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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

or rather, did I over-react? Colleague thought it would be funny to spread a rumour as an April Fools joke that the father of my unborn child is my boss, not my DH

84 replies

MamaG · 02/04/2008 08:49

I was NOT impressed and told her so in no uncertain terms.

Apart from the fact that I don't want bloody rumours about the parenthood of my baby flying around the office (of course, it is DH's, no doubt about that !!) its effing unprofessional!

Should I have laughed it off, or was I right to be annoyed?

OP posts:
TotalChaos · 02/04/2008 08:50

yanbu. for all they know your husband may be a paranoid control freak who would have believed the rumour!

Twiglett · 02/04/2008 08:50

you're right

that's appalling

it's the same as that old folk story about the feathers (will find...)

MrsTittleMouse · 02/04/2008 08:51

I would be seriously unimpressed. What if someone heard the rumour but not the "joke" at the end?

WelliesAndPyjamas · 02/04/2008 08:52

bit of an unusual joke to play for april fool's... I probably would have been annoyed too, as well as very surprised at the choice of joke.

MamaG · 02/04/2008 08:52

thanks

OP posts:
harleyd · 02/04/2008 08:52

i think you were very restrained in not throttling her
how the fuck is that meant to be funny

cmotdibbler · 02/04/2008 08:52

very, very unfunny indeed - I think that its one of the things that a colleague especially shouldn't do

zippitippitoes · 02/04/2008 08:53

yanbu

does your colleague not have any social skills at all

Lulumama · 02/04/2008 08:54

YANBU

not funny, very nasty actually

becasue there will always be people who think 'there's no smoke without fire' etc.. and these sorts of rumours always get embellished

it is disgraceful actually and am on your behalf.

i hope she formally apologises and makes sure every single person knows it was a 'joke'

LarryVeestAdamAntSpawnChorus · 02/04/2008 08:54

what an idiot (colleague, not you).

I'll save a sympathetic 'it's yer hormones' spiel for when you give us the update that you've walloped her round the head with a stapler.

fryalot · 02/04/2008 08:54

YANBU.

at all.

In a few months, people will forget that it was April Fools Day when they heard this rumour and just remember that they heard it.

In fact, I don't think you would be unreasonable to make a complaint about her.

Tis awful

poor you {{{hugs}}}

MamaG · 02/04/2008 08:54

OH I'm glad you are all in agreement! Luckily she'd told the two girls she shares an office with that she was going to do it, but before she could start, one of the girls came and said to me "um, don't kcik off, but..." so I had chance to go in to her and go mad ask her not to !

I could tell she thought i had a sense of humour failure, but I was SO ANGRY!

OP posts:
Twiglett · 02/04/2008 08:54

email her this and then copy in the company

I am really upset by your supposed April Fool. It was not funny nor appropriate to spread malicious gossip about my unborn child.

An Old Folk Tale

"A woman repeated a bit of gossip about a neighbor.

Within a few days the whole community knew the story. The person it concerned was deeply hurt and offended. Later, the woman responsible for spreading the rumor learned that it was completely untrue. She was very sorry and went to a wise old sage to find out what she could do to repair the damage.

"Go to the marketplace," he said, "and purchase a chicken, and have it killed. Then on your way home, pluck its feathers and drop them one by one along the road." Although surprised by
this advice, the woman did what she was told.

The next day the wise man said, "Now, go and collect all those feathers you dropped yesterday and bring them back to me."

The woman followed the same road, but to her dismay the wind had blown all the feathers away. After searching for hours, she returned with only three feathers in her hand.

"You see," said the old sage, "It's easy to drop them, but it is impossible to get them back.

So it is with gossip.

It doesn't take much to spread a rumor, but once you do you can never completely undo the wrong."

mumblechum · 02/04/2008 08:55

god what an utter fuckwit your colleague is

LilyMunster · 02/04/2008 08:57

blimey thats weird!

tbh, i think id have laughed it off for the utterly ridiculous suggestion it is, rather than gotten angry for fear of making people think there was somethign to it!

but then, you have pg hormones, so youre forgiven a lot

MamaG · 02/04/2008 08:58

I think I will email her that Twiglett, I still don't think she did anything wrong, so this might make her realise

OP posts:
blueshoes · 02/04/2008 08:58

MamaG, you could possibly sue for slander, particuarly if malicious.

A friend put paid to malicious workplace rumours in this way by getting her dh to ask the source to desist, otherwise they would take legal action. Worked. So sorry this has happened.

Tippychick · 02/04/2008 08:58

YANBU
In fact I would mention something to HR myself.

fryalot · 02/04/2008 08:58

so you got to her before she spread it around?

that's good.

daft bint (her not you)

elesbells · 02/04/2008 08:59

YANBU - at all. Its not even funny. What a stupid thing to do.

MamaG · 02/04/2008 09:01

We're only a small office, don't have a HR dept as such, just the practice manager. I have emailed her Twiglett's feather story and will see what response I get. If she's genuinely sorry and sees it was out of order, I'll leave it there.

I was shocked at first, so when I was speaking to her I was a bit "well I'd rather you didn't do that" but she was laughing and saying "oh it will be funny" so I got a bit heated

OP posts:
fryalot · 02/04/2008 09:02

is she 15?

MamaG · 02/04/2008 09:02

lol

She's 37 ffs! no children

OP posts:
fryalot · 02/04/2008 09:03

aaaah! no children!

Anna8888 · 02/04/2008 09:04

YANBU. A joke in very poor taste.

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