To say no to Fortnite?

[wtafwtaf]

I'm a teacher and have some awareness of various games and what they're like for children. We said no to Roblox but yes to Minecraft. No mobile phone yet and hoping to eek that out. I bloody hate YouTube for various reasons; he's allowed a timed amount occasionally.

He has lots of friends and is very sporty, arty, into stem, also goes to scouts. Plays guitar and enjoys messing about with his guitar on his own. Doing well at school.

11 yr old claims "everyone has Fortnite ." I don't think this is true but apparently a few close friends have now got it. Others got it ages ago. I know it's the sort of thing that lead to them arranging to play and being stuck in a team game. I've read it's really addictive.

Is it terrible to say no? Despite all the activities he does I feel he's on screens too much in the house.

The additional issue is that he's a much younger brother who's looking over his shoulder a lot.

My kids play Roblox and Minecraft and sometimes crash bandicoot - I said no to Fortnite as they simply have no time between school, eca’s etc. any game is addictive if there are no restrictions on it.

Interesting, thanks

He's listed a couple of mates that don't have it, one I see as very popular and doesn't appear to have any gaming stuff at all. Family do a lot of sports and outdoors stuff, holiday, campervan etc

They're in middle school so no transition next year.

A colleague said that because it's a social game, ending it was then him letting the team down. At the same time as he didn't do much sporty stuff she saw it as a social outlet for him. It sounds like they had issues though as she said "don't do it."

It’s a good game ( bar this season) and no more addictive than any other. I play it, my 3 kids play it, all in moderation. None of us have had any rage issues- it isn’t violent like many other games.

It can be addictive but as others said, it depends on the child. I have one DS (11) who just seems to have an addictive personality. The other, not so much.

11 yo would play football 24/7 if he were able. Ditto with games. I know his best friends have Fortnite and they play together. Nice children, good families.

I feel if your child does a mix of things then Fortnite probably isn't the worst thing he can play. It's designed to be addictive but explaining that rather than an outright ban might be a way of showing you trust him as he gets older.

Don't you have to kill people?

My eldest played it when he was about 12/13. It was during the pandemic and a good source of social interaction for him. Yes, I must admit he got a bit obsessed. He had strategy books and drew loads of pictures and even wrote Fortnite themed stories. I honestly can't complain about that tbf. He's 15 now and hasn't suffered any ill effects as far as I know. Not crouching in the undergrowth or wandering the streets trying to shoot people. He likes Kerbal Space Program and Space Engineers, but that's starting to fizzle out too because these days he just likes hanging out with his mates.

12 year old here and we do not allow. We also said no to Roblox on the grounds of safety and also in app purchases. My DS has been in specialist with other children with SEMH issues since year 3 and many of the children had Fortnite even then.

My 6 year old plays it sometimes with a couple of children from his class (supervised) or with me and DH. He does plenty of other activities though.

There's a good amount of content that isn't battle based like the Lego and racing.

Yes, it is addictive, to boys anyway. If all his friends play (in my son's year 5/6 class pretty much all of them do), he will feel left out if he's not allowed it. In a way its nice that they all meet up online and play together. If I hear my son getting into arguments, he has to come off straight away, and he's not allowed to play with strangers. We limit his time to 1h a day, which might seen a lot, but often they get stuck in waiting rooms, and the hour goes by without much playing. I'm not a fan and would rather he didn't have Fortnite, but there is a lot of peer pressure. I've not found him to be more aggressive or ditching other activities for it. And apparently by year 8 it's very 'uncool' and they're on Fifa instead.

My 12 year old isn't allowed Fortnite. I work with kids and see how negative it is for there behaviour. There is also a very clear pattern in the dcs school that the worst behaved kids are all addicted to Fortnite (5 years upwards). They seem to have significant anger issues to and rarely do anything but play Fortnite. It's very sad as they are so angry and isolated.

mine are 13 and 16 now, I honestly can’t see what all the fuss was about Fortnite when they were younger 🤷‍♀️ they started playing it seeing 10/11. its so cartoony - it’s like playing cops and robbers (pow! Bam!)or Kick the Can. It’s great fun to play. They still go back and mess around in Fortnite from time to time.

i think that a lot of the ‘they have meltdowns when told to get off so they must be addicted’ is because parents don’t understand they often play in teams / pairs etc and you have to stay to the end of the match. We changed our rules to allow them to finish a match if called for dinner etc. never had a problem getting them to stop off were met them half way.

