To ask how to get kids interested in cultural experiences, new foods, etc

[PlainChipsandIpads]

Any ideas?

Kids seemingly uninterested in anything except trays of plain chips, devices, going to the supermarket, Subway, McDonalds or watching a film on the sofa.

Recently took them to London for the weekend for two very kid-centric exhibitions. On the first evening after a long drive and getting stuff settled in the hotel, we walked 20 mins from Old Street to Spitalfields, and the youngest (8yo) was asking to go back to hotel as legs hurting and bored, wanted to go on device (despite being on the thing for the entire nearly three hour drive into London). Ended up being carried on dad’s shoulders for remainder of evening which was cut very short in the end, with four of us then climbing up the walls in the family hotel room from 8.30pm. The whole weekend seemed to be punctuated by snacks as promise of chips at the next place and ice cream at the one after that seemed to the only thing motivating them to keep going. At one point (in Camden Market) I remarked to DH that it’s hard to tell if eldest (10yo - loves alternative and witchy/spooky stuff) was even having a nice time at all, which was a shame really as we were certain that she’d absolutely love Camden. We all had a good weekend overall, but it is rather disappointing to still need to seek out Gregg’s and rubbish fast food in London when there is such huge variety available. How do we live in a world where central London can’t compete with an IPad in terms of entertainment?

This weekend we’re planning to go to a street food market, which is being held in a complex with lots of little independent shops and boutiques, loads of outside seating, family friendly and craft stuff for them to do, etc. But I can already feel a little bit of anxiety about the fact that the kids are going to whinge the whole way through about sore legs or boredom, that the food has too many herbs on it, or the pizza crust has got (apparently inedible) bubbles on it, that they want to walk a mile back up the road to a grim looking newsagents that had some very faded fidget toys in the window instead of getting involved in making a terrarium or some other cool activity.

I just worry a bit for the youth of today, there’s a whole big wide world out there. Can anyone relate? Do you have any suggestions?

I dont mean for this to sound as critical as it does when ive read it back. But, I'm surprised it has taken until your kids are 8 and 10 for you to realise they're addicted to devices.

I'd severely limit their device time in favour of family activities.

In terms of eating new foods, really the ideal is to have them trying new foods from when they were weaning. However, now you just need to get them trying new stuff. Again try to do it as a family...like challenges or dares to ear x, y or z.

I just always expected 100% obedience about getting off screens when I say. I'm fairly relaxed in many ways but we wouldn't have devices out and about when on holiday. When they were little I spent lots and lots of time in cafes and relaxed restaurants so that they learnt how to behave in a low stakes setting. They're not perfect, but from about 3 we have been very able to take them to eat in nice places. We stay off our screens and focus on talking and playing games like I spy. I'm also quite realistic about how long they will be able to maintain that. Likewise, I've always taken them to museums, walks etc so they just do it. I think I'm quite child-centric though. We spend lots of time (and money!) planning what we will do as a family. I'm careful to look for things that will suit them and try not to over estimate how long a place will keep them entertained.
I would say that we still get moans and the teenage end of the household can be very hard to excite! Our youngest is always asking to be carried...
Stick with your aims to build lovely family times together. New routines can be hard and there will always be disastrous trips and outings. Try to chalk them up to experience and remember you will laugh about them one day. Make sure you are fully engaged with them and not mindlessly scrolling on your phone. Good luck, I hope you have lots of lovely times together.

In terms of eating start where they are - if they like pizza then go somewhere that makes proper pizza with a wood oven
If they like cake try a fancy afternoon tea place
For street food everyone have crepes, yes they will want Nutella but at least you weren't in Greggs...
Different types of chips is a great idea

Just try moving it a small bit further towards interesting

We live in London which probably helps but we just don't really use devices much and spend a lot of time in museums and galleries. I think it just needs to be part of your day to day life.

It’s just about what’s their normal so just little by little keep chipping away.

I’ve found Chinatown is always a great place to start for expanding food as they do some really cute looking cakes/ desserts etc that kids tend to love alongside more adventurous dishes. It’s a really cool place and bonus; if they’re not up for trying spice/ flavours they can still have relatively bland noodles/ rice. So you get to go somewhere with variety that also caters to potentially fussy eaters.

Most importantly I’d involve them in the planning, sit together and watch YouTube maybe for travel vlogs or show them any recommendations that fit their interest beforehand and let them plan an afternoon etc. Get them excited beforehand and let them feel like they’ve had a hand in the trip itself. My little boy also loves holding my phone on google maps and “leading the way” with the directions in cities which seems to distract him from any tired legs.

I’d also add that although my child is young and screen time/ gaming is less of an issue, even at 5 he knows it’s a treat and when we say turn it off, it’s off. And he’s not unsupervised he is always playing WITH us as a family. I think when it starts being something they can lock themselves away with for hours on end is when you lose control.

For us it would never be an option to go on a device on holiday (except the plane/ airport) / on a day trip/ meal out but I don't think it would cross his mind to ask? He’s just not used to it being an option over opting out of whatever we’re doing as a family.

