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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What's the most snobbish thing you've heard out loud?

1000 replies

Applescruffle · 29/04/2024 17:33

Online doesn't count. It has to be something said in person.

Here's mine, from two separate people:

"The house was perfect, but if I'm paying that much for it, I don't want to have to drive through a council estate to get there".

"We looked round (school) and it was our favourite, but there's so many council houses round that area so he would just have too many council estate kids in his class with him"

OP posts:
upinclouds · 30/04/2024 22:01

Drove past the back of a holiday camp with a friend recently, first she asked if it was an army camp - I said it reminded me of happy childhood holidays, to which she replied "oh, we never went to those sort of places, we always holidayed in Italy or the south of France" 🙄

Calliopespa · 30/04/2024 22:02

sevenseasoftea · 30/04/2024 21:41

A "friend" of mine once asked in a disgusted tone why "working class people feed their kids so much junk" this was from a guy who was a barely functional alcoholic who was always pissing himself when he was drunk which was pretty much all the time. He came from a hugely privileged back ground of private school, lots of holidays abroad, tennis lessons, extra tutoring, grew up in a huge stone villa with a housekeeper who did all the cooking and shopping.

I tried to explain to him that when you grow up poor that there isn't often much choice either through money or time and energy to cook from scratch and that as there isn't money for trips, holidays or hobbies that often the big treat is a bag of chips or some sweets. He just screwed up his face in even more disgust. Someone like that could never understand or would ever care to.

I think I actually know him …

W0rkerBee · 30/04/2024 22:03

MariaVT65 · 30/04/2024 05:23

I think i sounded snobby to my son’s key worker at nursery when she told me they’d taken the bus to the library that day, and i’d said that would have been his first time on a bus.

i felt like this going in to town for a work christmas lunch last december. two colleagues and I got on the bus and they were both so jolly ''how much?'' ''really?'' 3.80? Gosh. do you take debit card? I was dying. It was like such a novel experience for them. They assumed the driver was on board with them for their new experience. I just tapped on and sat down. Strangers were tapping on for them just to make the pain stop.

Ladybird69 · 30/04/2024 22:03

Cecily, Lettice run along with the au pair darlings!!! Said by a snobby mare quaffing champagne at a picnic at Longleat!

overheard at school Christmas play. ‘Daddy, can we go skiing this weekend’?
we live close to a ski centre!!! So that’s what I was thinking until Daddy replied ‘yes of course darling I’ll see what flights I can find’!!!!!! 😳

Calliopespa · 30/04/2024 22:06

SeanBeansMealDeal · 30/04/2024 20:12

I don't buy that rich people have no idea how poor/ordinary people live - unless they're maybe royals, when they only ever see the good side of everything (and it always smells of fresh paint!)

They must sometimes read/watch/hear the news and/or interact on online forums - and indeed with ordinary folk in meatspace, when they serve them in shops and restaurants, clean for them, service their car, cut their hair, tradesmen etc. etc. Other than maybe their very young children, they know full well that they're very privileged compared to the majority.

In fact, even Prince William has spoken out about homelessness and wanting to try to tackle it. Whether he actually does anything effective remains to be seen, but even a from-birth royal knows and acknowledges that there are loads of people in the UK who live dramatically less luxurious lives than they do.

In fairness he probably had staff who brief him after going out to research 🧐 these existences.

Lemonandginger1 · 30/04/2024 22:09

Overhead in IKEA: 'Penelope Jane go and find your brother Sorley'

Calliopespa · 30/04/2024 22:10

Pliudev · 30/04/2024 19:31

Not sure this is snobbery or something else. A woman I knew a while ago set up a business that relied on creating an image to go with it. She posts photographs and descriptions of her perfect family and her wonderful man and their delightful animals on their fabulous westcountry farm. The farm is actually a small bungalow on a main road opposite Asda. I don’t know what the postman makes of the name of said bungalow, XXXXX Farm, but I do know her online customers frequently write about how much they envy her lifestyle and how they'd like to swap their humdrum lives for her perfect one. Maybe I'm being a snob for finding it funny..

I have several businesses in mind that could be this one… I will be perusing their marketing from now on - looking for an Aldi at the edge of the shot !

sevenseasoftea · 30/04/2024 22:12

Calliopespa · 30/04/2024 22:02

I think I actually know him …

Maybe, but sadly I don't think he's a unique case!

