Do boys stay in touch as adults?

[jumpingjacksss]

If you have adult boys, do they stay in touch much once left home? I have 2 boys both v young and I would hate to hardly see them once left home so hence asking on here for your experiences with adult sons

Of course. But a lot depends on the relationship you have with their partners

One of my adult sons has left home. He rings me ALL.THE.TIME. Seriously, almost oppressively often…🤣

They aren't as good as my girls are, to be honest. The girls Whatsapp 2 or 3 times a week generally.

One DS is roughly 100 miles away and works v long hours and has a busy social life. He always responds to a text/phone call - but rarely initiates one. I can go 3/4 weeks without hearing anything from him and will eventually phone him for a chat. He's just really busy I think. Always pleased to hear from me.

The other one is just out of his teens and has just moved in with a GF and texts about once a week. Literally sends about 3 words. Last week I got 'You ok ?x' And was clearly satisfied by me texting back, 'Fine thanks - how are you?' because he didn't bother answer that. Clearly I'm still alive and that's enough. He's only about 7 miles away but hasn't bothered come round for over a fortnight. I daresay he'll turn up if he wants something.

My husband talks to his Mother about important stuff before he tells me. It’s great feeling like the second woman in his life

It's half and half in my family brothers and sisters, and half and half who are in very regular contact vs less regular contact. But it's not based on gender, just personality and personal circumstances. I think my siblings who are the happiest in their own lives have the least contact, so I hope I'm a lonely Mum someday because my DC are happy in their lives, and don't need me so much.

This is a pointless question because everyone is different. My husband stayed in touch with his parents - I (female) did not stay in touch with mine. It is always the choice of the individual, so nobody can tell you what will happen with your sons, OP.

I hope mine kids stay in touch with each other as well as with us a parents.
it’s so strange to think as kids they do everything together and even sleep in the same bed and then can go separate ways as adults :(

I hope and pray that they get closer as adults and are actively and happily in each others lives

My 24 year old son is working in Vancouver. He is pretty good at calling every 1-2weeks fir catch up He sends me funny pics on WhatsApp.
Older son going to Oz later this year so am hoping he will be as vigilant with catch ups .
We are very close So am hopeful.

husband sees his mom nearly every day because he drops our son off there as she looks after him

DS24 has just come for part of our holiday abroad. He often comes or meets up with us on holidays. Comes for Christmas and Easter, and we meet up with him in London while doing other things several times a year. We message at least every other day.

There's an old saying about how a daughter is a daughter all her life and a son is a son until he takes a wife

......oft quoted on MN, but it is a load of sexist nonsense.

My ds messages me more than my dds - which I accept is anecdotal data from one family - but, amongst people I know of all ages, it is still nonsense.

My husband visits his mum n dad weekly, sometimes we all go, sometimes just him.

DS is 31. Went to a University miles away, went abroad for a year and is now a HOD at a secondary school about 2 hours from us. This lead to a pattern of seeing each other about every 6 weeks, basically in half term and end of terms. He usually comes for several days at a time sometimes with but usually without his partner. She is lovely.
Rings fortnightly and texts whenever, usually about sport.
To be honest I wish they lived closer so they or we could just pop in without the need to arrange and stay over.

My DH (51) hasn’t lived close to his parents for years, but he speaks to them at least once a week and visits every few months. He took them on holiday last October ( just him and his parents), I stayed at home as DS had school. He’s very fond of them.

Depends on many factors. If you have created an atmosphere that will facilitate that then don't worry. Even then, they may want to live a busy life, so it is out of your control.

My son and I communicate in some way on a daily basis.

My experience tells me boys are more homebodies than girls, but, obviously, this is not the same across the board.

I have two sons, 21 and 18 away at uni. We FaceTime once a week, they rarely make contact in between but I think that's ok.
We have a great time when they're home, lots of contact and holidays.
DH phones his parents once a week. SIL has always been their favourite on every level, even receiving house deposits and wedding payments whilst DH got nothing for either, so that's hard to forget and the contact is more forced and duty bound.

Yes, very much so, despite geographical distance. DS1 has just been keeping me entertained via WhatsApp while I've sat through a travel delay. Don't worry, they won't change personality at 18. You'll continue whatever dynamic you have, just with greater maturity.

Sure I exchange texts with mine every day! At the moment he's on his way home from kickboxing!
He's only 20 but he moved out just before he was 18.

I think my MIL thinks I'm one of those 'bitches' who took her son away.

Two sides to every story - she hasn't been very nice to either DH or myself since we got together, hence we have drifted away. She also expects to be the no 1 woman in his life (she's divorced from his dad btw) and even expected him to leave me in hospital having a miscarriage to go and visit her.

So yes, some of it does depend on your relationship with your DIL, but it's not always the DIL at fault, and that is something to be mindful of.

My four live in the nearest city to us, and we probably see them every month, either we go up to them, or they come here and stay the weekend.

We speak to them most weeks.

Dh calls his mum and keeps in touch with her but we relocated so only really physically see her when we visit or she visits (2-3 times a year).

If your kids decided the same you'd be best supporting them. Children are meant to spread their wings. My kids are only 5 and 2 but if they wanted to live In Australia when they're older or whatever I'd do whatever I could to help.

My DH is 46. He sees his mum once a week and calls/messages her once or twice too. My brother (engaged, living with his girlfriend) speaks with/messages our parents every other day and sees them once a week too. It’s only a sample of 2 but they are very different people with very different backgrounds (culturally as well as class) so looks like the odds of them staying in touch are pretty good!

We’ve got a family what’s app all adult children 2 x DS 1 xDD in with 2 still at home and us
there is general chit chat from someone everyday where most of us chip in
but 1 to 1 contact varies child to child parent to parent. Mine often ring me for practical advice, use their dad for more chatty stuff
it also comes and goes - sometimes you hear from one a lot for a while then not so much
also they will sometimes complain we aren’t in touch with them as much as we should be!
i love the fact all the siblings get on most of all
theres no magic formula part of them becoming adults is to separate from you
I find making sure I make amazing meals and give them a really comfortable bed and fun when they do visit makes them want to visit more !

Husband and brothers v close to parents. My brother v close to my parents. First son at uni keeps in touch a lot. Second son at home, after a spell of teenage grumpiness, spends a lot of time with us.