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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask you about different types of privilege women can have? e.g slim, educated

452 replies

pepperandapples · 27/04/2024 11:30

Just that really - what are the different types of privilege that women can have that make them more or less privileged than other women?

e.g able bodied, wealth, education, slim. What else is there?

is height one? how about hair colour and accent etc?

I am trying to understand

OP posts:
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RaraRachael · 27/04/2024 11:32

I am fairly tall and slim. It's not a privilege. It's just genetically how I am.

I've also got terrible eyesight. Is that a privilege too as I get free eye tests? 🙄

pepperandapples · 27/04/2024 11:34

RaraRachael · 27/04/2024 11:32

I am fairly tall and slim. It's not a privilege. It's just genetically how I am.

I've also got terrible eyesight. Is that a privilege too as I get free eye tests? 🙄

You don't agree that being slim affords you privilege relative to people who are overweight? Surely you can understand how this benefits you.

OP posts:
VestibuleVirgin · 27/04/2024 11:36

These are not privileges per se.
Privilege comes from Latin privilegium, meaning a law for just one person, and means a benefit enjoyed by an individual or group beyond what's available to others. Someone wealthy come from privilege. Someone with a library card has borrowing privileges. Privilege can also be used as a verb. If you are on a committee giving away scholarships, you'll have to decide whether to privilege students from poor backgrounds or the students with high test scores.
So hair colour is not a benefit, nor is height, unless you are friends with the Giant community.
Why the focus on women?

zaxxon · 27/04/2024 11:36

I once got a job because the recruiter noticed I was good at cryptic crosswords. (Not the only reason, but it certainly helped) It must be genetic as my father was brilliant at them.

Puzzle-brain privilege!

AutumnCrow · 27/04/2024 11:36

I am very conscious in England how accent confers 'privilege'.

(I think it would help the discussion if you defined how you are using 'privilege', OP.)

VestibuleVirgin · 27/04/2024 11:39

zaxxon · 27/04/2024 11:36

I once got a job because the recruiter noticed I was good at cryptic crosswords. (Not the only reason, but it certainly helped) It must be genetic as my father was brilliant at them.

Puzzle-brain privilege!

Yayy! Great one to have!

40andlovelife · 27/04/2024 11:39

Getting the men in ICT department to attend your jobs asap without the need for form filling etc.

Having the male site staff move stuff/ fix stuff asap.

Singleandproud · 27/04/2024 11:39

The greatest privilege anyone can have is a supportive homelife, parents that believe in you but don't diminish you and a healthy sense of self esteem without either of those things the rest pale in comparison.

But why list privilege and constantly compare ourselves to others?

Things you list as privilege aren't always privilege in every scenario, women who are very attractive / blonde often don't get taken seriously in the world of employment but they might get served faster at a bar. They also might get harassed more, whereas I'm quite comfortable in my overweight, mumsy, heading towards middle aged, greying brunette 'privilege' where blokes don't harass me when I'm out and I can invisibly go about my business.

HazelLeader · 27/04/2024 11:40

Surely the most obvious is race - being white. Somewhat surprised you didn't mention it .

suburburban · 27/04/2024 11:40

Yawn

pepperandapples · 27/04/2024 11:41

VestibuleVirgin · 27/04/2024 11:36

These are not privileges per se.
Privilege comes from Latin privilegium, meaning a law for just one person, and means a benefit enjoyed by an individual or group beyond what's available to others. Someone wealthy come from privilege. Someone with a library card has borrowing privileges. Privilege can also be used as a verb. If you are on a committee giving away scholarships, you'll have to decide whether to privilege students from poor backgrounds or the students with high test scores.
So hair colour is not a benefit, nor is height, unless you are friends with the Giant community.
Why the focus on women?

There are lots of articles online discussing blonde privilege, for example. That is what I meant in relation to hair colour

OP posts:
Mnetcurious · 27/04/2024 11:41

RaraRachael · 27/04/2024 11:32

I am fairly tall and slim. It's not a privilege. It's just genetically how I am.

I've also got terrible eyesight. Is that a privilege too as I get free eye tests? 🙄

Being white is genetic too, it’s definitely a type of privilege in society. Slim privilege is definitely a thing whether you recognise it or not, although arguably within a person’s control to a large extent.

Iscreamtea · 27/04/2024 11:41

RaraRachael · 27/04/2024 11:32

I am fairly tall and slim. It's not a privilege. It's just genetically how I am.

I've also got terrible eyesight. Is that a privilege too as I get free eye tests? 🙄

As a short fat person I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that being tall and slim will have people (not all people but a significant proportion of them) treating you with much more respect. People see those who are taller and slimmer in a more positive light and those who are shorter and fatter in a more negative light.

