Height ism

[Notsureofname2]

I’m 34, mum of 2…oldest is 9 and is my height. I’m 4ft9. The number of times people comment on my height really really pisse5 me of! I don’t go on to fat people about how fat they are, or to anyone with glasses about their glasses. If someone appears socially awkward I don’t make fun of them.

Why do people assume it’s ok to make fun…essentially discriminate..::against small people.
eg yesterday in supermarket I asked for something, then lady said they have it “oh but you won’t be able to reach….its unusual to meet someone smaller then me!” And smirked. I get rude comments like this a lot. If you do think someone is short can you just leave them??

AIBU or is it ok to be rude to short people? If so shall I start being rude to overweight people?? There’s far more of those than shorties

Honestly I think some people just like passing remarks. I used to be really slim when I was younger and got constant remarks of "go eat some dinner" and "if you turn sideways you'll disappear". Now I get comments on my parenting style. I usually go with being super nice in response or just say thanks for the advice but l actually have no interest in your opinion if they are exceptionally rude.

You're completely right, people shouldn't comment on the appearance of strangers. I try to teach my four year old this, and am shocked that so many adults seem to not have been taught it themselves.

As a short woman myself I've never thought about it. I'd say it's an advantage if anything. The vast majority of men prefer to date women shorter than them and I'm up for dating short men 🤷🏼‍♂️

I think it's about shame.

It's rude to call someone fat because people assume that person doesn't like being fat/ is ashamed of it.

But they probably don't assume that you have any shame about your height, so think it's OK and not a big deal.

Sorry OP - it does sound annoying.

I'm 5ft2 and get comments regularly, but I have a friend who is 5ft11 and she gets negative comments too. People will find something to say at both extremes. I often feel infantalised by people when actually I'm very independent. For her, some people (especially men) find her intimidating and think she's this strong, assertive woman when in fact she's very gentle. My point is it's all bollocks - these strangers don't know you, so ignore. But having spent a lot of time with her, I think it's easier to be a short woman in our society than a tall one. I fly under the radar in a way she doesn't, and there are advantages to that.

But 5 foot 2 isn't abnormally short ?

I have definitely heard 'she's too short'

@isthesolution yes I used to get this too but now I've put on weight (thanks peri) the comments go like this "you look so, so, ummmm, so.....well!!"
What does that even mean? Is it the polite way of saying you've been on the pies?

I think it's rude to comment on how someone physically looks but that's just my opinion.
I've had dog shit face (birthmark). Goofy all the way through primary. I've even had "rat hands" which to be honest just made me laugh so hard.

No, that's true. But I guess that suggests people will comment as soon as you fall outside of a very narrow middle range. I can understand people feeling more sensitive about it the shorter they are.

@Hermittrismegistus is taking the piss out of you OP

I'm 4ft9 and I constantly have comments about my size pretty much all my adult life off most people I meet if not straight away their will always be at least one comment at some point in us knowing each other. I don't think this post is about saying 'she's to short' I've never had that comment it's more about people being unable to refrain about passing comment on a small persons height. It's like people don't see it as offensive as calling someone fat so they are open about taking the piss about it but I guess for some people hearing it constantly it feels like (they are) people are mocking you it can be tedious/unfunny/repetitive

The stats around earnings and height only apply to men - short women don't earn any less.

However obese women earn less - thinner women earn more. Obese men don't

I'm 4ft 10 and fat, so there's no wearing kids' clothes for me. I did manage it for a while in my early 20s.
People absolutely comment on my height, all the time. I'm not sure I've ever been discriminated against because of it. I imagine that the people who comment would be the same ones who comment in tall people or thin people.
I'm in a fairly senior position at work, and I did feel a bit daft having a meeting sitting in a non-adjustable chair with my legs swinging like a wee girl because my feet didn't touch the ground.
And yes, tall people, please offer to help in supermarkets. Lost count of the time I've had to leave without an ingredient because I can't reach it!

Also - to all the posters talking about negativity - I would generally say that petite women are considered more attractive than tall women. Not that attractiveness is the only issue, but being short certainly isn't seen as a negative in women.

I would say tall women and short men get the most negative comments tbh.

😳 that’s so wrong and very insensitive.

My DC was oldest in year and smallest in school as premmie. Pleased to say most of his peers got this and were nice to him.

I'm 5 foot 3 and an ex friend was 5 foot 6. She constantly made digs about my average height. She even said once I thought I wouldn't be able to find you in the shops you're so small. Odd

It’s obviously not lovely to comment on people’s height negatively - although I’m not convinced anything you’ve reported is that negative, it’s just a comment.

I don’t think it qualifies as an “ism” though- people haven’t been discriminated against for being a different height. It’s just a fact of life .

😂

At 5 foot, I often do!

Tell them you're identifying as someone much taller and your pronouns are sod/off.

I'm short and dumpy. This is not something that I can exactly hide, and I'd prefer people were up-front than pussy footed around my obvious physical attributes.

Hell, my kids are both aching for the day that they're taller than me, and fully intend to lord it over me (and I, in turn, intend to never get a thing off a high shelf again by standing on a stall if they are within yelling distance)

People make small talk (ha!). height is something that you can't change, and is therefore a fairly safe subject to make small-talk about, unless someone is particularly sensitive (as you seem to be OP)

@Hermittrismegistus are you working through a list of dad jokes?

🙄 That’s about dating. It’s not discrimination, it’s personal preference.

For all those people who think it’s ok, listen to Richard Osman talking to Stephen Bartlett about how hurtful comments on his height are. Might be the opposite end of the spectrum but no-one should gave to just toughen up etc when idiots make unwanted personal comments.

The thing is, some people are just rude, the same people who make comments about you being short are the same people who make comments about someone else being tall. Mean / thoughtless people don't just pick on short people, it's just that you notice that particular comment at that particular time it was being aimed at you. Ten minutes later, someone else's personal attibutes will be on their radar.

Signed,
A tall woman with a big nose and crazy curly hair like the hair bear bunch who couldn't give a monkey's what people say about me because the view is great from up here and I can smell alllllll the roses. (No pithy comment about my hair because even I have to admit it's a nightmare with no redeeming qualities! 😂)