People who work have anxiety too

[Fedupandgrump]

Anyone else on the verge of a breakdown with work, kids, mortgage and cost of living?

I’ve read a lot of threads recently about people with mental health conditions worried about being forced into employment when they feel as though they would not be able to cope. Whilst I sympathise, it’s come at a time where I am completely overwhelmed, burnt out and wonder how the fuck I’m going to get through the week. I treat myself to a half hour sob in Sainsburys car park every couple of days and I wake up every morning with dread, fear and anxiety about what the day will hold. However, I go and work because I. Have. No. Choice. I have two kids and a mad dog that relies on me and my husband to keep our shit together and a roof over our heads. Every day I can feel my heart racing and I feel permanently like I’m in fight or flight mode and I wonder if this is going to lead to a premature heart attack in my 30’s.

I sometimes feel like people who don’t work due to poor mental health thinks those of us who do work, are suffering less than them. I know IAMBU but I can’t help the way I feel at the minute.

I'm autistic and I found it helpful.

You want my autistic children who are both struggling with trauma, ptsd and who have been told the specific types of therapy they need for their conditions to have counselling from a religious voluntary organisation. 😂My daughter self harms and has tried to commit suicide several times. She needs nhs specific treatment.

Thank god it's not just me!

Wow. And he went ahead and did it? That's cold. If my partner had opened up such a conversation with me I'd be doing everything in my power to help them, not cashing in.

They're still qualified counsellors. They volunteer because of their religious beliefs but their qualifications are the same industry recognised ones. Good luck finding support for your children.

Different systems for a start.
Where I live, there is a flex worker scheme, where some people are subsidised to allow the to earn a living even if there are restrictions on their hours. In the UK, they would be on the waste tip and called scroungers.

I was in a comparable situation and have massive life insurance. It is only sensible.

In countries without benefits someone with anxiety would get a job if the job was available, you need to earn to live. In these countries there are no benefits, people who cannot work through severe mental Illness or disability can be supported by charity or family. Anxiety would not even be thought of as relevant to either option by society or the sufferer for that matter. Anxiety is something almost everyone goes through at some point in their life in some capacity. Sure, take a few weeks off work, but making it so ppl can be supported by taxpayers, then no.

Not only do you have anxious ppl off work possibly indefinitely but you also have ppl who would never have a well paid job off too, with the excuse of an invisible unprovable condition. Low paid job vs same income coming in via anxiety- no brainier

This

They don’t need counselling they need specific therapy. Outside of the nhs it’s incredibly hard to find decent therapy, there is a load of shit out there and a whole variety of qualifications that are often meaningless. I could become a counsellor , anybody can, the bar is low. We know the therapies they need and they absolutely aren’t counselling.

THANK YOU

Really well put. I was trying to word something like this but my frustration is making me sound like a butthole whatever I type.

Anxiety and depression is crippling. I’ve suffered and took some time off from work and was lucky to be able to return slowly with support following a breakdown. It still feels like it could happen again - work, family , life balance is very overwhelming.

I have had a family member really struggle and following counselling and medication still struggled with depression and anxiety. For her she eventually found something that helped her loose weight, gain confidence and get a new career (after not working for nearly 10 years) She is still on medication but work for her has really helped.

I have another family member who stopped working 35 years ago and at the age of 30 claimed benefits, he does have a disability. He could have worked though in a job that didn’t involve heavy lifting or walking alot - he refused and can finally no longer be looking for a job due to recent retirement. The GP once recommended a job to him as the social aspect would have helped his depression- he refused got very angry and that was it. The GP was right but he didn’t want to listen. Family member isn’t wealthy and a lifetime on benefits isn’t easy. Work would have really helped. He is retired now but depression is now leading to alcohol - it’s sad.

Asking someone to maybe work or think about it, can help - in the right situation . The routine, the social aspect and financial independence. BUT it won’t work for everyone.

About 15 years ago, I was suicidal. I went to the doctor and told him all about my fantasies of killing myself. I had worked out multiple methods that would be relatively painless and not messy. I was already on antidepressants. I was limping by at work, just coming up with excuses as to why i wasn’t finishing things and had already had a warning. I told him all these things. I said I couldn’t sleep due to anxiety and cried constantly. He basically did nothing. He gave me a website to do CBT. And that was it. Said mental health facilities were too full and to sort myself out privately. I didn’t get one day signed off. I absolutely do not understand how people are signed off for mental health. They are all full of shit as far as I’m concerned. I didn’t even want time off, I just wanted help. About 5 years ago, my neighbor who was a university lecturer with no children was signed off for nearly 2 years for ‘burn out’. (I asked her what she did one day and she told me). Every day I saw her out in the garden relaxing. My husband was also a lecturer in the same department and asked about her. University did not bring in temp help, everyone else was just covering her work. She was on full pay. Can you imagjne. Absolu te garbage system that people abuse use and doctors are complicit in.

You appear to be confused by the level of mental health issues people on disability benefits have

No one is on disability benefits with mental health conditions because its just the usual anxiety that everyone gets in stressful situations

And I have already posted on this thread about the difficulties in getting a job as a disabled person who is already in work. I see like all of the other "well disabled people would get a job if they have to" you haven't addressed the realities of how hard it is even if you want a job if you are disabled

Nevertheless, my point to you stands, you literally contradicted yourself in your first post. But as a disabled person thank you for your education on what disabled people need to do. Your uninformed opinion is so welcome 🙄

Not only that, why are some people trying to normalise the level of anxiety OP is feeling?