We love music, art, history and the countryside so we just carried on doing the things we loved with the children - they came to galleries, NT places and museums with us (obviously, for short times at first, say - to look at one painting or exhibit, increasing the time as they got older). These places are pretty child-friendly these days - hardly the dusty mausoleums of the past. We did lots of activities with them - not just passive things. Let them see you doing creative things if you can.

Don't be discouraged if they seem uninterested at first. My daughter hated country walks as an 11-12 year old. She was a nightmare! But now she is hardly ever indoors if she doesn't have to be - she walks, climbs, wild swims - you name it, and lives for the outdoors and the countryside. We'd never have predicted this!

One thing I would suggest is: introduce your children to classical music early, before they pick up the predictable prejudices. Most children will have no problem accessing pop music - parents don't need to worry about that - but far fewer get the chance of an entree into the incredible world of classical music, which is priceless gift for the whole of your life. You just need to play some appealing stuff to them, and even if they reject it at first, they'll feel much more able to come back to it later on. The problem comes when children have never experienced it - they feel you have to 'understand' it, which you absolutely don't.

TLDR: Just introduce them to the things you love and even if they don't seem keen at first, you'll have given them an invaluable introduction which allows them to pick things up later.

Various thoughts:

1. You might need to think about what is kid friendly. Camden Market, and shopping, is not a child friendly activity. Museums, castles etc are a much better idea. Theatre trips.

1. They seem to have a lot of screen time. I'd never allow it in the car, that's the time for chatting, talking about what you are going to do etc.

1. Bland food. Stop feeding it to them. Feed them more interesting things .

1. It will take time and effort to do the new normal but if you want to then need to make the effort

I won't repeat what others have said about devices and food...

I found that my kids were far more engaged if I had done a bit of prep beforehand. So in London, yay we are going to the Natural History Museum... check out what they would like to see: Dinosaurs, whale, neanderthal? Get a bit of background knowledge to the exhibits.

The food market will be though, but see if you can get them to choose 3x savoury & 3x sweet/ cake to try...

I know an art loving mum who persuaded her kids round galleries by playing 'Buy, Steal, Burn' on the paintings. Generated a lot of discussion.

Personally I started with art at the National Gallery with their kids book. They had cunningly included a lot of discussion of bums and willies which obvs age 8 I thought was hilarious.

Took 7 year old to London a few years back, London eye, sea world, a random play park, sweet shops, Lego land and riding about on the tube were the things enjoyed. I think your expectations of kids 10 and under are a little skewed.

Don’t take gadgets on holiday. I know they can be handy but I managed with my kids as they never had any gadgets until age 11. Get them a meal at the restaurants - go for Chinese in China town etc, and find food you know they like and get them to try it. They are never going to like different foods if you’re seeking out chips and greggs. Also don’t avoid going to places either - that will make it worse overall not better

What do the DC eat at home, either in their mum's home or yours? You can at least stop the beige food at yours, if that is what they get for every meal. Not changing every meal, all at once, but introduce gradually! If they like Chinese takeaway, take them to China Town in London and let them wander around and pick the restaurant they like the look of. At home, let them choose, help shop for and prepare the evening meal. Needn't be exotic, but something other than nuggets! Maybe an Ooni oven, or bbq, in the garden during the summer.

As others have said, I think they are maybe a bit young yet for Camden/Spitalfields. Try something which will be perceived to be more "fun," even if you wouldn't class it as cultural! Cable car, walk over the O2 (not sure if age limits), speed boat down the Thames adventure, watching Changing of the Guard, London Eye, dinosaurs at the Natural History Museum, ice skating at Christmas, one of the guided walks etc. Ask for some advice for potential destinations on MN before your next visit, as you will get lots of help, including things that are free of charge.

If you have had a long day's travelling to your destination, just do dinner and then bed on the day of arrival so that they are refreshed for a busy day tomorrow. I wouldn't personally be carrying an 8 year old around at all unless in very unusual circumstances. Maybe a theatre or cinema trip for evening entertainment if you think they would be up to it.

Stop the screens. I would go cold turkey, but appreciate that that might not be practical if you have to take account of what is allowed in mum's house.
If they are with you every weekend, could they maybe do a regular club on one of the days? Football/swimming/golf/crafting? Whatever you have locally. Or something like Children's Park Run, where you don't have to go every week.

Take them to NT properties nearer to your home. Most will usually have grounds to run around it, trails for children, a decent play park and an excellent cafe!

I'm just thinking small adjustments to what they would normally do.

Also forgot that most children enjoy a trip to Hamleys and the M&M store!

Local streetfood festivals, theme nights at home (curry, Greek etc) take them to a deli for picnic foods. Embrace the lidl exotic food weeks!
Find out if your local theatre does discount/ restricted view seats. Keep an eye on local film festivals/ literature festivals.

