Height ism

[Notsureofname2]

I’m 34, mum of 2…oldest is 9 and is my height. I’m 4ft9. The number of times people comment on my height really really pisse5 me of! I don’t go on to fat people about how fat they are, or to anyone with glasses about their glasses. If someone appears socially awkward I don’t make fun of them.

Why do people assume it’s ok to make fun…essentially discriminate..::against small people.
eg yesterday in supermarket I asked for something, then lady said they have it “oh but you won’t be able to reach….its unusual to meet someone smaller then me!” And smirked. I get rude comments like this a lot. If you do think someone is short can you just leave them??

AIBU or is it ok to be rude to short people? If so shall I start being rude to overweight people?? There’s far more of those than shorties

@MsMuffinWalloper "Gosh, my two small friends love making jokes about their height - they use it for all sorts of help from men too! They love being able to wear kids clothes and shoes, feeling they can be lifted up and "looked after" by men."
Firstly- making jokes about yourself is different from other people making joke is about you.
Secondly-the 1950s called and want your friends back.

Richard Osman gave a very interesting interview about this-saying that people who are "different" know they are different-there's no need to tell them. And that no snowflake ever thinks it's part of an avalanche.

I’m short booby and fat … so comments on my height are the least of my concerns…. But I always say the same thing … I love being short I just pretend not to be able to reach something and someone does it for me 😂😂😂

I actually am happier being short after working with a 6’2 woman she found the constant comments and difficulties dating so hard that it made me realise as a female it’s better to be very short than very tall

It's not "heightism" it's people being twats.

They do it to tall people, they do it to fat people, they do it to thin people...

Do you honestly think people aren't rude to fat people?

Not convinced by this post. Kids clothes generally don't fit adult women. If you are under 5 foot you need around aged 12 clothes and they generally do not fit. And with kids shoes - the ones which are stylish are made for older aged children or teenagers - and they generally have larger feet.

And the "looked after" thing is generally a catty put down from other people. Most grown woman don't wish for this.

My son's girlfriend is 6ft 2 and she gets comments all the time. She just laughs it off and rolls her eyes inwardly

I'm severely underweight (no ED) and I'm always amazed at the comments I get, several times from morbidly obese people. If I said the equivalent to them about how fat they were there'd be hell to pay. I can stop them in their tracks easily by saying what my illness is but why should I divulge my medical history. I simply respond with the MN trope of, "Did you mean to be so rude..."

Why would I have a chip on my shoulder? I'm not a short man. The thread you linked contained a lot of the usual belly aching about women liking tall men and therefore 'discriminating' against short men. When in actual fact, the thread actually demonstrated that some women don't mind short men, and its down to taste. Whether the whiney posts were written by short men themselves or women on their behalf, the message was the same. Women should make themselves available to short men, whether they're attracted to them or not. Because the fact that some are attracted to them isn't good enough, it's needs to be ALL women who don't mind short men else....discrimination.

Welcome to below average height man world.

I’m short, fat and northern. Trust me, I’ve had my fair share of shitty comments from people who think they’re funny. It’s not discrimination and you’re being ridiculous to say it is. The way to deal with the comments is to tell the person they are being a dick or just move off and not engage. You’ll use different strategies at different points.

Basically anyone who doesn’t fit into the “norm” gets comments because, surprise, people are dicks.

nonsense. Sex has nothing to do with it.

Try being a very tall bloke and having other men squaring up to you when they're drunk because they want to take on the ' big man'.
My son and my nephew are both really really tall - like 6 foot 7 tall and the grief they get!

Agree, it's never really ok to comment on someone's appearance in that way. Although as others have said I think it's the same for very tall people. I used to know someone that was extremely tall (around 6'10) and he used to get stares and comments all the time.

It's awful but sadly people will always comment on anything that's different. My male friend is 6ft 7 and nearly every time I go out with him he gets comments like "Oh is there enough oxygen up there". If you're tall, short, thin or fat people will comment. I wish this weren't the case.

