People who work have anxiety too

[Fedupandgrump]

Anyone else on the verge of a breakdown with work, kids, mortgage and cost of living?

I’ve read a lot of threads recently about people with mental health conditions worried about being forced into employment when they feel as though they would not be able to cope. Whilst I sympathise, it’s come at a time where I am completely overwhelmed, burnt out and wonder how the fuck I’m going to get through the week. I treat myself to a half hour sob in Sainsburys car park every couple of days and I wake up every morning with dread, fear and anxiety about what the day will hold. However, I go and work because I. Have. No. Choice. I have two kids and a mad dog that relies on me and my husband to keep our shit together and a roof over our heads. Every day I can feel my heart racing and I feel permanently like I’m in fight or flight mode and I wonder if this is going to lead to a premature heart attack in my 30’s.

I sometimes feel like people who don’t work due to poor mental health thinks those of us who do work, are suffering less than them. I know IAMBU but I can’t help the way I feel at the minute.

I meant the Tories and the globalism/capitalism that enables them, but I’m sure the top 1% are most grateful for your loyalty.

Maybe we should have a general strike over these ridiculous and cruel benefit changes.

I agree with you OP.
In my case, work is my release from anxiety. It's one thing I have that doesn't cause anxiety. It's everything that goes on outside that does (recent bereavement, international move, big family problems).
I get you.

Have you ever had any interaction with somebody who has a severe mental illness? I'm not talking about people who are down because they're skint or anxious because they don't like lots of people around them.

I mean real people who are absolute shells of their former selves? People who can't eat or sleep or and are totally out of touch with reality.

These people are seriously Ill and can not function. Just like someone with late stage dementia can't function and they certainly can't stuff fucking envelopes.

If you are someone who feels that they 'simply can't be signed off, it's just not an option' , how do you think your business will survive when you have a proper breakdown..not just this having a cry in the car park which is bad, but suddenly ending up in a car park at another part of the country not knowing who you are or how you got there, as something has snapped in your mind?

Basically not getting help because you feel you just can't can have quite a tragic ending.

I also hope the OP isn't passing on to their employee the ' Grin and Bear It' approach to MH.

Having said that, unfortunately poor MH is something that can be embellished and even faked. I think the problem is now too many people are using it for time out of the working place, and people who are just a bit unhappy are getting signed off by overworked GP's.

Whilst there will always be those who 'play the system', have you considered that many of these cases may be suffering worse than you? Or that, although you are struggling but you are managing to go into work, some cannot?

There's always a tendency for some to come at social angles from their own point of view/experiences, but that's not necessarily representative of the general picture.

Life is tough! I have days when i sit in the office toilets a few mins taking deep breaths.

I'm juggling young kids, bills, work. Its just how it is, i have to keep food on the table and a roof over our head so stopping/burning out isn't an option

Read one more time the Octavia64 post as an example of why some people can't work with severe mental health issues!
Your lack of empathy and thinking that people with mental health issues fake it, is terrible! You should be grateful that you never experienced it and to stop bullying people who experienced it!
I don't know how you look, but I'm sure if I'll look closely I'll find something what's wrong with your body. Can you imagine me starting bullying you because in my opinion something is wrong with your body? It will be hurtful for you, right? That's what you do, every time you dismiss the fact that some people are unable to work because of mental health issues! You bully them for their own body and mental health issues!

I'm the same op. I'm going to list my problems

• low mood
• anxiety getting worse
• 3 very young children
• husband of 14 years cheated on me last year and I'm not a single parent
• returned to work after Maternity into a highly stressful job
• absolutely skint now and living week to week.
• wearing old worn clothes.
• can't socialise but have no friends to even do that, how do I meet friends.
• no sleep from children waking so much.
• fat and disgusting
• can't stop eating
• feel worthless

But sure I get up and go to work every day don't I. I think it helps even though stressful it's the routine.

So you have functioning anxiety and stress. The issue is when a life even happens, terminal illness for a dependant etc and you are then left to the good old NHS to finally sink you and give you a mental breakdown.

I agree, like lots of benefits we have put in place to help people out who are at a disadvantage, through no fault of their own, the sick note culture is being exploited. There does need to be a crack down on this but it would be through a support back to work scheme and counselling. What we lack is this function, the support network they need. And as you very clearly point out, most people with kids are only just functioning and are not able to provide that support to family and friends in this position.

I say this as an established feminist, the problem is we removed the (vital) housewife role from society and didn’t fill that gap. Be it childcare (cost and flex to fit around working hours and patterns), aging parents, cleaning and household organisation, mental support to family and friends. Instead, women are increasingly expected to be superwoman and without support at home our kids are entering society without a work ethic in general!

I get that it's hard, but if you could look at getting PIP it might give you the space to take a day when you need one. Pay for a course of therapy.

The fact that life takes 100% of the capacity of many people's mental load is the problem here, and that's not a personal failure, the demands on humans at the minute are too high, and the rewards are not there. We're all having to run faster to stay where we are.

For someone to be deemed unfit to work due to their mental health problems they have severe mental health problems. Those who get PIP (which isn’t an out of work benefit anyway) for mental health problems have severe mental health problems.

taking away from those people won’t do anything to help others with mental health issues. It won’t improve the system for anyone it will make it worse. It would probably lead to an increase in suicide though.

mental heath support on the whole is shockingly awful but that doesn’t mean we need to be in some sort of race to the bottom.