Lead by example. Eat interesting foods with enthusiasm

Check out Atlas Obscura website for quirky things to see / do

Get them involved in planning trips

I'd look towards parenting if you are seeking answers. I don't mean that to come across as harsh but just as an example if the kids are driven everywhere then yes when faced with a lot of walking they will get tired. I don't drive and school is a 30 minute walk so mine do at least an hours walk twice a week, they are used to walking to different places. If kids are only ever exposed to beige food, is it so hard to understand that they might not want to venture far from what they know?

I love a market but my kids (8, 6 and 2.5) wouldn't so I wouldn't go to one with them yet. I think you need to come up with itineraries with them in mind and at their age actively involve them in the planning. We frequently visit family a 4 hour drive away but do not allow devices on the journey. Instead the kids take coloring books, cross word puzzles etc and we play games. It requires active parenting and would be easier to hand them a device so I could sleep but we have decided to do things differently (appreciate mine are still young yet).

Thinking about this more I do think your perspective of what children enjoy is a bit off.

For children food is basically fuel, to be consumed for doing things.

So a food market and shopping isn't much fun for children of those ages.

More active activities are much better, and then can do a small bit of pottering round shops etc once you've actually done something. A museum, climb a tower etc

Sorry I posted and then read again and that’s exactly what you’re doing 😃
honestly kids go through really dull phases as preteens/ teens and then will recreate all the exciting stuff you took them to as kids when they’re older teens / young adults and they’ll tell you about it as though they invented the wheel.

I used to do after school childcare for my "not" godchildren once a week. School was within walking distance of an art gallery and the town museum.

We used to basically do a commando raid in - see a couple of things and then leave. We did this most weeks. I tried to tie it in with school work e.g when roman theme was running we went to the amphitheatre. There was usually also after school snack bribery.

The oldest one is now 17 (eek) and makes a point of arranging an art gallery trip with me during most school holidays (being organised by a 17yo is an odd experience!). They are doing art A-level so are now much more knowledgeable about it than me.

The younger one isn't really very interested in art but if there is an exhibition on of interest they are usually amenable to going if I suggest it and has on occasion found something themselves to go to.

I'm taking this as a win both for early cultural immersion and for being interesting enough to still be sought after company!

Really OP? Were you into cultural outings, visits to markets and exotic food when you were a kid? I think you've forgotten what being a kid is like!

With kids that age and one into spooky stuff I'd have gone for the London Dungeon and then to some of the big toy shops. Then some gimmicky kid friendly restaurant like the Rainforest Cafe. You can't make them like things they're just not interested in. But that doesn't mean that as they get older they won't be into those things - taste buds and interests will change and develop.

Keep taking them to new places like London, that alone is opening their eyes to the world, let them eat what they want but choose more 'interesting' things to eat yourselves and see if they'll try them. Don't expect them to stay out late after a busy day.

Heads up - they're not going to love the street food market. You need to go there and have a great time without them.

I think people are being harsh. My son is 9, we live in London and do loads of interesting stuff, but we do it by the sheer force of my will, and I have accepted that he will not be skipping joyfully through the city filled with the wonder of expanding his mind, like a proper Mumsnet child. The truth is he would rather be at home or in a friend's house or in the local park we have been to 10,000 times, playing football or Nintendo and eating crisps. The same is true of 99% of the children I know.

Ways to make it more successful: bring a friend (siblings do not count), don't try to do too much in a day, involve food and make it fun (eg an all pancake meal, dim sum with chicken feet etc), and balance one worthy thing (museum, gallery) with one fun thing (olympic park slide, boat trip). Accept that they will want something from the gift shop and hope they will settle for a pencil.

Children aren’t always that into shopping. However, when we went to visit my mother, she used to give mine each a pound and then take them to her local pound shop and tell them they could choose anything they wanted. They absolutely loved that. They would spend ages looking at things, discussing the pros and cons of the items and eventually choose something usually a bit unexpected. It was very good value entertainment. I’m not sure it would work for all children though.

If you or you dh have any anxiety about the trip then the kids will pick up on this and be on edge. I don’t mean that you’re worried about big things like safety, more just that low level about whether everyone is enjoying themselves and so on. I think it makes the kids feel a bit under pressure.

Go into it determined that you and dh will have a good time. If the kids don’t like it, fine, at least you’ve had fun. I actually find this attitude results in everyone enjoying the trip more.

You take the screens away, and you eat at the places where YOU want to eat.

I know I sound like a really strict parent there, but I'm not really. But I do think that you've reached the stage where you simply can't have the kids dictating to you. And they are.

Why should you have to eat where they want? Yes they'll whinge, but the more you do it, the more often they'll have to try different food or go without. And then learn that some of it's actually fine.

If you want things to change you have to be less passive. And then they whine you just pretend you haven't heard and remain upbeat.

If you're asking what's going to happen to this generation. Well that depends entirely on whether they have parents who are prepared to be unpopular, and to recognise that actually THEY get to decide what and where to eat, not the kids. And who take the screens away after a defined period (no more than an hour).