To ask how to get kids interested in cultural experiences, new foods, etc

[PlainChipsandIpads]

Any ideas?

Kids seemingly uninterested in anything except trays of plain chips, devices, going to the supermarket, Subway, McDonalds or watching a film on the sofa.

Recently took them to London for the weekend for two very kid-centric exhibitions. On the first evening after a long drive and getting stuff settled in the hotel, we walked 20 mins from Old Street to Spitalfields, and the youngest (8yo) was asking to go back to hotel as legs hurting and bored, wanted to go on device (despite being on the thing for the entire nearly three hour drive into London). Ended up being carried on dad’s shoulders for remainder of evening which was cut very short in the end, with four of us then climbing up the walls in the family hotel room from 8.30pm. The whole weekend seemed to be punctuated by snacks as promise of chips at the next place and ice cream at the one after that seemed to the only thing motivating them to keep going. At one point (in Camden Market) I remarked to DH that it’s hard to tell if eldest (10yo - loves alternative and witchy/spooky stuff) was even having a nice time at all, which was a shame really as we were certain that she’d absolutely love Camden. We all had a good weekend overall, but it is rather disappointing to still need to seek out Gregg’s and rubbish fast food in London when there is such huge variety available. How do we live in a world where central London can’t compete with an IPad in terms of entertainment?

This weekend we’re planning to go to a street food market, which is being held in a complex with lots of little independent shops and boutiques, loads of outside seating, family friendly and craft stuff for them to do, etc. But I can already feel a little bit of anxiety about the fact that the kids are going to whinge the whole way through about sore legs or boredom, that the food has too many herbs on it, or the pizza crust has got (apparently inedible) bubbles on it, that they want to walk a mile back up the road to a grim looking newsagents that had some very faded fidget toys in the window instead of getting involved in making a terrarium or some other cool activity.

I just worry a bit for the youth of today, there’s a whole big wide world out there. Can anyone relate? Do you have any suggestions?

Stop giving them the bland stuff, make the culturally interesting stuff their norm?

If you wean them off screens during the day and make walking distances the way you usually spend a weekend, they aren't going to kick off about it. It's the deviation from the norm that causes the whinges.

I think you just have to do it more so it becomes their normal.

When DS was little and he didn't want to do something I would say that was fine, but there wouldn't be any screens as an alternative. That often made him more amenable. You're going to struggle if they think they can swap any given activity for screens.

Don't give them Gregg's, chips etc. Don't give them screens. They whinge because you give in. If they're bored, that's fine, because it's a good learning experience. We were all taken to places we didn't want to go as kids, and we just had to put up with it. Include children in the good stuff, and they'll be fine - lots of my friends have achieved this, because they just didn't give in - they were the adults.

Involve them in the planning. Show them a range of things at Camden and give them choices - e.g. the liquid nitrogen ice cream parlour or Amorato where they sculpt ice-cream into the shape of roses. If one wants the lab ice cream and the other wants flower shaped, walk from one to the other - make it part of the day.

Get them each to choose two or three things they want to do from a range you have pre-selected which you know are affordable and reachable. Then explain that each day you take turns to do one thing each person has chosen, including you and DH (though I used to cheat and do things I'd quite like that I thought they'd love).

You can also play games in places like London - who can spot someone with rainbow coloured hair or who can spot an animal or face carved in the side of a building. That gets them looking.

Lock the iPads away and stop serving bland junk.

You'll have a very rough few weeks while they sulk and suffer withdrawal, but they'll eventually start to acclimate to the new regime.

We focussed on more outdoors type stuff at those ages. Castles and NT places, moors, beaches, woodland.

We only stay in one room together if in transit because it’s hell. I never took them to London until they were 10, then it was one at a time allowing them to choose where we went. They’re teens now and very cultured. It helps when they start doing school trips to cultural places. Still wouldn’t do Camden (my 16 year old asked to go last year and we both hated it), or street markets. They’re too busy and boring for kids in my experience. My youngest is such a fussy eater but is improving with age. I think little and often with cultural stuff, let them have a say, and be patient.

Agree and we do this too. Our kids are still very little (5 and 2) so usually they don't get a choice about going to x place but when eldest does, it's either go to x place or stay at home and play by themselves, essentially. As it's usually because one of us is home either unwell or busy with housework. So 9/10 they will choose to go.

So I am reading that the usual is the beige food? You cannot expect them to embrace new culinary experiences or they have never had them as their norm.

I have brought my children since weaned to different food festivals and a diverse range of restaurants. At this stage you need to get them on board identify one culture and food group and research with them and identify something they want to try make and then organise dining out then.

Where they simply exhausted by the travel?

A couple of things jumped out at me, one being if they have too much screen time then thats all they want to do because it's addictive. I'd suggest bringing in some limits so that sometimes they are bored and learn to appreciate other types of entertainment. Maybe introduce a family board game night so they get used to talking and being social with you. Second thing is being out late after a day travelling or sightseeing is probably quite a lot for an 8yo even if they are used to staying up late. We tend to go back to the hotel for a rest between 5 and 8 ish with our kids on city breaks for a bit of a rest. Then out for dinner after that. Food is a tricky one you just have to start introducing into your normal life. I have one dc who is incredibly fussy and will only have grated cheese in a wrap when the rest of us have fajitas but I am hopeful one day they will be more adventurous like the older one...and I never force it. They will now eat spicier breaded chicken 🙄 so I feel we are making some progress.