Well your cartoon character ‘kills’ other cartoon characters, if that’s what you mean.

DS has played it since about 10. I played it first. It is all very cartoony so when you shoot people basically their life force decreases and then they just flash and disappear so it’s nothing like GTA or COD. It’s also a very strategic game which I like. You need to think about a lot of things and plan effectively/ cooperate to win. It’s not just about going round shooting everyone.

we’ve also always been v clear about time limits and that he needs to plan for when it goes off and that it doesn’t take precedence over other stuff. No gaming in the week as no time. No screens at all after 8:30.

he’s now 13 and plays occasionally with RL friends - they will message and agree to play for an hour or so at the weekend. However, he generally now prefers FIFA.

I agree that a lot of kids spend too much time on it and sometimes it’s easier just not to allow it at all but it’s worked out ok for us.

My 9 and 11 year old play it, have done on and off for a few years. I don't mind it at all tbh, they play together, with friends ect, I've even played it myself so I can try join in on the excitement, I'm not very good mind.

I think 11 is a reasonable age to be allowed to play Fortnite and tbh I think you are excluding him from a common peer activity, and honestly setting him up to be the "crap player" in the group when he's finally allowed.
I would let him play it.

But games finish after about 20 mins or so, give them a timeframe and stick to it. If they counter a time to finish either agree or say no. Minecraft, Roblox etc don't have an end time do I found it was more a 'let me finish this' rinse and repeat and it was harder to get them off

My DS is ND, and has had several different therapists over the years.

Every single professional, including one whose a very experienced psych, have said the same thing when we've said we don't allow him to play Fortnite.

'Good. Keep it that way.'

DS doesn't like it, but we explained we mostly allow him freedom to play, or do what he likes & only say no to things that really matter & he has to trust that.

My 9 year old plays, I found it's been a very social thing for him while the weather has been bad and can't get out much. He can be a really quiet child so it's been positive in he gets much more social interaction with kids from class. It definitely can be addictive but it's on you as a parent to police that like any game or activity. The games usually have time frames anyways so it's easy enough to enforce

I let my DS play it from 10 after I tried it myself to see if it was suitable. I am not a gamer and didn't find it too bad.

I remember writing in his card "you can play Fornite now" and he was delighted.

I have his account locked down so he can't voice chat with strangers and his friends cannot see if he is online.

I play occasionally with DS too, so he can proudly reach me things in the game.

With screentime boundaries, we haven't had an issue with addiction or too much time on it. Once his screentime is up, it is up. End of.

Mine started asking for it about 10, I said no, by 11 they could see how the behaviour if the fortnite obsessed boys had changed (not the occasional players) and no longer wanted it as didnt want to be like that !!

My 6 and 8 year old have been playing about a year. I play as well, so am very familiar with the game. I think it's very fun!

My kids have a screen cut off time, and I do try to give them 30min warning so they know not to start a new bed wars battle or something (which can last a long time, while battle royale takes about 20min). As others said, these are battles happening in real time, you can't pause and come back later, which is where frustration can come in if the kids need to get off. Mine know the routine though, and we don't have many problems.

Fortnite is great not really killing more eliminating - no gore and quite cartoony. I'd let him with all the appropriate parental restrictions. There is a lot of socialising done on it as well.

We have no rage
Managing time is easy - a game can last a maximum of 25 mins so we tend to say last game rather than 10 more minutes.
Something like FIFA has the same issue /- can't be paused.

We both play FN so that helps.

My 9 year old plays it, they're fine, and are not really bothered by it. They also play sometimes with their 32 year old sibling 😂 neither are addicted