It is NOT normal to be crying in your car all the time, hiding in loos, feeling awful about the thought of a new working week. Lots of people suffering the same does not make it ok. 1 in 4 women have suffered sexual assault. That does not make it ok!

If so many people are stressed about work and life, then things need to change.

No one said they CURE anxiety. There are a lot of meds that people take that don’t cure the condition that they’re taken for. BP meds, for one. And a lot of those meds have side effects too.

Anxiety meds have, in my case, kept me alive. I genuinely don’t think I’d have survived without them.

The ableism on this thread is appalling. And the Daily Mail-esque opinions on most sickness benefits claimants faking it is small minded at best.

I get PIP for chronic physical illness, though I mentioned how my anxiety affects me on some of the daily living/getting around questions. Those of you assuming that if my benefit was stopped I’d have to work are so far off the mark. If I had to work, in any capacity, I’d likely end up even more sofa/bedbound than I am now. Possibly even dead.

Some might say ‘but you have a physical illness so it’s different’ - it really isn’t. Mental illness can have many debilitating physical symptoms alongside the debilitating unseen mental symptoms.

And contrary to the popular belief on this thread, I would do anything to be well enough to work again.

This.

I'd start with thyroid bloods too

Absolutely

You clearly have never been so mentally ill that it’s affected you where you CANT work. When I was at uni I went into a deep depression where I was so exhausted that I couldn’t function. I couldn’t leave my uni halls because of my anxiety. I couldn’t eat. All I done was sleep and when I didn’t sleep I would lay there and stare at the wall not being able to function as a ‘normal’ person. When I did ‘function’ I was manic and chopped all my hair off and drunk and drugged myself silly and put myself in dangerous situations. Then I went back into a depressive episode where I tried to end my own life just to make it stop. I couldn’t function as a normal person, let alone if I was in a position to be put in work. I likely would have been more of a danger to myself and others.

if this happens with people who are severely mentally ill being forced into work - watch the suicide rates go up. Why do people think that people don’t WANT to work. It’s because they CANT.

I would say it's wise to make 'reasonable adjustments' for yourself sooner, rather than too late. I'm one of the ones who soldiered through, determined not to let the bastards grind me down, but of course it was grinding me down. A few things happened and I had two full breakdowns. By the end of the second one, I'd lost my career, my home, most of my relationships and was suffocated by debt. This is not a theoretical risk - it really happens.

I'd think about having a serious talk with DH, seeing your doctor, and possibly putting in a PIP claim (it's not income-dependent) if you need extra funds for a therapist. Move your mental resilience up the priority scale and make time for it.

While I may have opinions about some younger people's stress, anxiety and fatigue issues (!) it is a good thing on the whole that society's more aware of the need for mental health care. Yours is clearly interfering with your capacity to function normally, and I strongly recommend taking it seriously.

If you want added motivation: my life didn't get better afterwards, I just became more able to cope with the mountainous snowball of issues originating in that period. It's not like getting over the flu. Far better to see it coming and take evasive action.

Wishing you a following wind

I dont work because i'm a carer, i'm also physically disabled.

My phone is my lifeline, without it i would have almost NO contact with the outside world, it'd just be me, my kids and the 4 walls. with it i can talk to my friends, laugh with them, join voice chats, join streams, talk, socialise, and feel NORMAL for a bit.. not like a washed up, broken cripple.

Don't make sweeping judgements. For many disabled people, their phone is their window to the world..

The whole PIP process is humiliating and demeaning.

People think its so easy to get. Think again people.

First time was knocked back twice and overturned at tribunal.

Then this time due to back log I had a year of extreme uncertainty and stress which aggravated my mental health extremely.

I was given it in March after year of feeling sick to my stomach every day.

Then this story broke so back to feel the pits.

We have to deal with everyone's opinions and thoughts and how mental health is just "anxiety that everyone gets"

It's not. It's feeling suicidal daily, it's the decision to not have children because I don't want to be stuck here and it's feeling like you're lying or doing something wrong because of people's views like in this post and Sunaks plans.

Everyone stop comparing and start looking at Rishi. We all argue while he lit the match an now can sit back an watch us all burn.

The tories mate ran off with PPE scandal, they partied through covid but preached at us.

Its all a disgrace. And all the pathetic comments in this thread are so upsetting and I just think what hope do we have to keep PIP.

As someone who works in mental health and has relatives who have severe and enduring mental health difficulties (repeatedly sectioned, on so much medication that they are mainly catatonic) and are unlikely to ever be able to work or live independently, YABU. Yes lots of people are struggling and still working, but sometimes difficulties exceed our ability to cope and function. Also, shouldn't we be aiming for a society where people aren't working themselves to an early grave and being constantly miserable as you describe, rather than making the lives of those who are already suffering even more difficult.

Wrong, won’t say in what capacity but I see the medical records. Huge amount of ppl off work and on benefits with anxiety and depression. Nothing more complicated, obviously self reported.

Saw one person recently saying they had anxiety and when asked the symptoms said dizziness, when in danger of being sent for an MRI, they changed it to the symptoms for anxiety that can be found on the top line of Google.

I hope to god you're not a GP.