That is a privilege but being the one with the privilege you just don't see it.

TwilightSkies · 27/04/2024 11:41

White privilege is a huge one.
Conversations on here about it never go well though. Lots of defensiveness and whataboutery……

Allfur · 27/04/2024 11:42

I thought privilege was a percieved advantage over others, if exercising and eating well keep you slim, isn't that open to all?

NuffSaidSam · 27/04/2024 11:42

I have English as a first language and that's an advantage in my area of work.

But I don't have a second language and that's also an advantage, so I think they cancel each other out.

AuroraHunter · 27/04/2024 11:42

As a white, upper middle class, healthy, financially privileged, hetro woman the deck of cards is stacked in my favour for life in general.

I live in a country with easy free access to contraception. And if that contraception were to fail I could access and afford an abortion without fear of breaking the law. So many women worldwide do not have that privilege.

If my husband were to beat me, i could divorce him.

My teenage dd will have a vastly different life trajectory to a girl living in Afghanistan under the Taliban rule. The expectations for my dd is that she will go to uni, be able to start her own career, get a financial leg up for me & dh as help with house deposit, etc.

Didimum · 27/04/2024 11:42

RaraRachael · 27/04/2024 11:32

I am fairly tall and slim. It's not a privilege. It's just genetically how I am.

I've also got terrible eyesight. Is that a privilege too as I get free eye tests? 🙄

Of course being tall and slim is a privilege. Just as being white is. Genetically determined doesn’t mean it’s not a privilege.

pepperandapples · 27/04/2024 11:42

Singleandproud · 27/04/2024 11:39

The greatest privilege anyone can have is a supportive homelife, parents that believe in you but don't diminish you and a healthy sense of self esteem without either of those things the rest pale in comparison.

But why list privilege and constantly compare ourselves to others?

Things you list as privilege aren't always privilege in every scenario, women who are very attractive / blonde often don't get taken seriously in the world of employment but they might get served faster at a bar. They also might get harassed more, whereas I'm quite comfortable in my overweight, mumsy, heading towards middle aged, greying brunette 'privilege' where blokes don't harass me when I'm out and I can invisibly go about my business.

Interesting. Yes, I agree. Although the vast majority of women who are CEOs have blonde hair, the data shows.

OP posts:
Iscreamtea · 27/04/2024 11:43

Singleandproud · 27/04/2024 11:39

The greatest privilege anyone can have is a supportive homelife, parents that believe in you but don't diminish you and a healthy sense of self esteem without either of those things the rest pale in comparison.

But why list privilege and constantly compare ourselves to others?

Things you list as privilege aren't always privilege in every scenario, women who are very attractive / blonde often don't get taken seriously in the world of employment but they might get served faster at a bar. They also might get harassed more, whereas I'm quite comfortable in my overweight, mumsy, heading towards middle aged, greying brunette 'privilege' where blokes don't harass me when I'm out and I can invisibly go about my business.

This is true. Getting fat was a great way of filtering out unwanted male attention.

pepperandapples · 27/04/2024 11:43

Didimum · 27/04/2024 11:42

Of course being tall and slim is a privilege. Just as being white is. Genetically determined doesn’t mean it’s not a privilege.

Exactly! I agree

OP posts:
Didimum · 27/04/2024 11:43

RaraRachael · 27/04/2024 11:32

I am fairly tall and slim. It's not a privilege. It's just genetically how I am.

I've also got terrible eyesight. Is that a privilege too as I get free eye tests? 🙄

Of course being tall and slim is a privilege. Just as being white is. Genetically determined doesn’t mean it’s not a privilege.

Overtheatlantic · 27/04/2024 11:43

I’ve had pretty, white privilege in the past. I currently have affluent white privilege.

40andlovelife · 27/04/2024 11:44

HazelLeader · 27/04/2024 11:40

Surely the most obvious is race - being white. Somewhat surprised you didn't mention it .

The most underachieving group of kids in Britain are white boys.

Go to many areas in north Manchester and tell me white is a privilege.

CLASS is the defining factor not bloody race.

Stop with this race baiting.

ConflictedCheetah · 27/04/2024 11:44

Well for me, I'm a white, straight woman who had an excellent education and relatively wealthy, middle class upbringing. So I've had a whole lot of privilege iny life. Accent definitely makes a difference as PP mentioned - can be considered an indicator of class which people make all sorts of inferences from in this country. I'm well spoken, which helps, but have an Irish accent (and I pronounce H as Haitch 😂) but people in the UK wouldn't recognise which Irish accent it is.

But I wouldn't consider things like being slim, or hair colour to be indicators of privilege.

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