People who work have anxiety too

[Fedupandgrump]

Anyone else on the verge of a breakdown with work, kids, mortgage and cost of living?

I’ve read a lot of threads recently about people with mental health conditions worried about being forced into employment when they feel as though they would not be able to cope. Whilst I sympathise, it’s come at a time where I am completely overwhelmed, burnt out and wonder how the fuck I’m going to get through the week. I treat myself to a half hour sob in Sainsburys car park every couple of days and I wake up every morning with dread, fear and anxiety about what the day will hold. However, I go and work because I. Have. No. Choice. I have two kids and a mad dog that relies on me and my husband to keep our shit together and a roof over our heads. Every day I can feel my heart racing and I feel permanently like I’m in fight or flight mode and I wonder if this is going to lead to a premature heart attack in my 30’s.

I sometimes feel like people who don’t work due to poor mental health thinks those of us who do work, are suffering less than them. I know IAMBU but I can’t help the way I feel at the minute.

Going to work.....and an occasional long indulgent bath in which husband was forced to watch the kids even though I was home....were the only thing that kept me somewhat sane when I was raising little children with their whiney high pitched voices (bless their little voice boxes). I have a fairly good salary and I cannot imagine how other people manage to pay rent and groceries with a lesser salary. You are not being unreasonable. Nobody knows what goes on in someone else's home, or what problems someone else might have, despite appearances.

I am physically disabled and I get frustrated by this too. When I was declined for PIP on my first attempt (really common) they used the fact I worked against me. Apparently sitting at a desk and typing with an adapted keyboard means I can use knives etc to prepare food… Anyway at the time loads of people said “oh just quit work and go on benefits” but I CAN’T! I have a mortgage to pay, a child to support etc etc. I know many people who are less physically disabled than me (and I know this for a fact before people jump on me) but get higher rates of PIP and other support because they don’t work. It’s so disheartening and I am pretty sure than if they did tighten up PIP I’d be the first person to lose it because I dare work. I am a big believer in contributing what you can.. so even if it’s only a few hours a week or you’re studying for a better suited job or whatever.. do SOMETHING people!

That does sound particularly horrendous, did you never work again or was it more a case you couldn't do that job again, but something else was doable?

I've had anxiety and have panic attacks for the last 16 years, it often manifests itself because of work and certain scenarios. But I can't afford not to work. I'm looking at taking retirement at 58, I can't wait to just be able to 'not' have to be in a constant state of having to 'just keep pushing on'

Also, my dh had to work, he was the main earner in our household and we had a ds just starting uni and one in school. He had responsibilities but not he was so mentally ill that none of this mattered to him, he was so far gone in his head that the mortgage and bills never even crossed his mind. He didn't care if he lived or died. We lost our home when he lost his job, everything fell on me to sort out. He went from being a sensible, responsible member of the community to behaving like a helpless child. That's what serious mental illness does to you, it isn't a lifestyle choice.

100000 percent agree!

Some people are beyond that for whatever reason

Completely broken to the point they can not function

I have panic disorder and I work two jobs. I consider myself lucky.

Never have I considered that those signed off due to mental illness (or illness of any kind) have it easy. It's not, it's shit.

All of you working should apply for PIP, I get it, and you don't have to be unable to work. It gives me the option to take a half day off to go to therapy (I'm self-employed) without my kids going hungry.

Total guff.

Both anxiety and depression affect people differently.

Some are able to work, some aren’t and for some it’s a roller coaster.

Everything will still be waiting for me when I get back, so I would have two weeks to recover (or whatever) and then come back to huge piles of shit which will be worse as they've been waiting. The stress of the thought is worse.

All these benefit applicants that have somehow managed to trick doctors, specialists and gov't appointed health assessors should all take up acting if they are so good at faking it!

Sadly I don't think there's enough acting work out there.

Otherwise you'd be right, that would solve the problem.

I have been very ill with anxiety and left paid employment because of it. It wasn't a case of just trying that bit harder to push through. The effects of the anxiety on my mental and physical health meant (as you might put it OP) that I. Had. No. Choice.

It would have been nice to have the choice of not losing my mind, confidence and livelihood.

I am interested in whether these people are broken for the rest of their lives and can never function as a parent/spouse/worker, or there are periods where things have been awful as described, but then as with most things in life when you hit the bottom, you can only go up (eventually) and it's a one off or cyclical issue?

87% YANBU - says it all.

Honest, hardworking people, who pay more than their share have had enough of this

as Awful as it is it that everyone here is having to push through, and they’re going because they see no other option; I wonder if they realise that the flip side is the ones who are so severely mentally unwell, can’t even see into the next hour, let alone day. They have no concept of bills needing to be paid. They are broken. And, in fact, they are probably not thinking of anything at all except getting the god awfulness in their mind and body to stop. They are not going to be a productive work force; and no employer will want them.
Forcing those with such severe MH issues to work will create more problems than it solves.

And, PIP is hell to claim, despite what we are fed by the media, it is not dished out to all and sundry.

I've got 'genuine' anxiety disorder and depression. Schizo-affective disorder classed as a severe mental illness. Multiple admissions under section, CTO, supported housing and always been in some form of employment. Its a protective factor & I've had the support & treatment to be able to manage it
That doesn't take away from someone who may have a 'mild' mental illness that is barely functioning.
As they say you've met one person with a mental illness but you've only met that one person. Everyone is different & no one needs judgey comments.

I agree.

I would imagine all of these consequences are possible.

In my case I lived off savings for a couple of years then went back into employment in a lower paid, lower status job.

@Tunnocksmallow how do those people survive though, if they can't see to the next minute/hour etc? Who feeds them? Who looks after their children/pets? Do they never do these tasks again?

@Tunnocksmallow Well said!

@LauderSyme thank you for replying.

Yeah, I got tired, stressed and anxious rearing two kids, and running a home and husband etc while working full time.

I don’t think it’s the same as mental health disability though.

I could clock off at the end of the day. Disability doesn’t switch off.🙄

100% agree. Try working and commuting.

someone said upthread that it is not a competition - burnt out and stressed workers are literally paying for other people not to have to work, because heaven forbid they should support themselves. Disabled people are working to support them too, like my friend who broke her back and is in a wheelchair and working.

I get it OP. Many working people are struggling with juggling many balls and keeping our heads above water but it feels like it's invisible. Were seen as being 'ok' but the struggle and the tiredness can feel relentless.

I don't have answer other than just keep putting one foot forward.