I spoke with an English accent, newly learned from my previous Californian accent and was probably a bit wierdo to my 1970s Scottish classmates; my first day I was asked if I was Protestant or Catholic, which was tough to answer as I didn't go to church. Called a swot but was still called in for 'truancy', yet still got the highest marks for the Jacobite Rebellions as it was interesting.

Whilst I remember that time, more because it makes me laugh inside at the irony, I fondly remember all of my schooldays, the good and the bad and no, even the bad doesn't affect my life in any way other than any 'experience' does.

Not particularly liked. I didn't fit in well

I haven't spoken to anyone from school in around 5 years and that was a chance encounter.

As an adult I am happy & confident but I was less confident through my early 20s.

This is so sad. I’m sorry that happened to you. ♥️

God some of these posts are so sad. I’m so sorry this was your school life. What a gang of utter wankers they were. ♥️

I don't think it even crossed my mind if I was popular when I was at school. I had my little gang of friends who I adored and I was happy with that. I also did a pretty good job instilling that into my kids too. Popularity as a teenager REALLY doesn't matter. Just be you.

I love this 😊

The kind of behaviour I faced was the sort where people often don't see themselves as having been a bully.

Deliberate exclusion

Everyone expressing reluctance at being partnered with you

Being ignored/given silent treatment, routinely

The thing where a common joke/taunt among popular boys is to say "x likes pin0cchio/ pin0cchio is your girlfriend" (as if its laughably comedic to suggest because clearly pin0cchio is sub human)

Damaging your possessions - especially if anything you dare buy from a trendy brand - because heaven forbid a dork like pin0cchio has the same shoes as Laura Smith who's cool

Really? I suspect this is a general wondering rather than a massive conspiracy theory!