People who work have anxiety too

[Fedupandgrump]

Anyone else on the verge of a breakdown with work, kids, mortgage and cost of living?

I’ve read a lot of threads recently about people with mental health conditions worried about being forced into employment when they feel as though they would not be able to cope. Whilst I sympathise, it’s come at a time where I am completely overwhelmed, burnt out and wonder how the fuck I’m going to get through the week. I treat myself to a half hour sob in Sainsburys car park every couple of days and I wake up every morning with dread, fear and anxiety about what the day will hold. However, I go and work because I. Have. No. Choice. I have two kids and a mad dog that relies on me and my husband to keep our shit together and a roof over our heads. Every day I can feel my heart racing and I feel permanently like I’m in fight or flight mode and I wonder if this is going to lead to a premature heart attack in my 30’s.

I sometimes feel like people who don’t work due to poor mental health thinks those of us who do work, are suffering less than them. I know IAMBU but I can’t help the way I feel at the minute.

There absolutely are treatments. All sorts of therapies that can be highly successful. People
have anxiety for different reason.

Yes. 100%

The UK economy has been in decline since just after the first World War.....

The high point for working people just after WW11 with significant state control of the economy, introduction of the welfare state, the NHS, huge investment in social housing, rising wages, greater social mobility came about in response to the fact that prior to the war workers were 'out' during the 20s every industry had strikes, and membership of the communist party trippled.

And our collective response to our immiseration is either take pills and carry on or become a work dodger.

It's long been noted by sociologists and some economists that some of these work dodgers know themselves to be work dodging and that work doesn't pay. And increasingly the middle class two waged families are finding out for themselves that work doesn't pay. Where one main wage previously kept a family, or bought a home, we now see that even two wages in so called "middle class career jobs" is no longer enough to keep the middle classes above the sludge they have despised.

The cost of living is not solved by pills and therapy.

NHS waiting lists are a big part.

Because kids aren’t getting treatment and they grow into adults. Adults don’t get treated and just get worse. Our education system is shit and our government does literally nothing to sort out issues,MH services have been run into the ground. ….

Gosh this thread is depressing. The government have got exactly what they want, haven't they?

There are treatments and there are therapies that can be successful … but as that poster said, there isn’t a cure. Not everyone is or can be cured.

The fact treatments exist does not mean people can access them.

NHS waiting lists see young people wait years for treatment, while conditions worsen and become entrenched.

Yes absolutely.

System justification is strong on here.

'I feel shit and want to watch someone else feel even shitter than me' is a sorry sight to see.

Yes I know my children are experiencing just that. My daughter has attempted suicide several times when overwhelmed . She just gets the home treatment team sticking plaster- still not the therapy she needs. So it goes on. But hey she should just pull herself together and go to work. Right?

You’ll have to forgive my language, I’m one of those ‘people who don’t currently work due to my mental health’.

The level of ‘thick and uneducated’ on this thread is astounding. So many people clearly don’t have a basic understanding of how severe anxiety disorders and other psychiatric illnesses can impact someone out of the blue.

I’d much rather be back in my £200k job, enjoying the life I once had. Instead I curl into a ball most days, screaming when the flashbacks of my child rapes overwhelm me. Being sectioned. Attempting suicide. In and out of private and NHS hospitals at an immense cost to me and the public.

To anyone else who is struggling with their mental health, do what you can to survive, if that’s the outcome you desire.

Surviving isn’t living for many of us.

Everything I had was available on the NHS so I have only had what is available to all (over the course of 40 years of illness).

It’s not available to others. It simply isn’t there. You have been incredibly fortunate.

And now pretty much none of that is available. So all the help you have had - for free - is not available any more.

@Toetouchingtitties

No, and in fact I think being out of work would be extremely bad for my mental health (and is for others). For many people (including me), avoiding anxiety provoking situations is one of the worst things you can do for anxiety. The times I've been most poorly are the times I've retreated into myself and avoided forcing myself into situations that made me anxious. I'm NOT saying this is the case for everyone - but I do believe it's the case for lots of people. I'm clearly not talking about people who are sectioned or close to sectioned or anything along those lines. I'm talking about the people who are signed off long term with anxiety or depression without ever taking any steps. Getting therapy isn't easy after - good therapy can be really uncomfortable and confronting.

I'm sorry but that's categorically not true in my area. A group that helped me with CBT twice actually go out and about in our local area to advertise their services, as that's how much capacity they have to help people (for free). The counselling was via a religious group (I am not religious).

I had a nasty bout of depression at the end of 2020. (Not surprised, I was working in a supermarket, miles from my family, and feeling incredibly cut off from them, while being completely out of my routine, and then the HMO I was living in got a flea infestation and that tipped me over the edge.) I was asked if I wanted time off sick but needed to keep working as I had work friends who gave me hugs and I needed that human contact!

Although I bloody well understand if people do get signed off sick with depression. It can be absolutely crippling. These are the people who can't get out of bed, and who feel no joy in anything. During this time I spent a few 24 hour periods in bed, so I know how that felt.

As someone with chronic depression and occasional suicidal thoughts I agree with you.
I am here because of sheer will to keep going and slight cowardice of the end, I have recently thought about going on sick leave for stress due to burnout (I am one of the more capable people in the team so am given the more complicated workload which includes periods of high pressure and I'm also managing the school run and pick ups).
I suppose partially it's my fault I don't kick up a fuss but then also my child and dh depend on me.
So I keep plodding on.

Sorry but you're wrong. It absolutely is - the services I accessed (including recently) are still available and with very little in the way of a wait. The counselling was through a religious voluntary organisation.

😂CBT isn’t going to help my children, it’s known to not be that great for autism and isn’t what has been recommended.

Absolutely they are.

Also pension ages - a 62 year old jobless person in Italy or France wouldn't be classed as unemployed - they'd be getting their state pension.

It may have been available in the past, but it's certainly not available now.

I was referred for NHS therapy in 2019 and I'm still waiting.

I work in healthcare and have worked with many people over the years with enduring mental health issues who have been unable to work. They don't tend to live in nice homes that they own. They may be lucky and have good family support so have a nice home funded by a partner or a parent. Those that don't often live in poor housing, social or private rented and have little income for anything beyond the basics in life. They may have children who are often young carers and who have to live with their parent scraping together for basics / using food banks.
That is often the reality for people who are unable to work due to poor metal health. So those things that the OP HAS to keep working to be able to afford have gone. They aren't suddenly being funded by the state.
And of course these people would rather chose a safe comfortable life that isn't a daily fight, but their illness won't allow it.

As someone has already said, please stop punching down.

Then you're incredibly lucky - but believe me, that's not the case for many areas.

Likewise.

I'm fairly sure I'll die young-ish, from a stress induced heart attack. I made DH take out a huge life insurance policy on me, so he and DS will be financially sorted if I die.