To be completely shocked about someone I used to know

[EWAB]

When my youngest was at primary school I really liked this woman who had kids either side of mine.

She was in the PTA equivalent and was just a nice woman. There was no drama around her.

I remember having a day off and went into the local cafe, and she invited me to sit with her friends. She was funny, warm and witty.

Significantly, she had friends of all ethnicities and her best friend was Asian.

Everybody will relate to being busy but I think if it was a different time in my life or we had kids in same year we would have been mates.

I am absolutely shocked that she is a member of a right wing political party and has a presence in that party, utterly and completely shocked.

I know it’s not illegal but God.

All three of my siblings are Tories, I’m not someone who thinks everyone has to think like me but I am stunned.

Mumsnet hates this, but I have had a physical reaction to the news. I am just Gobsmacked and weirdly let down and I do know that’s a stupid, irrational thing to say.

And this is why some people believe we are heading towards civil war. Grow the fuck up! Someone has a different political view.

I could understand if they were in favour of paedophiles exchanging info..like certain Labour party members were in the 1970s...see every party has a stupid side. The torys basic policy is of people working hard and achieving individually verses Labour working as a collective ...that's it...the whole torys did this to the nhs can be answered by Labour's bankrupting of the country in the 70s. Tory privatisation can be countered by the stupid lack of banking regulation by Labour.

Ooh, it’s always great to throw in a big word sweetie 🤣 Conspiracy theorist eh? Is that what you call lifelong Labour voters these days? You appear to be suffering delusions. Get that checked out before you accuse Piers Corbyn of being fascist scum 😂🤣😂

All I can say to your last sentence, is, you’ve obviously led a very sheltered life.
But that shows in your view of people who vote differently to you.

I'm left wing but there are a few Tories I respect who seem like decent people. I would however struggle to be friends with anyone who voted Reform or agreed with the Rwanda policy (I know Reform don't agree with it either). It's unlikely we'd have much in common and I'd be guarding myself during conversations. They're entitled to their opinions and I'm entitled to disagree with them.

"...I’m not someone who thinks everyone has to think like me but..."

Yes. Yes you are. I think your reaction is appalling.

Yes they are the most entitled idiots. In what world is it OK for people to have to work from 16 to 70 to keep others who do not work a day in their whole life AND have way more money than those who do. Or where the human rights law is actually used by criminals and murderers and good, law abiding people have no rights at all and life is cheap!

You have missed my point.

I don't judge anyone for who they vote for. That was my point.

I don’t think you are a decent person if you are unable to have an unbiased view and accept that not everyone thinks like you!

I'd be a bit disappointed in myself for not picking up how thick she is. Unless she's a business owner/going to inherit big, then she's covering her own interests. I'd love to know how they are going to cut waiting times and double the staff, yet have zero net immigration. Unless a lot of the policies run on the idea that there'll be a lot of deaths and emigration, once we have no doctors and dentists etc. I'd quite like to bumb into her to get answers.

It's quite literally an area I have researched and studied in depth thank you

The way you were going on i thought you were gonna say something like a neonazi party ffs

Well, it is a website to share your own opinion.

But her saying Rwanda is safe as people 'do their gap years there' (R4- yesterday) is vile as it's completely disingenuous; as she well knows it's totally different visiting many countries as a comparatively wealthy British tourist compared to being a failed asylum seeker. She knows but chooses to ignore the fact that in 2018 the Rwandan police opened fire on Congolese refugees in a refugee camp when making statements that Rwanda is safe when it isn't. It's also a country where LGBT people are harassed by the police.

So yes actually, it's a pretty vile opinion that's it's fine to waste £1/2 billion pounds of public money in a desperate attempt to win the next general election just by appealing to the Daily Mail reading Reform supporting right by sending the most helpless people off to an unsafe country. And at a time when schools and hospitals are in a fundings crisis.

A Political view only one part of a person's make up. Their morals, honesty caring are some others. Is their political view really a deal breaker.

Politics are divisive but I don’t think it’s worth ending a friendship over. My best friend is as far left as they come whilst I’m Conservative. We choose not to debate it and therefore no issues.

I am not fan of the Rwanda scheme either but would not necessarily describe those in favour as Daily Mail readers or Reform voters - I imagine that you are using these as pejoratives?

Which other of her views are 'vile'? You used the plural so I imagine you have plenty of examples?

I mean if you see someone say BLM and read Antifa (not even present in the UK) then the issue is all yours.

Antifa not present in the UK? Eh?

Yes it's the adult thing to do, right? It seems to be completely beyond so many people though.

“When I realised what she is like”

But OP you know what she is like, you have described her yourself with nothing but praise after knowing her for 6 years. Please consider coming at this from a different angle, it’s much more likely that the political party in question isn’t what you think it is.

This kind of thinking is exactly the reason that anyone who doesn't vote Labour just doesn't ever mention it... And then leftie people are shocked when the Tories were voted in.

I felt really ill when I realised what she is like.

She's like you know her to be. Reform may not be your cup of tea, or mine, but they don't have any far right policies.

I mean if you see someone say BLM and read Antifa (not even present in the UK) then the issue is all yours.

You should probably read up a bit more on BLM. A lot of fraud and grift went on there.

I don't fully agree with any of the main parties (or the minor ones) and I wouldn't classify any of them as 'good' or 'bad'. I think that this polarising, over-simplistic approach is bad for democracy and silences a lot of people. How about you have a conversation with her- you might both learn something.

There's plenty of political stances that would indicate someone is a bad person. Fascism is a political stance, and fascists are bad. Imo, members of Britain First are bad people.

👏

I can relate (in a different, almost but not quite opposite!) way to your shock, OP.

However, and I truly mean this kindly, it suggests that it might be showing up some of your own prejudices, rather than saying as much as you think about her.

Your reaction suggests that you have a bit of a caricature view of people "on the right" that has essentially been challenged by experience here.

I have friends on all bits of the political spectrum with whom I vehemently disagree on certain issues (openly or quietly!) but maturity is coming round to the idea that people may be wrong without being 'bad', and sometimes may even be proved correct, and you proven wrong (which is particularly hard to forgive...!)