I should also have said though that I think all kids whine and moan sometimes and like to eat chips and ice cream! Honestly OP. I'm early 30s so other than telly didn't have access to any other screen until I was about 8 and it was sparingly even after then. But my DPs still don't hesitate to tell me and my siblings how we used to whine incessantly sometimes and both my siblings were quite fussy eaters, the youngest absolutely terribly so. So don't worry too much, they will grow out of it!

Mine were never interested in any type of street market but they were always up for museums , galleries , castles etc . Unfortunately if you’ve bought them up eating bland food and allowed screens for hours then that will be what they want to do .

It sounds like they are addicted to their screens so now they don't want to do anything else. I'd cut them out altogether.

I did an activity with five year olds today where they had to tell me a story. Some of them were telling me about rainbow tractors, bad guys and unicorns and some had absolutely nothing. Nothing at all. They have no imaginations at all because they are just consuming all of the time.

Just one generation ago if you were travelling to London with your children you would have talked to them during the whole journey.

Agree that you have to make it just what you do. We always have quite strict screen limits so the kids know moaning about it isn't going to achieve anything. If they'd had all their screen time in the car, that would be it for screens for the day.

And if they aren't used to activities like this they might get overwhelmed or feel tired. We are lucky that we're in outer London so the kids have always walked and taken public transport loads, and we've done lots of days out like this from a young age and we've got the balance right as they grow up. I think key is being really clear about the day and managing expectations, and making sure everyone gets a choice. So "we're going to the gallery for a few hours, then it's your choice for lunch. After that we're going to the museum
activity your brother chose, then it's my choice for dinner."

If they're unadventurous about food, can you introduce more variety at home? So one meal a week is from a different country/culture or something they haven't tried before.

I don't think spitalfields and Camden a particularly kid friendly. More teens who are on instagram.

Get them involved in cooking, they old enough to choose a meal and have a go at cooking it.

Mine will all home in on the most singly overpriced thing in the entire market and engage so enthusiastically with the stallholder that I get guilted into buying it. And then we are suddenly the owners of an £11 jar of honey that they avoid because they prefer the supermarket stuff.

They really love the South Bank food market though, even though they almost always just get the crepes after 20 minutes of looking around all the stalls.

I suppose I should update and explain that these are not my children, they are my DH’s from a previous relationship so I haven’t had any say in they kind of food they’ve been acclimatised to when much younger. But all adults involved (Mum and her DP included) are a bit frustrated with the dietary limitations and it’s something everyone is working on little by little.

I was very reluctant to disclose my “step mum” status as I know it’s likely on MN that I’d immediately be accused of hating them, that I shouldn’t be in a relationship with a man with children, that I’m evil incarnate, etc.

The reality is that I love DH and I love his children, we all have a great time together, and I have a wonderful time just with the kids doing craft stuff at home or baking, drawing, etc. They are lovely, bright and thoughtful children, and I just hate the idea that they could sleep walk into a beige existence where the biggest events on the calendar are a new season of Love Island, I’m a Celebrity or MAFSUK and deciding whether to have Dominos or a Chinese.

I understand where you're coming from, Op.

When DS1 was a child (before screens were a big thing, admittedly), I used to take him to London once a year for a wee treat.
We did Hamleys in the morning (obviously!) which he loved.
But, afternoons were a bit of a letdown. He was desperate to go into the big JD Sports (on Oxford Street?), and look in the tat shops for London souvenirs.

I tried to steer him towards one of the many millions of eateries for our evening meal, but he was dead set on going to Bella Italia for a margherita pizza.

We've got JD Sports and Bella Italia up North 😂.

However, we have fond memories of the time we spent together and now, at 26, he's reasonably cultured.

If you make cultural activities, experiences and trying different cuisines a part of your norm and tailor it to their tastes and interests, then they will find it as a part of their routine.

Create a bucket list of places to visit (museums, galleries, woodlands, etc.), experiences, food or cuisines to try and have them be a part of the planning.

Food: If you can cook the dishes, or order takeaway or go to a restaurant, then you can ask them to try a few dishes. Or maybe have one night where you cook together as a family to try a new cuisine.

I -Spy books are always good fun.

it is rather disappointing to still need to seek out Gregg’s and rubbish fast food in London when there is such huge variety available

They're children. They'll eat where they're taken...you're the adult and took them to Greg's, there was no 'needed to' about it.

If you want them to eat better meals when out, take them to better places 🤷‍♀️

So they are 8 to 10yo and addicted to screens which might not be streaming them to things that align with what you think might make them more adventurous is how I read that. I think dd who is a few years older has algorithms that show her (geeky stuff she enjoys like engineering and science) but she spams me with food shorts, usually from China Town but also anything with stretchy cheese - completely obsessed. Maybe you can have a look on your own device to see which people are doing the crepe/dim sum/cheese fondue whatever you think they might like (those are popular with dd) and send them? I won't repeat what others have said about cutting screen time - you know that already. I think maybe nudging them into topical algorithms might help pique their interests though?

I also think that most eight year olds are not intetested in boutiques and market stalls. Try Hamleys , Lego store, princess Di park.’ Buck palace etc

If they aren’t your kids then it’s difficult to influence & a weekend in London isn’t really the time to start. When you’re back you can try different kinds of chips / crisps (eg cassava or sweet potato or plaintain chips) as a start & work your way from there. Also, Nando’s is a great way to get bland eaters interested in something different.

Also the cable car, the London eye, a ride on a boat, Greenwich park.

I wouldn't be interested in Camden market now!