Statistically, short people earn less and are treated with less respect. We're infantilised

I don’t doubt you with statistics but at 5’ I’ve never come across this myself. It’s never affected my respect in the workplace or earning capacity. My DD is even shorter than me. She’s just starting out with professional workplaces but has not seemed to lack any opportunities due to her (lack of) height. Maybe other short people self-sabotage?

My DH and my sons are all tall, over 6’, but I wouldn’t say this has automatically gained them any preferential treatment in professions but having said that it’s a pretty standard height for men here so they are probably viewed as average/normal.

My sons give me a good natured ribbing sometimes when I get them to get stuff for me from the upper kitchen cupboards as I refuse to stand on stools etc at this age, but I don’t recall ever really being made fun of negatively throughout my life and DD hasn’t seemed to experienced anything untoward.

I don’t blame you for being annoyed OP. I used to be really skinny and the rude comments I’d get were astonishing, I just couldn’t get my head round supposedly mature people making such personal, unwanted comments. There was once a new colleague even skinnier than me, it would never have crossed my mind to comment on that! Certain people are rude and crass, they were when I was younger (decades ago) and it seems they still are. It’s got nothing to do with being thin skinned or too sensitive etc.

I’m 5”10. I get comments all the time.. “I didn’t realise how big you were as I’ve only seen you sitting down “ - man at work. Woman at work “ aren’t you tall ? How tall are you ?” Not once but twice.

I don’t comment on peoples appearance or body shape as it’s just rude. Really I’d like to tell the, to get to fuck, but it’s work 🤷‍♀️🙄

Just out of interest - if I see you or someone of a similar height trying to reach something at the supermarket do you want me to offer assistance or do you prefer to turn around and ask someone for help?

My mom is short compared to me - about 5'1". I'm about 5'7". So I got used to getting stuff from the higher shelves for her. But I'm also not tall enough to reach that last litre of milk at the very back so have to turn ask someone even taller.

I did help someone the other day, older than myself and she was smacking at a pack of biscuits just out of reach with something else she had in her trolley. I asked "do you need a hand?" and only reached up when she turned and smiled. I was in fact maybe only an inch or two taller but I know that can be a crucial difference.

Tall people get this all the time, oh you are so tall , you have really long legs etc. I wouldn't necessarily say it's offensive in itself to call someone short or tall, that's just what they are.

I think it’s wrong and I’m surprised peope can’t see why you’d be offended. YANBU about that.

I’m 5ft 2 now which I class as “normal short” but I had to say when I was in my late teens I was below 5ft and felt “super short” and I did feel a bit self conscious about teasing from schoolmates. I was very glad I had a late growth spurt and grew a few inches.

But YABU for your “shall I start making comments about fat people etc. “ Bodyshaming already exists and no need to drag fat people into it.

This conversation always makes me think of Shrek. The whole point of that movie was that you should treat people with kindness and respect now matter how different they may be - and yet it mocks Farquaad for being short the whole way through!

And just to add, I was talking to a friend of a friend at a social event recently. She is noticeably shorter than me so I guess probably about 4ft 9.

It’s rare for me to talk to anyone that much shorter than me aside from children so I did notice it but I wouldn’t have dreamed of openly saying that to her.

Also our conversation we were having was far more interesting than our respective heights!

It was just a fleeting thought I had since I’m usually looking up or across at people to speak to them rather than down, but I wouldn’t have thought it worthy of discussion with her!

I suppose for some people they’re just making conversation, when they say these things or think they’re being witty but hopefully society is getting the message slowly but surely about commenting on people’s bodies.

From what I have seen in my forty-sth years short men and very tall women have it bad with comments etc but not short women or overly tall men.

I've never ever heard she's too short or he's too tall.

I would hope you wouldn't just start being mean to fat people.. I guess you could have a retort for a fat person who passed comment on your height if it affects you so strongly..