If one of your adult kids won the lottery

[Hedgeoffressian]

If you have two grown children. One of them wins a substantial sum on the lottery. Your other child is very poor living from one pay day to the next and has to budget to make sure they can pay for life’s essentials. Would this affect what you leave your children in your will and would you leave the majority of your assets to the child who needs it most? Or would you split it between them evenly?

I personally would leave the majority to the child who has nothing. Would you do the same?

Disclaimer to add this hasn’t affected me in real life. It’s something I have wondered about though.

If I was the sibling who won the lottery I'd be proactive in asking my parents to remove me from their will so that my sibling can hopefully have some financial security later in life. I'd also help sibling out with a lump sum from the lottery win.

This is interesting.

my sibling and I don’t get on, he is quite frankly, an arsehole. Plus he is bad with money.

I can imagine my parents wanting me to share with him (they don’t need any money themselves) and if I didn’t they would definitely ‘equalise’ things in the will. I’d be cross tho, just because I don’t think he deserves the help. I wouldn’t expect him to share anything if he won, and ironically I don’t think my parents would equalise things my way in that case!

so I guess the crux of that dynamic is the inequality. Tbh I wouldn’t tell my parents I’d won because of this!

I would most likely discuss it, then make a decision.

out of interest - those saying they would expect the sibling to share their win….

what if they were just wealthy? Would you expect them to gift siblings money then? If they married well or had good luck with property etc….?

I cannot fathom why any parent of adult children thinks that adult should share with a sibling!!! What if your children hate each other? My kids are young so I don’t know how I’d feel.

I’m glad someone else thinks this.

i think it’s quite entitled to just expect a sibling to share with another sibling.

not sure what the answer is re the inheritance though; it’s so personal. Fairness is generally equality.

I think this too. If the wealthy child had made a lot of money on shares or bitcoin, would they be expected to share?

I think it’s very easy to say you would share fictitious money. It’s not that easy when it’s real.

All these people saying they'd share a lottery win 😅. Until the moment it lands and everything changes.

I also have a brother who is an arsehole and like you I wouldn’t tell my parents if I had won for this reason. Not sure what I would do if he was destitute though. Sadly can’t ever see myself winning the lottery so it won’t be a dilemma I will ever have to deal with!

It depends

Huge Euromillions win: leave to struggling Dc
Less than your overall estate: split equally

Is buying lottery tickets a shrewd financial decision? Fancy that.

My children would share their winnings I am sure so I would probably adjust my will to leave more to a disabled relative, would discuss with my kids first and feel confident they would agree.

I’m glad someone else thinks this

i think it’s quite entitled to just expect a sibling to share with another sibling

I also agree with this. Why are people meant to share everything?- not everyone has siblings that are even nice or decent people and they certainly wouldnt share with them if the tables were turned. This is exactly why I wont tell anyone when I win the lottery. Yet again, it's very easy to be generous with other people's money but I agree that in real life it works out very, very differently. There was a thread recently where someone inherited a large amount and gifted a chunk to a sibling and they constantly wanted more and more and more. It was emotional blackmail.

@DurhamDurham Ditto

Equal everytime unless of course you want your kids to fall out and possibly cut each other off

If I personally won significant money in the lottery I’d give my less well off siblings money anyway.

I’d be perfectly fine with money being split unequally in this scenario in my parents’ will (purely hypothetical as I have no parents and grew up in poverty).

DH is in the position where his DB has significantly less than us and expected to be left less (although this isn’t what’s happening). We’re not millionaires though.

Quite.

Its a bit odd in this imaginary scenario that the parents aren’t willing to share their life changing amount of wealth until they die- one child is in dire straits ? - yet they expect their offspring to do so.

A lot of people are automatically expecting the lottery winner to share with their sibling, but surely it depends on the amount and the situation?

If I won the Euromillions, then everyone would get a decent share along with several charities. Keeping that sort of cash would be more of a burden than anything.

However, if it was say £1m, I’d be less inclined. My sibling made several times my salary for years and made money on property and every single penny was either spent on enjoying themselves or lost due to bad decisions. Now we’re more even, I’m quite frugal and have spent a lot of money helping my mum out, whereas they are still spending every penny on themselves and are constantly skint.

Why should I give my financial security to them to fritter away?

However, if we were in that situation and my parent excluded me from the will on that basis, I wouldn’t mind.

I think the dynamic and situation is incredibly relevant. If your children have their own families - partners, children etc. It's difficult to know what will happen in the future. What if the wealthier sibling is better off because of their partner's income? Where do you draw the line of separation? What is the real difference in prosperity as well, it's all relative. If one child is penniless and one child is a millionaire then it is worth considering, but this is rare.

As much as a child is not entitled to an inheritance, a parent is not entitled to assume or involve themselves in their child's financial matters and circumstance if they are not asked for anything. What if a seemingly wealthy sibling experiences later difficulties - like long term health issues for themselves or a child? What if your other child wins the lottery after you have died? It's impossible to make provision for any and every scenario.

I think it is realistic to accept and be okay with the fact that siblings can have different outcomes and you have to hope you're all close enough to help out and share, but you can't expect anything. I would split my estate equally, within reason.

I think that money should not be a symbol of love, but a useful tool to be given to people who need it. So if one of my kids were very rich, for whatever reason, and another was poor, I would give more to the poor one. I would discuss this with both of them openly.

I think that problems come in situations like there because of a lack of trust or a feeling of favouritism. If both children feel completely loved and supported by the parents, money quite clearly =/= love.

This is what I'd do. It's a bit of a halfway house.

Both get left equal share, but I'd probably help out the poor one more while alive

A lot of people are automatically expecting the lottery winner to share with their sibling, but surely it depends on the amount and the situation?

If I won the Euromillions, then everyone would get a decent share along with several charities. Keeping that sort of cash would be more of a burden than anything

However, if it was say £1m, I’d be less inclined. My sibling made several times my salary for years and made money on property and every single penny was either spent on enjoying themselves or lost due to bad decisions

This completely. A "lottery win" could mean anything from 100 million (which I would share) to 500K which no, I wouldn't share, as that would buy a decent medium sized house where I live but certainly not a fancy mansion or anything luxurious and it wouldnt afford an extravagant lifestyle either. Lottery win is too vague to know as it could also mean like, 50K, which whilst a lovely amount I'd be grateful for, is hardly enough to keep you in untold riches for the next 40 years.

I don't understand why people would split it equally it's de facto favouring the better off sibling and assuming the other sibling is only hanging around their parent to get their hands on the inheritance.

I think the key is communicating why you're doing what you're doing. The problem is people are shocked by wills, and by that point there's no avenue to have your questions answered which of course is likely to breed resentment.

My parents have given my sister lots of financial help over the years. I don't begrudge it at all. I've never needed it and think I'm fortunate to have been able to be self sufficient. I'm sure had I needed help it would have been there. Their wills are completely 50/50 between us, but again I'd not be upset if they favoured her financially as her earning potential is much less so it would be more about an equitable split.

Regards a lottery win, I wouldn't expect anybody to share it with others and think it's weird to feel an entitlement to other people's money generally. I also wouldn't carve up a lottery win amongst my family and friends because I wouldn't want people to know.