Projectme · 30/04/2024 22:13

SevenSeasOfRhye · 30/04/2024 18:26

When was this? Back in the 80s and earlier, Sindy had a vaguely realistic body shape, in comparison to Barbie's ridiculous figure. I can see why a parent might choose Sindy; I always had Sindys (and my family is dead common).

Late 70's/ early 80s

PadstowGirl · 30/04/2024 22:15

Thepeopleversuswork · 29/04/2024 20:34

My boss has told me never to tell clients or colleagues that I sometimes buy clothes at charity shops. Apparently it “sets the wrong tone”. (I am not coming into work with holes in my clothes or nan-knitted cardigans either - any charity shop clothes I do buy are nearly new and designer or high end high street).

Absolutely nothing wrong with a Nan knitted cardigan.

Calliopespa · 30/04/2024 22:19

JudgeJ · 30/04/2024 19:54

Having taught children with extra needs I am quite good at deciphering poor spelling!

Why would someone who teaches sen be so disparaging about spelling?

FourSteeples · 30/04/2024 22:23

Ladybird69 · 30/04/2024 22:03

Cecily, Lettice run along with the au pair darlings!!! Said by a snobby mare quaffing champagne at a picnic at Longleat!

overheard at school Christmas play. ‘Daddy, can we go skiing this weekend’?
we live close to a ski centre!!! So that’s what I was thinking until Daddy replied ‘yes of course darling I’ll see what flights I can find’!!!!!! 😳

Luxurious, indulgent, indicative of a lot of money and a cavalier attitude to carbon footprint, sure, but there’s nothing ‘snobbish’ about the latter, surely.

Nextdoor55 · 30/04/2024 22:23

FourSteeples · 29/04/2024 18:21

Yes, I’ve just come from seeing a friend in her late 40s who’s currently hospitalised with her organs on the point of shutting down, and she always says her highly selective private school was her anorexic training ground.

Eh? people with this disorder aren't all from private schools

PadstowGirl · 30/04/2024 22:24

JohnSt1 · 30/04/2024 18:55

Classmate: "Your mother must be so proud of you being accepted to [name of university].
Me: "She's pleased for me. How about yours?"
Classmate: "Where I come from everyone goes to university."

When we graduated, her parents were whisked away and nobody met them. I often wondered if she thought her parents were actually too common. She would have been showing them off otherwise.

Another time I was reading a newspaper in the presence of a different classmate:
"Shouldn't you be reading the Daily Mail."

In both cases they were from nouveau-riche social climbing families, and seemed desperate to appear "posh".

Durham?
I know several working class kids who left there (recently) as they felt horribly mocked.

nothingcomestonothing · 30/04/2024 22:28

Not sure if this is snobbish or just oblivious.

In the 80s my dad was an accountant in a factory, which paid its office staff monthly and factory staff weekly. They changed to paying everyone weekly, but had a transition period where factory staff could ask for an advance to tide them over while they adjusted to being paid monthly. The managing director didn't understand why my dad was approving all these salary advances, and asked why if the factory workers needed £100 or so, why didn't they just look in their wallet? He thought everyone carried a float of £100 or so in their wallet all the time. My dad had to explain that £100 was 2 weeks wages to some of their staff, and not the sort of amount they just had on them as a float.

Calliopespa · 30/04/2024 22:32

boysnameinspo · 30/04/2024 19:29

I had one like this as well.

”It’s amazing, I’ve been here three weeks with all these state school kids and haven’t been stabbed yet.” Said to me, a state school kid who was sorely tempted at that moment.

Are you sure these weren’t jokes? I know lots of posh guys who think this is kind of self deprecating humour ( ie; I’m so out of touch ha ha) . Not saying I find it funny, but I do know people who would MEAN it to be even if it isn’t.

Leah5678 · 30/04/2024 22:34

SeanBeansMealDeal · 30/04/2024 20:12

I don't buy that rich people have no idea how poor/ordinary people live - unless they're maybe royals, when they only ever see the good side of everything (and it always smells of fresh paint!)

They must sometimes read/watch/hear the news and/or interact on online forums - and indeed with ordinary folk in meatspace, when they serve them in shops and restaurants, clean for them, service their car, cut their hair, tradesmen etc. etc. Other than maybe their very young children, they know full well that they're very privileged compared to the majority.

