To expect 16 yr old to acknowledge my birthday

[Pwdhnshb]

I probably am being unreasonable so just tell me straight.
Would you expect your 16 year old to acknowledge your birthday with either a card/small present or at least to just say happy birthday?
Was my birthday last week and my DS just doesn't seem to even notice. Was the same with mothers day. Now I don't expect anything but I feel that at his age he now has the money and opportunity to at the very least buy a card? He has a small friendship group and they all buy cards and presents for each other which he always participates in, gifts can be £20-30. He buys them in good time, never forgets etc so I have to admit to feeling a little sad that on my birthday he didn't get me a card or present (fair enough I can get over that) but he doesn't even say happy birthday. Was the same last year too. AIBU?

Oh and he does have a girlfriend and she gets gifts and cards for birthday and Christmas presents.
He also has plenty of money, I give regular pocket money and so does a family member.

ouch! Thats abit harsh!!

Teenagers can be selfish, lazy, irresponsible monsters. Its not all their fault...their brains are still growing and developing and they are wandering around in a sea of hormones!
Personally Id buy him a calender with all the important dates written down for him, give plenty of timely reminders and if all else fails withhold his pocket money, buy yourself a lovely present with it and tell him why he got nothing!

Very unkind and thoughtless to ignore your birthday. Mother's Day I wouldn't be quite so fussed about, but for him not even to wish you a verbal 'Happy Birthday' is really, really not on. What a selfish arse.

Of course he should from a young age I always got birthday presents for family. I used my pocket money. The presents were probably pretty odd as I didn’t have much but always got something for them

It is really rude and unthoughtful of him. I would sit him down and have a chat about how it makes you feel and how important it is to acknowledge birthdays/special occasions towards those we love. Explain nicely how upsetting it can be and that you don’t need an expensive gift but a handmade card or homemade cake, just a bar of chocolate and a happy birthday would be hugely appreciated. Ask how he’d feel if roles were reversed and you “forgot”/made no effort for his birthday. If he doesn’t start making an effort then say “I take that as you don’t want to celebrate each other’s birthdays anymore- noted”.

Obviously at that age money is tight but it’s the acknowledgment and effort that matters.

I'd struggle very much with not being extremely passive aggressive with this and would be tempted to ask him if he decided that he's too grown up to celebrate birthdays anymore as he appears to think yours in unimportant. Alternatively I would stop doing everything for him of any description and then when he notices say that the fact he couldn't even be bothered to wish you Happy Birthday let alone buy you a card or god forbid a gift means he is obviously taking you for granted and you do not wish to be treated with such utter contempt so all the care and consideration you give him is being withdrawn until further notice. A bit (well a lot) dramatic perhaps but this is utterly unacceptable. If he can look after his girlfriend then he can damn well make an effort for you.

Yanbu
Very selfish and uncaring. He's 16 not a baby. Your his mum.

Tell him how you feel and teach him how to be caring and considerate.

I bet he gets presents and cards on his birthday.

This. I've 2 boys, one 16 and I very clearly set my stall out with birthdays, as in I'd like it acknowledged please. Doesn't have to be an expensive gift, but something thoughtful and a happy birthday mum.
I also find that quarterly outbursts reminding how much I do for them doesn't go amiss either. 😂

I bought my mother a birthday gift from the age of six or so. One of my best memories is of buying her her favourite violet cream chocolates. There is NO excuse for a sixteen year old to forget their mother or father's birthday (absent abuse, obviously. And oddly enough, it is often the nasty toxic parents who get loads of presents and spoiling because of the fawn response on the part of their unfortunate offspring)

Teenagers generally only think about themselves.

I told my DD17 before Mother's Day this year "I know you have money and I'm expecting something for Mother's Day. I'll be annoyed if you don't get me anything"

And she got me something. So now I'm hoping she will realise my expectations from here on in.

I think you need to tell him.

I was as thoughtless and self absorbed as the next teen, but I would never have had to be reminded to get my parents a birthday gift!

@MsLuxLisbon depends on your parents attitudes to gifts though.

I generally don't care about bdays and don't make a fuss of them. My parents were/are the same. They get a card from me and sometimes a present, sometimes not.

Is this the first year he has done this?

And I'm an idiot, because I only just realised that your post was about Mother's Day! Oddly enough, it was the other way in our household: I didn't always remember about Mother's Day or Father's Day, but my parents' birthdays were sacrosanct. Different families have different mores.

I probably have given mixed messages by not saying anything to him I suppose. By not mentioning it last year he wouldn't have thought any different this year.
I've wished a stranger happy birthday before because I was chatting to a lady who mentioned it in conversation 😆 i just think it's the norm to at least say it.

We also make effort for all other relatives birthdays, I buy him a specific card to give (e.g for my sister I buy him an auntie card to write himself for her) and I've done this since he was little so it's not like I've always wrote all the cards etc, I feel like I've done everything I can to model how to treat somebody on their birthday.
He manages to do it for friends/gf and I have no involvement in this.

@Pwdhnshb

So just ask him next time. Don't make it a test and don't make it complicated for him. "Now you are getting older I'd really like it if you got me a card and a little something for my birthday"

Oh I'd be quite angry about that. My dc have always known to make a fuss of people on holidays. From hand made cards and drawings as tots to thoughtful gifts as young teens.