To ask that people STOP giving incorrect Legal advice!!!

[PoisonMaple]

I see this time and time again.

Stop it. Especially in family matters.

I get it, some information is generic and helpful, but seriously, the details!!! Stop it. These are people who are struggling and looking for understanding, give it, but stop giving Legal advice unless you're qualified to do so.

No, you are not garaunteed spousal maintenance.

No, you cannot name the OM/OW in Proceedings.

No, you cannot delay your divorce to force the other side into financial disclosure.

No, you are not going to get to keep the house because you've been at home with children. Even if you do get the house, it'll be for a set period of time until the Courts deem that you need to sell or find an agreement which allows the other sides longterm housing needs to also be met.

No, you cannot just 'get his payslips,' get your 'ducks' in a row, screenshot the messages, and then assume that you'll get a better settlement with all this evidence. You won't.

'Custody' is not a thing. Your child(ren) will live with and spend time with.

No, you cannot ensure PR remains only yours. A Declaration of Parentage is simple and straightforward, as is the process to prove you're a parent and get PR, even abusers are entitled to that. It does not guarantee contact, but you can't stop PR by not adding to a birth certificate. Especially if the other side is persistent and wants that right.

I understand more than most how emotive a marriage/relationship breakdown is, both the human and legal aspect of it.

The bottom line is this, every matter is different. The process may start off the same, but the outcome is not the same each time and never garaunteed. A settlement that I can get for 1 client is absolutely not going to be the case for another client, even if their circumstances are the same.

Exercise and dietary advice on here is often appalling if not outright dangerous.

.

All the recommendations to “photocopy his documents” makes me wince.

Unlawfully obtained documents will not be admissible in litigation. Fair enough, if he leaves stuff on the table. But rifling through drawers? Big no.

https://www.lawsociety.org.uk/topics/family-and-children/imerman-disclosure-and-self-help-in-financial-proceedings

Nurses and doctors are very different. Completely different roles and skill sets. Not at all similar to the relationship between Paralegals and solicitors.

I think it's the same of whatever area your expertise is. You assume advice/the media/others are correct even though they frequently arent

For example I know a fair amount about native uk animals, and see lots of inaccurate information being given out everywhere from mums net to my local mp for example. I clearly see news reports widely shared that have massive inaccuracies that make the whole story likely fake

However.....

I don't see this when it's a subject I don't know well, I assume that that news article is right, I end up goggling for advice etc

It's like an odd mix of optimism and naivety

I think there is some similarity though.
I hurt my hand at the weekend, I went to a+e and saw once clinician throughout. She triaged me, sent me off for an xray, told me the results, cleaned my wound, steristripped it, strapped it and gave me antibiotics

She was a nurse. I didn't see a Dr face to face throughout. I'm not sure if she was a nurse prescriber, or was working with a Dr but you'd be 100% forgiven for blurring the nurse Dr role.

There's plenty of people who would have no idea that the people they saw in A+E were nurse consultants, paramedics, advanced practitioners, nurse prescribers etc and assume they were drs

In the same way people assume most people in a solicitors office are solicitors and don't realise they encountered a paralegal

To be honest I agree, I mean asking a public forum is never going to go well, but am often stunned at th4 stuff I read.

the common law wife myth, through to the get all your ducks in a row nonsense that people trot out, record him, photograph his documents, snoop on his phone, you will get a mesher order, you can keep th4 house, you can have such a high percentage as you don’t work, some people act like they are James bloody bond.

YANBU and it applies to motoring, consumer rights and especially matters around payroll, tax and employment rights, there is utter shit spouted on here that is the diametric opposite of the true position on most threads.

Surely having sone idea of your partners finances is a good idea? Proof of a bank statement or savings account or pension statement.

Just so you know if they hide the information later down the line.

That's practical advice, not legal advice.

I hear you OP. I am not a solicitor but I had to learn family law inside out to represent myself effectively in court during a very protracted and difficult divorce/ancillary relief proceedings. If I give advice on here, it's factual and if I'm unsure, I won't say anything. I've seen some horribly incorrect advice on here, meant with kindness, but misleading nonetheless.

Recently I was asked for advice by a school mum who was aghast that her ex husband was not going to be ordered to pay her mortgage, forgo settlement from the family home and have to pay substantial spousal on top. This was all on £30k a year. However, somebody had told her that this was fact and I'm afraid I had to put her straight.

The one thing I would say is that I do agree that it's wise to gather up information quietly if you can. I regret not doing this. It made my case very difficult with an uncooperative respondent. Of course this isn't possible for everybody.

Some of this is inaccurate OP.

You absolutely can be awarded the house because you are at home with the children without a mesher/having to sell at a later date. I was.

My ex also named my partner in proceedings.

Anyone who gets legal advice from layperson is getting better advice than my mate has received from hugely expensive professionals. He owns his house - he has paid for it! His neighbour tried to defraud him out of his land and when he looked into it he found that the LR had registered part of his and to his neighbour. He investigated and found that when his neighbour's property was registered, it was done on forged papers - that means the neighbour's registration was void. He wrote and complained to the LR and managed to get the land removed from his neighbour. But the neighbour had taken him to court while the LR were still investigating the matter. When he got to court - they refused to allow his evidence, he was not allowed to speak in court and he was not allowed to give a statement, he had a duff solicitor who had not sent in papers to court when he should have done, he had got another solicitor costing £6000 who did nothing, he got a barrister who was too terrified of the judge to speak on his behalf. His neighbour's solicitor was greedy and talked my mate out of seeking relief from sanctions, The neighbour's counsel in court took a document out of his disallowed evidence and misdirected the court on the facts in favour of his client, and the judge believed him. He lost his case and had £54000 to pay - he does not owe the money they will not listen to his evidence, he is now unemployed and he has a charging order on his house, He has done nothing wrong! Get out of that one! Many lay people know far more about the law than legal people! I told him, to send his story to the papers - it will be the story of the year.

As a lawyer, could I ask that everyone ignore the OP and continue giving really bad legal advice so I have a steady income please ?

Pretty sure from the style and bad grammar the OP isn't actually a solicitor. More likely a receptionist that has experience in a single solicitors' firm.

😁

Touché 🤣

@PoisonMaple

I find it hard to believe that you’re legally qualified at all, when you make no mention of the jurisdiction your ‘advice’ pertains to. 😂

For my divorce I got a 'free' hour with a solicitor. What was not free was the legal advice she then sent me based on the call. Still not bad considering subsequent phone calls were £3 a minute.

It also annoys me when one parent moves away and the typical MN response is always ‘the parent who moved away should do the driving for DC contact’ nope, this is not the case!!

It's much more likely that a solicitor has poor grammar then a receptionist does!

In most lines of work it's the secretaries making stuff readable!

I was going to say this. Pretty much all professionals have it drummed into them that they are not insured to give free advice. Although it might be hard to sue a random on Mumsnet.

I've been through divorce and would say that there is a lot of process and info to get your head around - and one free hour with a paralegal to advise on how it will work going forward would be very valuable. No need to pay a solicitor for that bit (you can pay them a LOT later on for their advice once they've got all your figures and facts in front of them)

You absolutely CAN name the OW/OM in a divorce. It is just recommended against as it may 'raise tensions'

For me it was a vital part. They were not happy, but it was the truth.

So maybe you should not be giving incorrect information.

Lol wut?

In fairness to the OP I don't think you can anymore. You used to have to pick a reason to divorce (irreconcilable differences, adultery, unreasonable behaviour etc, whatever they were) but now it's a no-fault divorce so adultery doesn't even come into it.