To say no to Fortnite?

[wtafwtaf]

I'm a teacher and have some awareness of various games and what they're like for children. We said no to Roblox but yes to Minecraft. No mobile phone yet and hoping to eek that out. I bloody hate YouTube for various reasons; he's allowed a timed amount occasionally.

He has lots of friends and is very sporty, arty, into stem, also goes to scouts. Plays guitar and enjoys messing about with his guitar on his own. Doing well at school.

11 yr old claims "everyone has Fortnite ." I don't think this is true but apparently a few close friends have now got it. Others got it ages ago. I know it's the sort of thing that lead to them arranging to play and being stuck in a team game. I've read it's really addictive.

Is it terrible to say no? Despite all the activities he does I feel he's on screens too much in the house.

The additional issue is that he's a much younger brother who's looking over his shoulder a lot.

I'd stick to no. I'm a gamer, so is husband and kids. I've never seen rages like it when youngest played that game. It was horrendous.

He deleted it off his own back and was thankful when I banned it I think. Just no. No idea why it makes peoples brains go on like that, it's not worth it.

We let Ds aged 11 play it. He’s been sat in the same room as me playing it and I don’t know why parents get so funny about it to be honest. I guess maybe it depends on the other kids they’re playing with but Ds just enjoys a few games with his group of friends, they chat and laugh and then I give him a time to come off and he comes off. He knows if it’s getting close to his off time (currently 8.30 school nights) then he knows not to start another game. We don’t have any shouting or arguments about it. But I appreciate maybe we’re lucky!

My son is 10 and I let him play Fortnite. He plays online with lots of his friends. It's balanced with an otherwise busy and outdoor lifestyle so I think it's fine. Unfortunately it's a different way of living to my childhood but life is moving on and I accept that.

You can't pause it like minecraft or other games. A specific time limit won't work for fornight in the same way.

If I'm calling mine off, it's no good to say 15 mins and then turn it off, because 15 minutes could be mid game. Each match last around 20 mins, so I find its better to say "two more games then off" or "finish this match then off". That way it's tough luck if they die early on, but if they are doing well, I'll let them take it as far as they can.

@maddening I actually didn't know that 😆. I'm always in there hovering around saying how many players left! I say 10 mins regardless and it's tough. It is a real pain for that I definitely see the reticence with this element of the game.

My 7yo has just started playing and I held off for ages. I’m now wondering why I bothered, my DS is choosing really fun games that don’t involve killing and is playing with my DP. Me saying no for so long was turning it into a ‘thing’ and now that he has it, he doesn’t play it that often. Once or twice a week maybe when either a cousin or a friend ask him to play. He has three cousins on there are two friends who he goes to school with. He isn’t allowed to accept any other friend requests unless I know who it is, and can’t speak to anyone who isn’t a friend.

Yes exactly this. Or do what we do - if they have a sense of the time - and give them a time to be off and they have to manage their games within that time (works for older kids).

If parents just randomly start turning games off mid game no wonder kids get so frustrated.

My 9 year old plays it. It’s very low impact violence wise and only addictive if you’re not policing it properly. Like a previous poster has said, Minecraft also has violence in it. Slaughtering sheep / pigs and on the online play mode they can kill each other!
My 13 year old thinks Fornite is now babyish and neither him or his friends play it.

He is absolutely missing out socially if all his friends play it.

It's a game ffs. Give him a 20 minute warning before turn off time. If he makes a scene about it then ban him for a day.

As a Fortnite player, I wouldn't recommend Fortnite for kids. The impacts on the heart are well documented

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7523899/

Streamers have shown massive spikes in heart rate monitor readings while playing. It's and addictive game that causes a fight or flight response.

My 5 year old play fortnite. But he doesn't like battle royale (the killing one). He plays fornite lego. Or role play maps.

Fortnite has lots of different game modes and maps. Not just the shooting one.

Maybe check it out and give him a chance before banning it?

I said no to Fortnite when ds was 10, and he was completely on board with my reasons. Unfortunately it was HUGE that year and he and his bf fell out over it because the whole class fractured along their gaming preferences.