I can't disagree too much.

I struggle massively too. Have had breakdowns and sobbed in the car because just going round the supermarket is so stressful and frightening. Although I do work part time, it feels more manageable.

I guess though that although there are some people who will be able to play the system, you have to give people the benefit of the doubt. We don't know what someone is going through.

Not everyone on PIP just has anxiety either, some will have much more severe mental health illnesses, the government like to stir it up to make us think that they're all just a bit anxious.

You don't get "signed off" to receive PIP. You can claim it if you are working. Put in a claim and if succesful use the money to make some part of your life easier.

I fully admit I have never suffered with mental health issues, although I have gone through very difficult times. So I have no real understanding of how crippling it can be to suffer with these issues. My only input to this discussion is to question why mental health disorders are so prevalent in 2024 and what can be done to mitigate the risk factors? Some are intrinsic but some are situational and the governments around the world need to tackle the root cause. In my mind, its (not limited to) poverty, Covid fall-out, social media, loneliness and isolation (possibly as a result of our focus on the inner rather than outer/real world) and general apathy about the future of our world/environment. Wow that's quite a task, and it leads me to believe this issue will only worsen.

I'm pretty sure that most would suddenly find that they were able to work if you took away their funding.

If they are genuinely as ill as you make out, then they should be on psychiatric wards/institutions, not sitting at home in bed.

If these were the options then I think you'd find significantly fewer people claiming to have mental health conditions.

And where exactly are all these wards?

the fact you think people should be institutionalised as a result of poor mental health says a lot though! Thankfully that is now a very much outdated concept and we have supposedly moved on from the out of sight out of mind mindset.

I think there is a difference between functioning anxiety and depression to complex mental health disorders which incapacitate you from working and need PIP.

Although do agree that functioning anxiety can easily slip and escalate into a full blown problem that requires time off work. I say this as someone who has functioning anxiety and depression on and off and has had periods of sickness and eventually changing my work during those periods.

I think @Blueysworld123 said something really interesting about the gap that was made from the shift to 2 working parent households. I'm also a staunch feminist and work full time with a young child but it's not really the ideal, there aren't enough hours in the day. I outsource my childcare which costs an arm and a leg but can't be a sahm as a single wage wouldn't cover our CoL, I tried part time but couldn't make it add up when I was also then paying for some childcare so we were at a loss each month.

I am on the fence, I have and do suffer badly at times but I go through peaks and troughs. My part time ability has been a life saver, I’m not sure how I would have coped full time and I’m very grateful and privileged to work part time.

It’s great that we have the ability to not work when your mental health is bad and society will support people.

However I know people who won’t go back to the doctors, won’t go on medication and won’t or help themselves to get better. This drives me round the bend and they are becoming a drain on me / friends / society.

I don’t think there can be a blanket statement, some people are most definitely taking the mick and if the benefits were taken away would have to work and would be fine but there is some people who might not.

What is that quote ‘ if you don’t find time for your wellness prepare for your sickness. Disease dis = ease . The body is not in balance. OP something like yoga may help if you don’t want to go down the anti depressants route. I often wonder if I suffer with mental illness or stress or if it is the same thing .

The mysterious and uncountable 'they' eh. The benefit scroungers and the professionally sick. Except nobody can actually say who that 'they' is, it's just an invisible annoying enemy which is creaming off your hard earned taxes, made up by people who want you to hate everyone else for their own purposes.

I can tell you though that the three human beings I know who are unable to work due to mental ill-health would absolutely jump at the chance to spend time in a psychiatric institution where they might have a chance of actually getting better. Or even have access to any kind of psychiatric or psychological help at all. Do you think those things are easy to come by as an alternative to claiming benefits? Because they are not. They are non-existent even for many of the very worst cases.

I agree OP.

PIP has evolved to be something it never was meant for.

Of course Sunak et al are only looking at PIP as want/need votes and have taken advice and had focus groups etc - but many regular working people do not agree that (whether in work or not) anyone and everyone can apply for PIP with anxiety and depression.

People often cite ‘not all disabilities you can see’ and how ignorant horrible etc but most want the system to support those with disabilities and not those with anxiety as the vast majority of the nation have anxiety (why this is and how the way we live as a society is mostly awful is for another thread)

If everyone in work is entitled to PIP (due to anxiety) I genuinely believe that is 90% of those in employment. Which is great and maybe it should be rolled out for everyone. We need to look at how we live and the society we have created as it’s unsustainable and causes bad blood which isn’t helpful for anyone.

Most want to help disabled people but no longer believe all those claiming PIP are disabled.

But why is this happening? Could it be because parents aren’t teaching their children resilience?

What a weird comment

'Being jealous' is not the same as not wanting to pay for them.

Nobody cares whether they work or not, it's the fact that we are paying for them through our taxes.

Life is tough.

People in the 80s who had mortgages and the interest rates went up to 15%...

Pre-1948 when the benefit system didn't exist and you just had to keep going.

Pre 1908 when there wasn't even a state pension.

I have days when it's just like AAARRRGGHHHH I'm so exhausted, and days where life is good.

I think a lot of people lose focus on what is important in life.

A friend of mine lived in London earning around £30k in publishing, barely affording life after rent in a shared house, and so fed up of being poor and over-worked. She moved to the North East, took a lower paid job, but rent etc... are SO much cheaper that her quality of life has improved. Yes she is further from family, but you have to weigh up what you want from life.