To be completely shocked about someone I used to know

[EWAB]

When my youngest was at primary school I really liked this woman who had kids either side of mine.

She was in the PTA equivalent and was just a nice woman. There was no drama around her.

I remember having a day off and went into the local cafe, and she invited me to sit with her friends. She was funny, warm and witty.

Significantly, she had friends of all ethnicities and her best friend was Asian.

Everybody will relate to being busy but I think if it was a different time in my life or we had kids in same year we would have been mates.

I am absolutely shocked that she is a member of a right wing political party and has a presence in that party, utterly and completely shocked.

I know it’s not illegal but God.

All three of my siblings are Tories, I’m not someone who thinks everyone has to think like me but I am stunned.

Mumsnet hates this, but I have had a physical reaction to the news. I am just Gobsmacked and weirdly let down and I do know that’s a stupid, irrational thing to say.

You barely knew this woman. Your paths crossed and she invited you to join her for a coffee. You imagine that if the stars were aligned differently you’d have become friends….

And years later discover you don’t like her politics and it gives you ‘a visceral, physical reaction’ ?!?

You had this stranger on a pedestal, then your bubble burst. You should move on.

penjil · Today 14:57

There are many "decent" people in the BNP including doctors, solicitors, and all manner of white collar, and also blue collar workers.

Decent people aren't defined by the jobs they do. Was Harold Shipman decent? His patients loved him and thought he was lovely to them.

Actually, I'm with the poster that said there are no decent people in the BNP. Any political party where you have to hide your affiliation from your employer, and I'm afraid that the BNP is one of these organisations, needs to be viewed with suspicion in my opinion.

Reform isn't far right. They just offer simple solutions for simple folk (and yes that's intended as an insult). Doesn't matter to them that's all cobblers and not implementable. The Greens are the same on the other end of the party spectrum.

Reform are going to pick up votes because the problems we face are getting more pronounced

Same in a few other EU countries. It doesn’t mean the solution is easy

I don’t think people are simple particularly just getting fed up and showing it

I’m not saying this as a voter of theirs but it’s easy to see why and what’s going on

I don't really know a lot about reform or their policies tbh but my mum who came to the UK from Asia as an immigrant in the 70s recently told me that she's planning to vote for them because she's fed up of the tories and of labour too. I wouldn't describe her as far right 😄maybe you're judging your friend a bit harshly even if you disagree with her political views?

She's a fan of all the right wing extremists?

how far to the right? I had an uncle who was a Tory MP and was a decent person, I know people who are Tories but feel alienated by the current crew we have in power.

The one that worries me is Reform
The one that repulses me is Britain First
The one that makes me laugh and cringe is Reclaim, headed up by Laurence Fox
So there is a sliding scale of "right wing", I am personally repelled by people such as Tommy Robinson, Suella Bravermann, and Nigel Farage and I would not be able to maintain a friendship with someone who supported these people or indeed people who had the same views.

Well I will immediately write off all Labour voters then , ban them from my inner circle because they believe 1% of women have a penis . Done .

Some words and terms have lost all meaning through misuse, 'far right' being one of them.

I'd take this as an opportunity to look at your preconceptions. There's absolutely no reason why a nice person can't have different political opinions to your own, even vastly different ones. We're complex beings, full of contradictions and surprises. Few of us align perfectly with any political party, so we have to either ignore the whole thing or take the bad with the good (as we see it).

Plus just because someone does not believe in uncontrolled illegal immigration for example it does not make them racist . They may be perfectly fine with controlled immigration and a proper system for processing Genuine asylum seekers .

I would be shocked too, if somebody I knew and liked was in Reform. However, you are not in contact with the lady now, you drifted apart, and this feeling will fade. It would be ten times worse if she was a close friend or relative. She isn't.

What does your last paragraph have to do with anything? You can support political freedom and still not want to be friends with people who make political choices you think are immoral

I find that actually very weird that you would cut of friends who have a different opinion to you ? Makes you sound like you are very superior.

100%

Exactly. I am not from the UK but plan to protest vote for Reform if they run in the area for the general election.

This is because I disagree with the high levels of legal migration, I don't see it as the long term solution to a declining population or for shoring up the workforce.

I'd rather employers have to pay fair wages and provide good working conditions editions. And that the government make people's lives easier so that they can have more children.

Anyone can be immoral without having a political inclination.

Surprised and disappointed, I could understand but 'completely shocked'? Ridiculous.
I'm a lifelong leftie and no fan of any of the parties mentioned, but even I'm mature enough to know that other people - including nice ones - sometimes have wildly different political beliefs.
And frankly, this kind of 'holier than thou' attitude does the left absolutely no favours. We'd do a lot better if we left the sanctimony at home and started making our case with respect and good arguments instead of monstering people.

That also has nothing to do with the conversation being had.

That amused me, why is it "weird" to not want to spend precious time with people who are racists?

Wow . So if you say for example you vote Labour and they bring in official self ID and eradicate womens rights you will stick with them and get rid of all friends who abandon them . Just because you won’t change political parties ?

you sound like a dictatorship. Lol 😂

I never said racists . Stop trying to put words into my mouth. Obviously not all right wing voters are racist. That’s ridiculous.

I would struggle to be friends with someone with polarised views to myself. I’m a centre left politically so extremes of left or right would have me question any friendships.

This thread says a lot more about the intolerance of the OP than the friend.

It's Reform ffs not the BNP.

Yes, this is the bottom line. If you're someone with compassion you don't vote in self interest.