I’m not really sure how I’d have handled it if I had my time back again. I still stand by my reasoning. But I misjudged how significant it could be socially.

My just turned 10yo DD plays it with her friends, thay talk through the game. Her Dad also plays with her. My just turned 12 yo has played but not that fussed about it. All the boys in her yr5/6 classes played, she joined them a few times.

Coming off the game is just the same as any other game. We give plenty of warning and countdowns so they know how much times left.

My ds (12) has been playing Fortnite for about a year. Most of his friends do too. They have head sets and chat to each other, it’s been quite sociable during the bad weather. I held off for a long time but it’s been nowhere near as bad as I thought.

I remember when there was lots of people saying dont give your kids minecraft it’s so addictive . And now that seems to be the game that is approved as being partly educational and good for them. We had such a debate over whether or not to give these games and it didn’t really turn out to be a big deal at all.

My son is 15 and loves Fortnite. It is his go to chill out pass time. He is kinda hooked I would say. He is very sporty so incredibly active doing a sport most days. Fortnite can be social - and collaborative they often work in teams. When he got covid (wasn’t ill with it, just tested positive and it was the time when you had to isolate).

Says it was one of the best weeks of his life!

Fortnite is really hard to play you need really fast reactions and be able to multi task.

Apparently this latest season is rubbish though.

I could say if he never played Fortnite he might be an Olympic athlete…. But ya know he might not too.

They do it to chill. He literally NEVER watches TV.

I think it depends on how he reacts to gaming generally.
My 12 year old will play for a bit but does loads of other things and come off pretty much instantly.
I think my 13 year old would stay on it 24 hours a day if given the chance and really struggles to come off it.

I think it depends on the child.

My 12 and 8 year old have both very recently got it. The 8 year old will happily play a couple of games and come off when asked, even if in the middle of the game. The 12 year old struggles with the concept of coming off when asked and it creates quite a drama, so he is often banned from playing. I quite like that they can meet up with their friends or cousins online and play together though.

I would say no for as long as possible.

DS is year 7. I have had to get really strict with fortnite. He can have 30 mins every other day, or save it up to have an hour every 4th day.

His behaviour went downhill when I allowed longer than 30 mins. He also couldn't cope with playing it 2 days in a row.

If you do go ahead have absolutely clear rules and boundaries and stick to them. But my advice is to keep him away as long as humanly possible.

I don't think you're wrong to ban it, there are certain things I ban that others are more lax on (social media mostly, despite being "old enough", mine are a little older now) but the problem with banning something is it does make it the forbidden fruit and they idealise it. I don't care about social media as I will die on the hill for that, but found we could manage Fortnite, there's a bit of a frenzy at the start but have found it calms down. We have managed to put in place restrictions fine, and like anything it loses its edge, it proved a useful tool for making and maintaining friendships when they moved schools.

We have always had quite strict gaming rules in place so it wasn't difficult managing Fortnite. I'm not overly worried about the content of the game tbh. I've played it.

Game length can vary hugely, you could be first squad to be wiped so the game lasts 1 minute. Then it’s another lobby, if you become the winning squad then expect about 30 minutes.

I play Fortnite I used to play a lot with a great squad all adults when it first came out. We won a lot of matches.

From what I know it's not so easy to stop playing Fortnite?

Well you stop them? I don't rely on in game restrictions on any platform, we agree a time, they put a timer on Alexa, they come off, I double check.

(Yes with a little wriggle room for "I'm in a game!")

I have two sons, Fortnite was the only game I'm set against. Minecraft and the rest are okay but Fortnite just seems to be endless scrapping and arguing

My DS is 18. He had fortnight when he was younger - I can't remember what age. However it got out of hand. He wouldn't come to the dinner table. He got argumentative. So I stopped it apart from an hour on Friday and Saturday nights. He was livid. "All my friends have it ....etc etc". It was tough for a couple of weeks but he gradually lost interest. Now he says it was the best thing I did and was pleased I limited it.
Stand firm by your decisions.