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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not write a note.

89 replies

brightwell · 02/04/2008 15:30

Dd yr9, wants me to write a note to excuse her from pe tomorrow, beacuse she doesn't like hockey. She threw a major tantrum yesterday evening because I've refused.

OP posts:
sarah293 · 02/04/2008 16:35

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Blandmum · 02/04/2008 16:36

dd wasnted me to write her a note to her feench teacher to excuse her from homework.

I wrote explaining that dd had 'lost' the homework and that teacher was to give the HW to her again, with anything else she would liketo add, and dd would do the work as requested.

I don't get asked to write excuse nores very often any more

MaloryTowers · 02/04/2008 16:37

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Blandmum · 02/04/2008 16:38

F and Z, my son doesn't like washing his face, having a bath or brushing his teeth, and as a child cannot understand that these things will give him long term benefits. He is a child. I'm an adult. So I insist that he does them.

Wisteria · 02/04/2008 16:38

Well I'd love your life - I have to do things I hate every day!

It is character building, children are excused from far too much in my opinion these days.

Blandmum · 02/04/2008 16:39

MT, I have to resist the temptation to say 'Don't be so fucking ridiculous' when a teenager caught texting in a lesson tells me that they were 'Turing it off miss'

I don't like doing that, but I do it!

AbbeyA · 02/04/2008 16:40

You must all have pleasant lives if you don't do things you don't want to! I have nothing for a meal-I am about to have to go into rush hour traffic to the supermarket-I DO NOT WANT TO! I then have to cook the meal. The evening is going to be filled with paper work I don't want to do. I agree the school games puts you off, nothing will make me like team games but I did learn the importance of exercise and have found alternatives in adult life that I like.

AbbeyA · 02/04/2008 16:44

I agree Wisteria-children are excused to much these days-there is too much emphasis on rights and not enough on the responsibilites that go with them. Taking part and joining in is good for you.There are not enough chances in school for games, PE and exercise, especially when they don't do much at home.

MadameCh0let · 02/04/2008 16:44

You're doing the right thing not giving in to her tantrum. But GOD I hated hockey and netball. Torture, torture, torture.

It was about ten yrs after leaving school that I realised, actually, I do not hate all sport. I only hate team sports. I like running and swimming. Circuit training. Even a step class if I'm in the mood. But I was nearly thirty before I tried any of these things because school poisoned me against all physical activity.

Perhaps you could do a deal with her. Take up another sport and you'll let her off the hockey.

pointydog · 02/04/2008 16:48

Hockey good
Writing note bad
There

Ripeberry · 02/04/2008 17:22

Must have been a very naughty child then, because when i was 13yrs old i used to write notes for other friends so that they could be excused as i had the most joined up writing in our class.
My Mum used to keep me home if it was games in the afternoon as she needed me to take HER shopping.
It was because she had Agrophobia and could not go out without someone, but she had no friends she could take at the time.
AB

2shoes · 02/04/2008 17:23

yabu
it is horrid when you hate a sport. I made so many excuse to get ds out of football.

OverMyDeadBody · 02/04/2008 17:39

The thing is, even if you'd written the note, it wouldn't excuse her from PE for the whole term so at some point she would have still had to take part, so there wouldn't be much point letting her off one time would there?

I hated hockey at school and there where girls that would hide in the wardrobes in their rooms (boarding school) rather than take part in some of the winter sports we had to do. Lots of girls where mystirously ill whenever we had cross country training that's for sure!

bluefox · 02/04/2008 17:50

School PE put me off all forms of sport for life. We only ever seemed to do cross country or hockey and I still have nightmares about the horrid dirty communal showers we were then forced to take! I regularly write notes for dd to be excused PE. She is fit and healthy. I really dont think PE should be compulsory.

AbbeyA · 02/04/2008 18:38

I don't see how you can keep writing notes-you can't have a reason week after week!

Original poster
brightwell · 02/04/2008 19:11

I'm not writing her a note, she's not mentioned it this evening. It wouldn't surprise me if she "forgets" her pe kit. Which will mean a detention....her problem. It's not just hockey, she dislikes most team sports. She says she doesn't like them and she's no good,(her words). If she does bring it up again I'll tell her it's only for an hour and she should try and focus on something positive she can gain from it!

OP posts:
Scattybird · 02/04/2008 19:13

What if everyone is whacking her ankles with the hockey stick, I know I used to. Perhaps she is a bit frightened. You should find out, because bullied girls were whacked as you could do it without the teacher seeing. Same with lacrosse.

pointydog · 02/04/2008 19:37

Are some of you really suggesting that children should be exempted from all PE if they want, just by sending in constant notes?

SlackSally · 02/04/2008 19:48

No, PD, that would be ridiculous, obviously. But I do think there is something particularly bad about hating PE. More than Maths, French, etc I mean. I was a bit of a swot at school but useless at PE, totally uncoordinated and a bit chubby. I always thought it was terribly unfair that those that were bad at say, maths, didn't have to advertise the fact by 'performing' in front of everyone as you have to in PE. And they didn't have those that were better at it screeching at them and laughing at them. And they didn't have to do it in the cold. And they didn't have to do it in clothes that emphasised the bodies that, at 14, they inevitably hated. Etc etc.

Original poster
brightwell · 02/04/2008 20:06

She's surpassed my expectations....... Mum, my hockey boots are locked in so & so's locker,she's been off sick all week & probably won't be in tomorrow. I'm going to get a detention because I've not got them.
I've explained I may have been a bit more sympathetic if she hadn't expressed her feeling so vocally yesterday. But not to worry I'm sure we'll be able to borrow some for her. I'm off to start phoning round!

OP posts:
FrannyandZooey · 02/04/2008 20:11

But there ARE long term advantages to brushing your teeth etc
there AREN'T to being forced to play hockey if you hate it
it will put you off sport
it will put you off school
it will put you off adults to some extent

I am sorry that so many of you have to do things you hate every day - is this the life you WANT your children to have, so you get them ready for it now? It's like HC's example about getting ready to go to a country where food is scarce - do you starve yourself in advance to get used to it, or feed yourself up?

FrannyandZooey · 02/04/2008 20:12

brightwell I do understand that you feel this is a discipline issue with your dd and you don't want to back down, btw

I am just arguing with the whole concept of 'children should be forced to do things they hate, just on principle, because it is good for them'

sarah293 · 02/04/2008 20:12

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Hulababy · 02/04/2008 20:12

I have to do things I don't particularly want to some days. Just part of life IMO.

FWIW I quite liked hockey when younger.

But writing the note is wrong regardless.

myermay · 02/04/2008 20:16

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