In fact, even Prince William has spoken out about homelessness and wanting to try to tackle it. Whether he actually does anything effective remains to be seen, but even a from-birth royal knows and acknowledges that there are loads of people in the UK who live dramatically less luxurious lives than they do.

The rich boy in saltburn wasn't stupid he knew the difference between actually poor and average. That's why the scene was so shocking because it was when the viewer realises the main character is a batshit insane bullshitter haha I only brought saltburn up because someone's comment reminded me of that scene

FourSteeples · 30/04/2024 22:35

Calliopespa · 30/04/2024 22:32

Are you sure these weren’t jokes? I know lots of posh guys who think this is kind of self deprecating humour ( ie; I’m so out of touch ha ha) . Not saying I find it funny, but I do know people who would MEAN it to be even if it isn’t.

Yes, I think quite a few on this thread are jokes.

eise · 30/04/2024 22:38

jeaux90 · 29/04/2024 19:37

Ex boyfriend asked for a certain wine in a restaurant. The sommelier was a lovely man and replied yes we do but it's at the expensive end...the BF said "Do I look poor?"

That's a valid question.

Leah5678 · 30/04/2024 22:39

sevenseasoftea · 30/04/2024 21:41

A "friend" of mine once asked in a disgusted tone why "working class people feed their kids so much junk" this was from a guy who was a barely functional alcoholic who was always pissing himself when he was drunk which was pretty much all the time. He came from a hugely privileged back ground of private school, lots of holidays abroad, tennis lessons, extra tutoring, grew up in a huge stone villa with a housekeeper who did all the cooking and shopping.

I tried to explain to him that when you grow up poor that there isn't often much choice either through money or time and energy to cook from scratch and that as there isn't money for trips, holidays or hobbies that often the big treat is a bag of chips or some sweets. He just screwed up his face in even more disgust. Someone like that could never understand or would ever care to.

Oh you met the wealthy version of my dad 😂 just swap "working class people" to "fat fuckers"

orangeleopard · 30/04/2024 22:41

I had a friend who is the most entitled person I’d ever met. We were so different and she’d always turn her nose up at me. She lives at home (27) with her family to save to move out, and had never paid a single penny in rent, bills, food etc. She claimed that she couldn’t afford to move out but would pay £70 on a cocktail in London and drop £27k outright on a car. Her parents were struggling with the cost of living and asked her to contribute and she turned round and told me ‘why should I pay, I told them that I wouldn’t be able to afford to move out and would end up stuck in pit of a council house like you forever’. Safe to say we’re no longer friends.

KnackeredandWiser · 30/04/2024 22:41

Not particularly snobbish, but more of a complete lack of awareness of how stuff works in real life.

Many years ago I attended a training weekend for a professional qualification and shared a taxi to the station with two very lovely but very posh and privileged young ladies.

When our taxi arrived at the station, which had been delayed due to roadworks, their train back to London had arrived and was on the platform. Posh Young Lady 1 advised Posh Young Lady 2 to run down to the platform to ask the train driver to delay the train's departure until they could both retrieve their luggage and find their seats. She actually said "Speak to the driver, he'll understand"

Needless to say this did not happen and the train left without them. I might have waved to them from the opposite platform....

But it still boggles me that there are people out there who think that this is a thing.

Charlize43 · 30/04/2024 22:44

My first office boss when I was 17 was a horrible Sandi Toksvig type who often used to say 'I'm an educated white woman who's used to giving orders.'

It wasn't that it was always said in such a condescending way, but it always intrigued me at her inclusion of the word 'white'...

Monstersunderthesea · 30/04/2024 22:45

PadstowGirl · 30/04/2024 22:15

Absolutely nothing wrong with a Nan knitted cardigan.

Love knitted in with every stitch.

Grammarnut · 30/04/2024 22:57

Harls1969 · 30/04/2024 18:54

Absolutely. My mum told me that I should watch Blue Peter because Magpie was for rough people (or words to that effect). We were working class, my dad worked in a factory ffs 😂

Love it. We watched both, depending on what was going on. I remember Marianne Faithful singing 'as tears go by' on Blue Peter. I can't remember Magpie showcasing a drug addict!

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